Coming back

[Hawk]

Its been a while since I have been here - two years..... Seemed like I had drinking under control but I don't. The past few months Abe been horrible and I am just exhausted by it. I did AA for 6 months and while I felt great not drinking, I did not find the organization to be as helpful as I thought it would be. So I am back here, exhausted, and hoping to get on the strait and narrow again. I am just so tired of it all. Life is easier when I don't drink. Just need to get the ball rolling....:thanks:

[Wildflowers]

Coming back

Hawk;1324269 wrote: Its been a while since I have been here - two years..... Seemed like I had drinking under control but I don't. The past few months Abe been horrible and I am just exhausted by it. I did AA for 6 months and while I felt great not drinking, I did not find the organization to be as helpful as I thought it would be. So I am back here, exhausted, and hoping to get on the strait and narrow again. I am just so tired of it all. Life is easier when I don't drink. Just need to get the ball rolling....:thanks:

Hi Hawk,

Glad! you made it back! :welcome: Take parts of the AA Program that you like, parts of MWO, parts of any program that will help you achieve a lasting & reasonably happy sober life. Yes, all this going back & fourth is more exhausting imo then just staying AF. You already have the ball rolling just cause your here & willing to begin again. Many people don't make it back! So were the lucky ones!

I too have many times thought I could control the drinking, even recently. But, since I'm a true alkie, the drinking always ends up controlling me. Ya know what AA says, surrendering means winning!

Stay connected to others here or elsewhere who understand, be patient with yourself, try to do something healthy for yourself each day!

Namaste

Wildflowers

[LibraryGirl]

Coming back

Welcome back Hawk. I've only been at this a few months, so I'll be on this journey with you. I guess since you aren't new to MWO, there's nothing I can recommend other than, stay close, post often!

LG

[Hawk]

Coming back

Thanks Wildflowers and Library Girl. You are right - it is easier to not drink at all. Now getting my brain to accept that fact after a few months is the trick. I need to not stray away from support. That seems to be the beginning of the end for me. Thanks for the encouragement and kind words. I need both!

[Destiniey]

Coming back

Welcome back Hawk! I have had more day 1's than I care to remember!!!!! It is a vicious cycle when we drink and it never ends up pretty! I am glad that you are back on here and that is a gerat first step. Try to come on here as much as possible during the day so that we can help you. It is comforting to know that you are not alone! Good Luck!

[angel77]

Coming back

Hi Hawk, Glad you are back on MWO. I didn't really like AA either. It's great for a lot of people but wasn't really for me. I found reading literature about recovery and posting on here helps to keep me going. Good luck on keeping sober!

[pixie]

Coming back

Hi Hawk! I remember you, though you may not remember me because I was mostly a lurker. I have also just recently returned to MWO - it's good to be back among such supportive people, though I wish there was no reason for me to return:sigh:

Like you, I know that long term sobriety is best for me, but I'm not yet to the point where I can convince my drinking brain of that. I can moderate short-term, but not long-term, so I need my brain to get with the program.

Stick around and maybe we can help each other figure out what we need in our toolboxes to make our goals happen.

[Hawk]

Coming back

Thanks for the encouraging words everyone. Good to see you Pixie. Let's do it together! Day 2 almost over. I'm grateful.

[Lavande]

Coming back

Hi & welcome back Hawk,

We're almost neighbors!
I have been AF a little over three years & I intend to stay glued to MWO!
Why mess with a good thing, huh?

Wishing you the very best & hope to see you around the threads

Lav

[Tipplerette]

Coming back

Hi Hawk, I, too am having trouble with moderation. I really believe that alcoholism is a progressive disease and even though I think I am moderating, it's me who suggests we open the second bottle of wine lately. That's a step in the wrong direction for this little shrimp. My body has trouble with the first half bottle.. the second gets me to the hangover stage. I would like to abstain starting this Monday as we are having wine connaisseurs over for the weekend and I am not confident of my ability to say no at this point.

Good luck on your A/F journey.

[windy]

Coming back

Hi Hawk,

Love your name -- I just hope your are not a Chicken Hawk!:chick::chick: Well...I am really an old hen. How are you doing today?

It's hard to get back at it, but you sound really determined. I think that is what it really takes -- determination; a plan and true grit.....and a plan. We know how much better it is to be sober, so let's make June a sober June and get the ball rolling!! Yahoo

[K9Lover]

Coming back

Hi Hawk,

Glad you're back! Keep reading and posting, you'll find so much information and encouragement around here. And if things get hard, give us a shout out...we're happy to help!

K9

[finallydone]

Coming back

Welcome back Hawk! I know exactly how you feel. Moderation doesn't work me. I am a all or nothing kind of person. Learning to understand who i am is maybe one of the biggest revelations on why total abstience is my only option. Send me a pm if your going threw a rough stretch. And I hear you on AA it's not for me either. I'm here if you need a friend to talk to.

[Ghostwriter]

Coming back

Hawk

Just wanted to say hi, and I'm back too. Almost completely quit last summer, but slipped back in the habit. I'm going to focus more on putting good stuff in me this time, and less on NOT putting alcohol in me. I had a big scare yesterday morning when I realized I had likely severely damaged my liver from 10+ years of hardcore daily drinking--and I've got two little girls to raise alone. No more games for me. We need to treat ourselves well from now on. It's just not worth it.
Good luck!

[Hawk]

Coming back

Thanks so much everyone. It's great to see so much success here and support. I remain hopeful. Three days down now! Onward. Planning is everything.