Scared but want to quit drinking-how to stay motivated

[neney]

Hi there,
:new:
I am a Mum to two young boys whom i love dearly. I started drinking 16 months ago and have been drinking every night. I have had patches of problem drinking in the past. I know I need to quit or cut down but am unsure which i need to do. I have used alcohol as an escape from reality and to ease my anxious mind. The one main thing is I used to own a home with less than 80k owing and now we have just a townhouse and owe more than half, and this is worth less than 300k. My home was worth more than 420k. I am really struggling to come to terms with how i can ever own a home again and find it hard to let go of making such a huge mistake. The problem is, in the mornings i am very motivated but by the afternoon i have had that much 'crap' going on in my head that I find there is really no peace of mind and i want to escape from that and all my uncertanties about the future. Please be kind on me, just new and just a bit scared too.
Many thanks in advance.

[Cat Belle]

Scared but want to quit drinking-how to stay motivated

Good morning Neney - we have all been there, waking up in the opening determined not to drink that night, but as the day wears on, that resolve fades and. Next thing you know you have glass in hand all to forget the things we don't wanna deal with. Take a look at the tool box and get yourself a plan, go visit the newbies nest. We are all dealing with the same demon.

Cat

[Lavande]

Scared but want to quit drinking-how to stay motivated

Hello welcome Neney,

Glad you decided to join us
There are healthier ways to handle stress - we just need to find what works best for us!

I started out by reading the MWO book. You can download the pdf from the Health Store here. It has lots of info for you. Making a good plan for yourself, covering all your drinking triggers is essential to your success. If you can, purchase the MWO Hypno CDs - they really helped me change my thinking about AL & learn to relax. There are loads of free hypnosis & mediatation recordings on the internet as well.

Commit yourself to an AF period of 30 days then see how you feel. A lot of us have found it easier to remain AF than to deal with moderation, counting & planning drinks, etc.
Please drop in the Newbies Nest thread for ongoin support.

Wishing you the best!
Lav

[Yogamom]

Scared but want to quit drinking-how to stay motivated

Hi Nene. I am new too, so i can't give u much advice on staying sober but i can be here to listen. I am only AF for 6 days, but i have been staying close here and getting support. There are so many good people here. How old are your boys?

[neney]

Scared but want to quit drinking-how to stay motivated

Thanks for reply. I send you support as well in your journey. My boys are 16 months and 3 and a half. I am both excited and scared. How are you feeling?.

Yogamom;1325465 wrote: Hi Nene. I am new too, so i can't give u much advice on staying sober but i can be here to listen. I am only AF for 6 days, but i have been staying close here and getting support. There are so many good people here. How old are your boys?

[SAUSAGE]

Scared but want to quit drinking-how to stay motivated

Hi Neney and welcome to MWO - you have found a fantastic resource to help you if you stick around.

i can relate to your story about drinking every night with 2 young children, that was when things got out of control for me when my children were about 1 and 2 years old. Rather than type masses out here can you look in the My Story sectiion and look for 6 months sober, here's my story by Sausage - you need to look at all my posts from 2009 up to earlier this month ( I had a relapse but I'm doing great now).

Have you found the Tool Box thread in the Monthly Abstinence section, that gives you lots of ideas for help when you are struggling at the witching hour or evening, also check into the Newbies Nest in the Just Starting out section, you will meet lots of people in early stages of quitting there plus get tips and advice from others who have been sober much longer.

Re the property value thing, this must be tough ( I had problems selling my home last year and eventually made a 50k loss on it) times are tough in this recession and a lot of people are losing money on the value of their homes. There is not a lot you can do about this but you can control the amount of money you are wasting on drinking and all that it involves eg taxis etc. have you calculated how much you have spent on alcohol etc in the last 16 months?

Keep posting and look forward to seeing you around

[Yogamom]

Scared but want to quit drinking-how to stay motivated

Hi Nene. Good morning. How is it going? Your boys are so young ... I bet they keep u pretty busy. My youngest is my litttle girl who is 5, but i have older children too and will become a grandma this fall. I am doing ok, but scared too. But this morning i dont have an aching head and i am not trying to remember what i said or did last night. We are all in this together. You can do it!

[neney]

Scared but want to quit drinking-how to stay motivated

Hi there,

Thanks for your reply, i really appreciate. How has life changed for you since quiting drinking and what was the hardest part? I love having support here, how lovely an online community!! You are so right about all the worries just coming back the next day after drinking, then some more. I really need to learn how to manage stress in a positive manner and not feel so fearful. Thanks again, I really appreciate.

mollyka;1325348 wrote: Morning Neney - and welcome! Course we'll be kind to you:l We've all been there - that's why we're here so to speak
I sympathise with you on the financials - in this country (Ireland) so many people are in the same boat and it can feel like it consumes your mind doesn't it. Sometimes booze seems like it let's us escape from those horrible anxieties and worries - and I s'pose it does --- for a short while - but oh gawd when we sober up All that horrible anxiety floods back - and then some. All it does is temporarily 'shuts us down' - and instead of facing up to the realities, it makes us unprepared for those feelings when they come back.
I'm not gonna regale you with info. and facts - all I'll say is, you are really doing the right thing - booze multiplies anxiety by a factor of a million imo! Try having a look in tool box - I'll send a link when I can remember how to do it!!! it gives great hint's and tip's on how to get started - and stay started. This is a great adventure - the start of a whole new life:welcome::l

[neney]

Scared but want to quit drinking-how to stay motivated

Hi Mav,

Thanks for all your tips. I really love Hypno CD's and all things to do with re training the mind. I love this forum, thanks for your support so far, I really appreciate. I will be back here soon and hope to have more help along the way. :thanks:

Lavande;1325452 wrote: Hello welcome Neney,

Glad you decided to join us
There are healthier ways to handle stress - we just need to find what works best for us!

I started out by reading the MWO book. You can download the pdf from the Health Store here. It has lots of info for you. Making a good plan for yourself, covering all your drinking triggers is essential to your success. If you can, purchase the MWO Hypno CDs - they really helped me change my thinking about AL & learn to relax. There are loads of free hypnosis & mediatation recordings on the internet as well.

Commit yourself to an AF period of 30 days then see how you feel. A lot of us have found it easier to remain AF than to deal with moderation, counting & planning drinks, etc.
Please drop in the Newbies Nest thread for ongoin support.

Wishing you the best!
Lav

[neney]

Scared but want to quit drinking-how to stay motivated

Hi Sausage,

Thanks for your reply. I will read your story. I really apprecaite all the support I have had so far. I will look at the links and take advice given. I will be back here soon, brekky time here so bust morning. Take care and thanks again. :thanks:

SAUSAGE;1325896 wrote: Hi Neney and welcome to MWO - you have found a fantastic resource to help you if you stick around.

i can relate to your story about drinking every night with 2 young children, that was when things got out of control for me when my children were about 1 and 2 years old. Rather than type masses out here can you look in the My Story sectiion and look for 6 months sober, here's my story by Sausage - you need to look at all my posts from 2009 up to earlier this month ( I had a relapse but I'm doing great now).

Have you found the Tool Box thread in the Monthly Abstinence section, that gives you lots of ideas for help when you are struggling at the witching hour or evening, also check into the Newbies Nest in the Just Starting out section, you will meet lots of people in early stages of quitting there plus get tips and advice from others who have been sober much longer.

Re the property value thing, this must be tough ( I had problems selling my home last year and eventually made a 50k loss on it) times are tough in this recession and a lot of people are losing money on the value of their homes. There is not a lot you can do about this but you can control the amount of money you are wasting on drinking and all that it involves eg taxis etc. have you calculated how much you have spent on alcohol etc in the last 16 months?

Keep posting and look forward to seeing you around

[LibraryGirl]

Scared but want to quit drinking-how to stay motivated

Hi neney.:welcome: Did I read you right, and you have only been drinking for 16 months? That's awesome. I mean, it's awesome you've decided to quit now. Most of us have given away years to AL. I know that I have!

You'll find lots of support here, and I hope to see you around often!

LG

[neney]

Scared but want to quit drinking-how to stay motivated

Hi Yogamum,

It's nice to have another mum to talk with and share journey into recovery. How are you going? Would you like to be each others support buddies. No worries if you don't wish to, just a thought.
Neney

Yogamom;1326059 wrote: Hi Nene. Good morning. How is it going? Your boys are so young ... I bet they keep u pretty busy. My youngest is my litttle girl who is 5, but i have older children too and will become a grandma this fall. I am doing ok, but scared too. But this morning i dont have an aching head and i am not trying to remember what i said or did last night. We are all in this together. You can do it!