Day 3 AF

[mauritiusdodo]

:blush: sneaking back in here, on day 3 without my crutch and feeling ok, I am taking it ODAT this time and not going to set myself any goals other than to have as many days AF a week as I can manage, my drinking has crept back up to almost two bottles a day on at least 5 days a week which is not good at all and I really need to get a grip. I will try to visit the site more as I know it helps to keep me on the straight and narrow...

[Dave_]

Day 3 AF

Mauri, you deserve all the support in the world but until you take responsibility for the lapses you will not make it. Make a decision and be accountable for the those decisions.

[mauritiusdodo]

Day 3 AF

Not had many AF days since my last post but managed to stay off it today and I have booked myself a hypnotherapy consultation on Friday, am going to try it out and see how I go, a lovely lady on here recommended it to me, I hope it will help me.

[Tipplerette]

Day 3 AF

Mauri, you can do it. Two bottles a night will do a number on you, eh... Glad you are here with us strugglers. I am a chronic relapser but have managed 14 days so far with the help of my MWO friends. Stick around and you will start feeling stronger.

All the best.

[TheSunFlower]

Day 3 AF

Congrats on being back. I don't really agree with the "take responsiblity" post. It can feel like a shut down. We have a disease and what we do is drink....we have to fight to get sober

[LibraryGirl]

Day 3 AF

I used to believe that one size fits all, even though I knew better (intellectually). I thought, if this works for me, it will work for you. !BOINK! Hammer over the head: See what I'm doing? Do this!

In reality, it takes all kinds of trials in order to overcome habits/addictions. Setting goals seems to work very well for some, but for others it can seem like pressure. I say try one way, if it doesn't work, try another.

Welcome back and continue to fight the good fight!

LG

[Running4life]

Day 3 AF

Welcome back Mauri, it is good to hear from you.
R4L

[mauritiusdodo]

Day 3 AF

Thanks everyone, I love all the replies I get on here, sometimes we need to hear home truths and I am thankful to everyone who tries to get through my thick skull - I am so tired of kidding myself that I can stop easily if I want to, the godawful truth is that it is going to take A LOT of willpower and strength and will be an enormous struggle for me to regain control over my drinking, I have been back here so often with yet another plan for quitting and I am truly so bored of hearing myself say the same old thing, I am skeptical about the hypnotherapy thing, but going to go along with an open mind, I felt the same way about alternative therapies befor e and yet cupping got rid of a terrible back pain I had during pregnancy so hoping for similar results - I know it won't be a miracle cure and that I will still have a lot of work to do but hopefully it will set me on the right track.

I have been increasingly worried about the health implications of my level of drinking, I have had a bad stomach the last week or so and back ache and having read a recent post on here about pancreatitis I am panicking! I also worry about my liver a lot and my hubby suggested I went for a liver function test but I am too scared!:no:

[lil.michelle]

Day 3 AF

Hello hunni, dont read into what pains could mean what on google. You don't need another thing to worry about. If you get a test done for your liver sooner then it's likely you can correct any damage that's been done. Tbh, my main worry for you is you having a stomach ulcer.

Come back as many times as you want with as many different plans. We will back you all the way.
You just need to ignore the al voice! It gets weaker with time. Remember, it takes 30 days to get your body out of a habit, you can do this!

[Tipplerette]

Day 3 AF

I agree with you Mauri, it is not easy. I told hubby tonight it was the hardest thing I've ever done and will be the biggest accomplishment of my lifetime. You have to look at it as hard work that you are willing to do. You may get a few surprises along the way. You will have days when it won't seem like a struggle. Enjoy those as they can be short lived at first.

Join me; I have made so many plans and failed.. I have embarrassed myself on here more often than I care to remember with my "I can moderate", "I don't drink as much as most people" and other stupid excuses to drink. If I counted I probably have had over 100 day ones in three years. Pathetic but true. Day 15 for me (a record). Hop on board and we'll do this together.

[mauritiusdodo]

Day 3 AF

Thanks Michelle and Tipplerette Michelle I am seeing a hypnotherapist tomorrow wish me luck

Tip - how have you gotten 15 days under your belt? I hope that will be me soon!!

[Tipplerette]

Day 3 AF

I honestly don't know the answer to that question. This time it's different..?? I just have been plodding along using no tools whatsoever; just coming here twice a day when I can get online. It's a minor miracle really because I am exposed to alcohol every single day. On the weekends drinking starts at noon and continues until the wee hours of the morning at the lake house. I just make a huge batch of herbal iced tea; drink two or three non alcohol beers in the afternoon and when people show up with my favourite brands of red wine as hospitality gifts, I open them and pour everyone a drink skipping myself.

Sorry to make it sound so easy but I think the reason it's working is because I have finally hit the wall. I was taking my lack of self-respect and spinelessness to levels that were so low that I couldn't live with myself any more.

Vancouver will be a challenge. Last year, when the pinksters were on their roll in June, I made it to 14 days or so then caved in Vancouver with a similar situation to what I am facing this time. Going a week from today and will need all the support I can get.

Mauri, you will get there too. You just have to look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are worthy of sobriety. You have to want to be the person you are capable of being so bad that you start following through on the healthy changes you've commited to.

All this advice and I'm only on day 16.

[mauritiusdodo]

Day 3 AF

Tippler what are the pinksters? You sound so confident in your ability to do this this time, best of luck with your challenges I love your signature by the way, very fitting for me at the moment, I need big changes!

[mauritiusdodo]

Day 3 AF

Looking forward to my hypnotherapy appointment this morning, DS had me up at 5am again so I am feeling tired, stressed and anxious I am so fed up of not getting enough sleep but nothing I do makes any difference to his sleep patterns - and believe me we have tried everything!! I love the little dude but he drives me insane I am hoping the hypnotherapist might be able to help me relax more and not get so stressed as well as helping with the alcohol consumption - I feel like my head is going to explode sometimes!

I didn't drink last night, I went round to a friend's to practice a henna design I am doing on Sunday, it is an asian bridal booking so wanted to make sure I could execute the design well, her Mum and a friend who was visiting from Canada came round too and I did hand strips for them, also managed to make ?25 as her friend bought some of my candles and a mirror so was a good evening all round and I went to bed with a nice cup of decaff tea.

[mauritiusdodo]

Day 3 AF

I didn't warm to the hypnotherapy lady at all and her set up seemed very unprofessional, first of all she arrived just after me so I was standing in the rain wondering what to do, she didn't apologise for being late just ushered me upstairs and into an attic room where I had to step over a bucket to get into the toilet due to the leaky roof, the sink in the bathroom was full of dirty coffee cups and everywhere was untidy, she confessed she hoped I hadn't tried to ring as she had forgotten her mobile and doesn't have a landline! After a brief chat about my circumstances and reason for my visit she advised me that I would need a coaching session before starting the therapy and would probably need around 4 sessions, I asked the cost and she said every session is ?60 for one hour which would make my treatment ?300 at the very least!! I knew it wouldn't be cheap but i am not happy to pay so much especially since the environment didn't inspire confidence in me!! What she did do was convince me I need to go and get my liver function done so I am planning to call the doctor first thing on Monday so that is one step forward for me !