Weekend Drinkers

[Komrad]

Hi to All!

I've new here but have seen enough message boards to know there's probably a thread to cover my question but I haven't found it so let me ask. (Hey, a man asking for directions--not bad, eh?)

I am a "weekend only" drinker. For twenty years (I'm 50) I've been drinking only on the weekends. I never even drank more that a handful of times until I was 30.

For years it was a six-pack on Friday or Saturday. Several years ago I started drinking both Friday and Saturday. Same amount. Six-pack or bottle of wine. Recently I've upped that to a bottle of wine Friday and another bottle Saturday plus a couple of beers. I know that alcoholism is progressive and I've admitted for some time I have a problem with drinking. (I guess the best test is to just ask yourself if you think you drink too much. Doesn't matter how much you drink. If YOU feel you have a problem, you most likely have a problem.)

I don't know whether I'm "technically" a "problem/binge drinker" and/or an alcoholic. My bottom line is I'm tired of wasting my weekends with booze but by Thursday or Friday I'm really looking forward to drinking. (I still work out Saturday and Sunday and my hangovers are mild but I'm really tired of the whole thing.) I'm made it 30 days several times but I feel like life is pretty dull without alcohol. I never get rip-roaring drunk and I never drink during the week--ever. But I have near total control over all other areas of my life and this is driving me crazy!

That said, I'm interested in knowing if anyone else falls/fell into this pattern. I'm also interested in other people's drinking patterns. (Perhaps this is my mind's subtle attempt to compare and contrast with others to justify my drinking as "not that bad" and maybe continue doing so. I don't consciously think that's the case but throw that in to show I have some understanding about the way our minds work to find reasons to keep drinking.) So anyone who would be willing to share some info would be helpful. Most helpful would be what success you've had in overcoming your drinking problem.

Thanks

[aquamarine]

Weekend Drinkers

Komrad, Welcome! Your post struck me because for many years your pattern of drinking is how I used to drink. I would basically only drink on the weekends , rarely during the week and I really didn't think about it during the week. However you have to be careful. Somehow slowly over the years that compulsion to drink on the weekend turned into everyday. I can't even pinpoint when that changed.It was a slow process but one that definately progressed so that now it is very difficult to stop drinking. After reading alot about alcohol and experiencing my own struggle this is how I have come to understand it. You might just have a certain brain chemistry that once you set the process in motion there is no turning back . If you only occasionally drank and not to excess you might never have a problem . However once you start drinking on any kind of a regular basis your brain changes and and you actually develop a compulsion or addiction to alcohol.And the more and longer you drink you actually make the addiction worse. Then you end up in a situation that is very hard to get out of. I have to say I had no understanding of this when I kept drinking regularly. If someone told me that you can actually get yourself addicted to alcohol by repeatedly exposing yourself to it I think I really would have been much more careful with it. You just think you can stop whenever you want naively not realizing that you have created a situation that is very hard to break. You sound like your life is very much in control . And your drinking actually sounds pretty controlled. But- it also sounds like you do have that feeling that you have developed a bit of a compulsion or somewhat of an out of control feeling about your drinking. My advise is that is a huge warning sign. I would really listen to that voice in your head and be very careful so you don't unknowingly let things progress further than you'd like.
Hope this helps. Good Luck!

[lushy]

Weekend Drinkers

I agree with Aqua in that your drinking sounds controlled to me, but I am not you and if it is bothering you then yes you must make some sort of a change. You might want to look into the supplements suggested here because they can help with the cravings. My goal is to be a weekend drinker only, as I tend to drink daily, so as you can see the limits we set for ourselves are all different. I wish you the best.

[Deniselb]

Weekend Drinkers

Komrad
Your post really brings back memories. I started out as a weekend drinker and hope to get back to that someday, only in moderation. Anyway my drinking progressed to wine every night at dinner then champagne in the morning with breakfast, to finally drinking all day on my days off. I guess everyone is different and I find it's tough to label yourself. Drinking was on my mind far more than I wanted it to be and when it started to take a toll on my social and family life, I knew it was time to make some changes.

Welcome and so glad you found us. Best of luck in whatever you decide you've found the right place.

[Rags]

Weekend Drinkers

Welcome to MWO Komrad,
Yes, that was my pattern. Then it increased. Then it became every day. For years.
That you're on this site indicates you have concerns.
The hangovers are telling your body you have a problem. Take notice of what your body is trying to tell you.
Alcoholism is so sneaky and incidious, building up so we take forever to realise we have a problem, then we spend years denying that we do have a problem.

So, how does alcohol make your life exciting? Bungy jumping is exciting. Watching TV with a beer isn't. That's us fooling ourselves that we can't enjoy life without a drink.
Sounds like you only need to make a few changes to your lifestyle to achieve what you want, as you don't drink during the week. You may want to try the supps as Lush suggests. They do help dampen the desire for a drink. V8 is now my choice of drink through the week. I've cut right back to drinking at the weekend, but for me I still overindulge when I do drink. My goal is the same as Lush's. Or maybe extend that to a non wekday, non weekend drinker.
Rags

[Komrad]

Weekend Drinkers

Thanks to everyone who replied. I spent a lot of time today reading dozens and dozens of threads. I feel a little bit like the guy who has a broken ankle waiting for treatment only to see one accident victim wheeled in with missing limbs and multiple fractures. Yes, I do believe I have a problem. I now see that many others here have far more serious issues with both quantity and frequency and my heart has gone out to all of them/you. Addictions are insidious in that they never give you a break. We (at least I believe) bring them on ourselves and we have the ability to change any behavior. However, these chemicals are very powerful and very addictive.

I have never missed work or a workout for that matter due to drinking. I only spend about $50 a month on alcohol and only drink at home alone on the weekends. My wife has NO problem with my drinking whatsoever although I wish she would make it a "deal breaker" issue as I think that would stop it dead in its tracks. I have only driven while drinking once and that was 10 years ago and will never, ever put anyone else at risk like that again.

I related very much to a post by a doctor (forget his screen name) who talked about how no one else would have ANY idea there's a problem. Not friends, not work, not kids (mine are both grown.) Many of us are well-educated professionals and highly respected among our friends and co-workers. I'm a retired Marine Corps officer. I speak Russian fluently and have traveled a lot of the world. I own my home outright, have no bills, a good pension, medical/dental and all that plus I teach math at a junior high school. But none of that is any protection against the compulsion to drink. The term 'compulsion' is appropriate as I know I don't HAVE to drink on Friday but I really want to. I know there's a problem and I'm not happy that something/anything seems to have power over me.

Again, thanks to all here. I wish each of you the best in struggle to be free from this monster.

[Rags]

Weekend Drinkers

Dear Komrad,
Good to hear,
Yep, I held down my job and had two days off in 23 years due to hangover. Friends knew I liked my wine and beer and single malt and champs (not all at the same time) , but I was pretty good at concealing the extent of my problem. We are very good at deceit.... to ourselves and others.
You have an excellent start to do what ever you want without the worries of mortgage, job security and so on. Plus the discipline of your former work. All this will get you your goals.
Oooh you sound a bit like me... like to be in control.

[shezian]

Weekend Drinkers

Feel the same.. well said

Hi
This is exactly how l feel. Even though l can't offer much advice, I can totally relate to how you are feeling.
I have tried to go a weekend without a drink, but find it so boring. I really enjoy drinking good wine, and l love the way it makes me feel relaxed. I just couldn't image my life without it. I know when l have had too much l feel it the next morning. I can generally drink 3/4 to a bottle of wine to myself without a problem and l am female mother of twin girls. I only drink on weekends. I try to keep it to 3-4 glasses of wine and not over 5, but if friend are over for dinner it can be more, and that where l fall into problems. I feel crap the next day and start regretting having friends over. When its just hubby and me, l always drink according to my own standards which l dont' have problems with. I just have to work on keeping my drinking under control when socialising.

As long as you know where the problem is, you then just have to work on it. I always thought, if you wake up feeling fine, then its fine, but if you wake up feeling terrible, then you have had too much to drink.

Cheers

[stuck_with_me]

Weekend Drinkers

Hey, it's good to see you here. I think your right to intervene now before it progresses. My drinking patterns used to closely resemble yours...then it it changed to Wednesday nights also, Thursdays and then everyday... Hmmm - I should have seen it coming, jok

If you are concerned by your drinking and if others are taking notice then perhaps you're right to consider cutting down. And as you are craving alcohol by the end of the week you should try to consider why? What is motivating you to drink as opposed to socialising without that handy verbal and emotional laxative?

Here's a handy site:

If I drink alcohol, How Much is Too Much? www.AlcoholScreening.org

If you're interested it should be able to assess, with some degree of validity, whether your drinking is or has the potential to become, problem-drinking.