Is Alcoholism incurable disease?

[aka]

I heard that Alcoholism is incurable disease and even if you stopped drinking alcohol completely for no matter how many years you can never become a social drinker again.
For the last few years I've been drinking too much, like bottle of vodka/scotch a day, starting in the morning so just to go through the day.
Being myself originally from Russia, Moscow (came to Melbourne in 1997) it was ok to drink, but not at that level where I ended up. So I couldn't stop myself and after recent blackout my now ex-wife said get out, I went to detox for a week in April this year. Since then I don't drink. But now she says divorce. Full stop. Couldn't she tell me this before when I was drinking? I'd go to detox earlier. And now its all happened when I actually gave up.
Two kids: boy 9yo, girl 6yo. Just trying not to start again. Unbelievably hard to accept all this.

[paula]

Is Alcoholism incurable disease?

Welcome Aka, I have worked in mental health for many years, and have never met a true alcoholic, myself included and I have tried controlled drinking many times, who could drink alcohol and return to normal drinking. If I abstain completely I am fine, but one drink leads to me drinking uncontrolably. I don't know whether it's a disease or an addiction, but I do know that I am far better not trying to control it. Surely if it were normal we wouldn't have to think about it. My brother stopped drinking for years as he was out of control, then 3 years ago he started again, within 2 years he was dead, with cirrhosis. So I personally feel it is unsafe to drink. You will come across many people on this site with various opinions, and arguments for and against, but ultimately the decision whether to drink or not is a personal one. so sorry for your personal problems. Good luck.

[spacebebe01]

Is Alcoholism incurable disease?

Hi aka, I personally dont think of alcoholism as an incurable disease, I also was drinking a bottle of vodka plus a day and am now not drinking, it has taken me a lot of time, successes, failures, investigating and most of all trying but at far as Im concerned Im not an alcoholic anymore because I dont need to drink anymore. I will always need to take action to stop myself returning to it tho. But thats just me, other people on here have very different opinions and it is up to you to find your own.

I am wondering tho if that question is your actual worry right now, well done on your 3 months(?) sober time, and now your wife want a divorce which seems to be the real problem. I dont know anything about your marriage or why your wife wants this now but all I can say is for your own sake and the sake of your two children you should do everything you can not to drink while this is going on. That is the only way that you will get a better outcome from this, is to have a clear head and try to do what you can to save your relationship if not with your wife then with your children.

Everything will look very bleak for you right now, please try and look after yourself and get all the strength you can to work through this situation. My heart goes out to you.

[MWOLady]

Is Alcoholism incurable disease?

Hi AKA, so brave of you to stop drinking after so much, especially now that your whole world is crashing down on you. Yes, better consider yourself STOPPED for good now. At least until your life has been settled for quite a long time.

Can you ask your wife to wait for a year and see how that goes? Just so things settle down? Maybe there is something to salvage from your marriage that was good. Too bad to end it so permanently especially since your children are so young and need their father in their life. Try to convince your long-suffering wife that you will continue the commitment not to drink for one whole year, that you can show her a different side of yourself. Each week/month that goes by you will be stronger and her trust will grow.

Give it a shot as you have nothing to lose. Even if she insists on divorce you will still be in your children's lives and you can still show them you are sober and ready to be a good father - and who knows what the future will bring for your family. Keep close to MWO.

[COSGringo]

Is Alcoholism incurable disease?

Yuck, God bless you. Hang in there. You are obviously strong since you are abstaining through this. It can only get better at some point, right?
Divorce is painful. I can't imagine how tough it is with kids just don't let it break you. If it's not going to be smooth you really have to keep straight. I hate to even be saying this but I've seen it too much.
You don't want something to be used against you and people you think you know can do so many hurtful things.
Just like space started saying at the end. Now more than ever you have to keep it together and not just for you. For your kids.
Hang in there and let us know.

[Kradle123]

Is Alcoholism incurable disease?

:goodjob: AKA:

You should be so very proud for 3 months! I have alomost a week . I know how hard it is. I dont mean to presume. I am a bit of pragmatist though. have you considered that after all this time your wife may be with someone? If this is true than perhaps your focus needs to be your sobriety first and then your children. You may want to consider a lawyer.
I am not a lawyer I have just been through several divroces with friends and I know that inaction always is their worst enemy.

Anyway, forgive me if I overstep here.
I am only wishing you the best and of course plese stay close here. You have alot of support,

Hugs,

:l

[spacebebe01]

Is Alcoholism incurable disease?

Kradle!!!! thats a bit harsh isnt it, bloody hell we are here to help people not make them feel 10 times worse. You have no knowledge of AKA's situation and yet think its ok to suggest his wife is having an affair.

AKA, most of us are here to try and help and support each other in a compasionate way, please come back and post again and dont take Kradles ideas to heart some people just always think the worst of others no matter what.