To all those who have read my past two posts - thanks for the support. I am pleased to announce that I have some good news about the possible benefits of good, high quality spicy food - it will turn your life around!
I think things may be about to become a lot easier. The night that I posted my resolution on MWO I also scanned the net and all the available employment sites for another suitable part-time/casual position.
This is as my current job (working at Hungry Jacks, serving drunken morons (such as myself) on clean-up shifts) is not exactly conducive to sobriety. The fact of the matter is that I cannot work there as to get there on time each day I would have to live with my girl friend whose influence is not exactly healthy either.
So, to get to the point, I have been invited in for a job interview at a fancy Indian restaurant in the heart of the city, on Rundle St. no less, which for your information, is adjacent to the bus stop which takes me to and from my father's. Maybe this Indian manufacturer of delectable food products will enable me to flush out all those dastardly toxins that are lurking, not so inconspicuously, throughout my system?
If I can pull this off and present myself as a decent, hard-working, reliable and constructive member of society on Friday, my plan, aforementioned above, will be put swiftly into action. Hmmm ? if only I looked more Indian (says I, sitting comfortably behind my equally Caucasian white computer screen, with my big blue eyes). Actually, I?ve often wished that I had a different heritage ? my pale-peachy English skin infuriates me no end in the land of sun and surf.
P.S ? Tonight is Wednesday night here in Aus; the night on which my favourite bar has it?s free male strippers performing? not that I go there for the men. Any who, I am at home. I have read. I have watched House and the Simpson?s and Medium. I have conversed with my mother and my sister.
I have not had anything to drink.
I am also NOT at Mars (the follow-up bar), getting blind drunk, popping pills and then floating back to my girl-friend?s place where we would undoubtedly consume more drugs. And furthermore, today is the day I get paid?
The money is sitting safely in my account and is largely untouched. I even paid back a few debts. And wait for it, wait for it? I haven?t even bought another packet of cigarettes. Today is Lent isn?t it? Damn it. I was purposely going to avoid giving up any of my addictions today simply because of its religious significance?
I haven?t had many pleasant experiences with Christians?( this may be due to my deviant, unnatural and sacrilegious homosexual lifestyle? shhhh) but I?m sure there are many out there who truly embrace their Christian values instead of using their religion as a weapon; wielding the power to judge, condemn and alienate. I would love to meet some. Australia is largely a secular society so the few Christians one does meet tend to be more on the ?extremist? side.
For example, on our most popular soap operas (Neighbours), one character came home after a long absence (due to mental illness) and insisted on saying grace before beginning the family meal. The family, understandably, sat there shocked and stunned but reluctantly agreed to go along with it. And this would be a typical reaction in the majority of Australian families.
It?s just interesting to point out the significant cultural differences between the U.S and Australia. As despite the fact that 99% of our viewing content comes from America, along with our fast food chains and clothing labels, we are two entirely different cultures; I don?t know a single person who has a gun. They?re simply not necessary. Australian farmers and hunters or ?recreational users? do have special permits but there really is little use for them in contemporary Australian society. Yet, despite all this I am dying to visit America and in particular, New York ? the new Paris of the art world.
Oh, and when our government, following in Bush?s blundering footsteps, brought in the ?Be Alert Not Alarmed? campaign, which urged Australian citizens to report suspicious activities, even those of their neighbour?s, millions of Australians sent those pre-packaged bundles of government propaganda back to Johnny Howard. We would not be brain washed into a state of constant fear so that the government could exercise more control over the lives of their civilians and bring in measures that seemed suspiciously similar to those of Big Brother, from the novel ?1984?.
And when a census was taken a few years back, many refused to hand over their personal details and put down ?Jedi? in the religion section of the form. It was a nation wide revolt against the government?s blatant intrusion into our personal lives.
There is no climate of fear here. This may be because we have not been directly attacked and it is not likely. We lived through the Bali bombings and mourned the losses of September 11th, but there was no country wide panic in response to the threat of terrorism. This may be because Australia is too small and insignificant a country to warrant any attention from terrorist groups?anywhere. Our interference on the international scene had been minimal until Howard decided to send a few thousand into Afghanistan and Iraq. But, when those troops were sent in, thousands of protesters flocked to the streets and surrounded government buildings, creating a nation wide stir. And I can recall that as a result of that display of empathy and outrage at our government?s actions a representative from the Middle East appeared on television, thanking the citizens of Australia for their support, whilst stating that they understood that it was our government?s actions and wishes, not those of the general public, that were leading to the death?s of innocent civilians via ?collateral damage.?
However, now that we have stuck our noses in where they were not wanted, we may be facing a greater risk of terrorism because of our government?s actions to curb that very same threat. The Middle East is very much like an inflamed area; a rash ? and the more it gets scratched the more it will flare up.
Woops, I?ve gone off on a tangent. This happens. I find that I have so much rage within me that normally isn?t expressed. It just bubbles over sometimes. Sorry.
So, I think my mindset may have changed slightly thanks to this site, which I only happened to come across when I saw it advertised on MySpace. Who thought that anything good would ever come out of that?!
Hmmm ? even with all the chaos and the unstructured madness some things do occasionally fall into place at the right times, when they?re most needed.
The only thing that?s bothering me now is whether my three short years of drug and alcohol abuse have left any permanent, noticeable damage. Do people listen to me talk and hear a slurring of my words. Is my syntax just slightly off? Do I ramble or mutter? Is my demeanor one of an alcoholic or an excessive party-goer? Can my family members recall who I once was and compare the old innocent me to the used and degraded being that I am now?
I can still write fluently but I have noticed that I?ve developed a mild stutter, and that some of my words do come out meshed together occasionally. Eeep. Will these symptoms fade away once my alcohol use does? I assume that the shakes shall also pass? My manager was giving me a hard time about my shakes on my last shift = ( I simply told him that I had an anxiety disorder.
Would I perform better at university and impress my lecturers far more if I had not spent so much time trying to forget that my thoughts even existed?
At least if I stop now I can allow my brain to finish forming. It still has a bit of growing to do? I hope. I think that?s probably the main driving force behind my desire to stop hitting those bottles.
God, they should have laid bloody assault charges against me by now?
P.P.S - I apologise for the rant in the middle. It was not directed against the U.S. or it's actions, rather the actions of our Australia's own ineffectual government.
I think things may be about to become a lot easier. The night that I posted my resolution on MWO I also scanned the net and all the available employment sites for another suitable part-time/casual position.
This is as my current job (working at Hungry Jacks, serving drunken morons (such as myself) on clean-up shifts) is not exactly conducive to sobriety. The fact of the matter is that I cannot work there as to get there on time each day I would have to live with my girl friend whose influence is not exactly healthy either.
So, to get to the point, I have been invited in for a job interview at a fancy Indian restaurant in the heart of the city, on Rundle St. no less, which for your information, is adjacent to the bus stop which takes me to and from my father's. Maybe this Indian manufacturer of delectable food products will enable me to flush out all those dastardly toxins that are lurking, not so inconspicuously, throughout my system?
If I can pull this off and present myself as a decent, hard-working, reliable and constructive member of society on Friday, my plan, aforementioned above, will be put swiftly into action. Hmmm ? if only I looked more Indian (says I, sitting comfortably behind my equally Caucasian white computer screen, with my big blue eyes). Actually, I?ve often wished that I had a different heritage ? my pale-peachy English skin infuriates me no end in the land of sun and surf.
P.S ? Tonight is Wednesday night here in Aus; the night on which my favourite bar has it?s free male strippers performing? not that I go there for the men. Any who, I am at home. I have read. I have watched House and the Simpson?s and Medium. I have conversed with my mother and my sister.
I have not had anything to drink.
I am also NOT at Mars (the follow-up bar), getting blind drunk, popping pills and then floating back to my girl-friend?s place where we would undoubtedly consume more drugs. And furthermore, today is the day I get paid?
The money is sitting safely in my account and is largely untouched. I even paid back a few debts. And wait for it, wait for it? I haven?t even bought another packet of cigarettes. Today is Lent isn?t it? Damn it. I was purposely going to avoid giving up any of my addictions today simply because of its religious significance?
I haven?t had many pleasant experiences with Christians?( this may be due to my deviant, unnatural and sacrilegious homosexual lifestyle? shhhh) but I?m sure there are many out there who truly embrace their Christian values instead of using their religion as a weapon; wielding the power to judge, condemn and alienate. I would love to meet some. Australia is largely a secular society so the few Christians one does meet tend to be more on the ?extremist? side.
For example, on our most popular soap operas (Neighbours), one character came home after a long absence (due to mental illness) and insisted on saying grace before beginning the family meal. The family, understandably, sat there shocked and stunned but reluctantly agreed to go along with it. And this would be a typical reaction in the majority of Australian families.
It?s just interesting to point out the significant cultural differences between the U.S and Australia. As despite the fact that 99% of our viewing content comes from America, along with our fast food chains and clothing labels, we are two entirely different cultures; I don?t know a single person who has a gun. They?re simply not necessary. Australian farmers and hunters or ?recreational users? do have special permits but there really is little use for them in contemporary Australian society. Yet, despite all this I am dying to visit America and in particular, New York ? the new Paris of the art world.
Oh, and when our government, following in Bush?s blundering footsteps, brought in the ?Be Alert Not Alarmed? campaign, which urged Australian citizens to report suspicious activities, even those of their neighbour?s, millions of Australians sent those pre-packaged bundles of government propaganda back to Johnny Howard. We would not be brain washed into a state of constant fear so that the government could exercise more control over the lives of their civilians and bring in measures that seemed suspiciously similar to those of Big Brother, from the novel ?1984?.
And when a census was taken a few years back, many refused to hand over their personal details and put down ?Jedi? in the religion section of the form. It was a nation wide revolt against the government?s blatant intrusion into our personal lives.
There is no climate of fear here. This may be because we have not been directly attacked and it is not likely. We lived through the Bali bombings and mourned the losses of September 11th, but there was no country wide panic in response to the threat of terrorism. This may be because Australia is too small and insignificant a country to warrant any attention from terrorist groups?anywhere. Our interference on the international scene had been minimal until Howard decided to send a few thousand into Afghanistan and Iraq. But, when those troops were sent in, thousands of protesters flocked to the streets and surrounded government buildings, creating a nation wide stir. And I can recall that as a result of that display of empathy and outrage at our government?s actions a representative from the Middle East appeared on television, thanking the citizens of Australia for their support, whilst stating that they understood that it was our government?s actions and wishes, not those of the general public, that were leading to the death?s of innocent civilians via ?collateral damage.?
However, now that we have stuck our noses in where they were not wanted, we may be facing a greater risk of terrorism because of our government?s actions to curb that very same threat. The Middle East is very much like an inflamed area; a rash ? and the more it gets scratched the more it will flare up.
Woops, I?ve gone off on a tangent. This happens. I find that I have so much rage within me that normally isn?t expressed. It just bubbles over sometimes. Sorry.
So, I think my mindset may have changed slightly thanks to this site, which I only happened to come across when I saw it advertised on MySpace. Who thought that anything good would ever come out of that?!
Hmmm ? even with all the chaos and the unstructured madness some things do occasionally fall into place at the right times, when they?re most needed.
The only thing that?s bothering me now is whether my three short years of drug and alcohol abuse have left any permanent, noticeable damage. Do people listen to me talk and hear a slurring of my words. Is my syntax just slightly off? Do I ramble or mutter? Is my demeanor one of an alcoholic or an excessive party-goer? Can my family members recall who I once was and compare the old innocent me to the used and degraded being that I am now?
I can still write fluently but I have noticed that I?ve developed a mild stutter, and that some of my words do come out meshed together occasionally. Eeep. Will these symptoms fade away once my alcohol use does? I assume that the shakes shall also pass? My manager was giving me a hard time about my shakes on my last shift = ( I simply told him that I had an anxiety disorder.
Would I perform better at university and impress my lecturers far more if I had not spent so much time trying to forget that my thoughts even existed?
At least if I stop now I can allow my brain to finish forming. It still has a bit of growing to do? I hope. I think that?s probably the main driving force behind my desire to stop hitting those bottles.
God, they should have laid bloody assault charges against me by now?
P.P.S - I apologise for the rant in the middle. It was not directed against the U.S. or it's actions, rather the actions of our Australia's own ineffectual government.
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