Something's Missing

[Audrey14]

Something's Missing

Hello LG!!!

I agree with everybody who says about "real activities". There are so many things to do in this world!
I started to drink to cure my pain after divorce, than other pain, anxiety and stress. No exitement. And no cure.

I have 7 AF and i love to wake up fresh and have my morning rituals with coffee, readings,prayers, music etc.
I finished book which i was not able because of AL, started new one, watching everynight movie from DVD shop. I don' t watch TV for approx 12 years..I'm not wierd (but maybe yes :H), i just was working, moving between 2 cities (job in one, family with small child in another), having additional studies etc. i started to read spiritual literature and i understood that TV is just "eating your real life", news always gives you negative energy etc. So, TV for me is a "furniture" as long as i' d like to watch some good movie.

Other activieties?? Try something new - there are many short courses for adults (you will not only get new ideas and skills but meet new people too !!!)

Best wishes!!!!
Audrey

[Audrey14]

Something's Missing

Just wanted to add about courses - they can be not traditional but for example "Painting on silk", "Ajurvedic massage" LOL Sorry, it' s probably from my perspective so you can find what suits you, of course you don; t have to force yourself.
Changing enviroment always helps even short travel.

[MWOLady]

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Yes, I'm glad this got started LibraryGirl, as what you described has been a problem for me too - what the heck do I do now? Drinking has been a part of my life for 40 long years.

Sometimes I just wander around the house, or stand looking out at the street. It's like I'm waiting for something to happen....weird. But it's also like mourning for a lost friend - a process you go through.

When my brother died last year I could not look at his picture without crying and I talked about him all the time with trembling lip and teary eye...now I can think about him with sadness but with more love than tears. I hope we all can mourn for the loss of our "friend" but never have to go through the pain again once it's DONE!!!!

[TheSunFlower]

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I have kids. So every AF day I get is exciting for me. It's the little moments that make me want to stay sober. The hell I was living was not exciting at all. Always looking forward to a drink.....day after day. The same thing everyday and getting horrible results.....now that is boring. Sometimes I look at us with drink issues and see what a boring life we lived....as others would see us. Only us saw the excitement in it. I see people with actual real exciting lives....and it makes me feel stupid and rather, boring

My friend went back to school 2 years ago and got her nursing degree. What do I have to show for the last 2 years...lots of empty beer bottles!

[MWOLady]

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Yes, I can relate to that too Flower...how boring drunks are!!!! We've got a neighbourhood party coming up over the holiday weekends (Canada and U.S.) and all my sweet neighbours will get sloshed and start getting really silly and tell boring stories over and over. I usually sneak away home!!

Trying to fill up that empty space with frenetic activity is not always the answer either. Some time to get physically healthy, sleep a lot, read, and just sit and think all have their place once we are sober. When the head is heavy and hurting, and the tummy uneasy - no time for anything but look for relief in more booze!! Now that's boring.

[LillyE]

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LG, do a class if you find one that really interests you - if not, I reckon it'll feel like a chore. I have read six books this month, which I love. Drinking makes me read far less. Exercise has also really been helping me. I may be stating the obvious, so forgive me if so, but you sound depressed. I hope that easses in time but in the meantime have you considered therapy? Something else that's been helpful for me. Just thoughts.

[Juja]

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Hi, all,

I haven't posted for awhile, but continue to struggle. Am back in on occasion.

Regardless, I'm on Day 3, and last night I was so bored I thought I would scream. I realized that had I been drinking I would have been scurrying around the house doing this and that, and getting lots of things done. I made myself start a book instead, and enjoyed it. I haven't read a book in quite awhile.

Lesson learned: Yes, I will get bored when not drinking, but I can find something to do, and something that will improve my mind instead of wasting it on AL.

Have a good day everyone.

[pixie]

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LG, count me as another person grateful that you could not delete this thread, as it has brought so much insight from others that are much further along in their sobriety than me. Lots of different perspectives too, so thank you!

I don't have nearly the amount of sober time that you have so I have no advice to give. I do think that we are similar in how we spend our time, and how we prefer to spend our time, so I understand your reactions to some of the suggestions.

This part may not apply to you - I believe I have chronic mild depression which does get worse a bit when I stop drinking. I think one of the reasons I drink is that it temporarily lifts the depression (it may be a serotonin thing, I'm not sure). It's hard for me to get interested in anything new, and I end up doing many of the same things I did while drinking (internet, TV), and they're more boring now, but I don't have the motivation to try anything else. Like I said this may not be you, but some of the things you said sounded so familiar, so I thought I'd share. I'm hoping that with time the brain chemicals obtain a better balance. It doesn't make it easy though!

[LibraryGirl]

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You're right Pixie. Exactly right about the depression and also about drinking lifting it, temporarily. It is good to know that I'm not alone in that. I don't know how long it takes for a person's brain to rewire itself, or if it's possible. I was mildly depressed before I started drinking heavily, so I think it's something in my chemistry, and not entirely caused by AL. The anxiety I was experiencing while drinking (afterwards), was definitely linked to AL, and I am very glad to be rid of that at least.

I keep saying I'm going to try another AD, something non SSRI, and I've done a little research. I've also considered taking natural supplements. However, every day goes by and I've still not done anything, lol. Some days are much easier than others and the depression is lifted, like today, and I think, oh I'm fine. Not sure how I'll remedy this, or if I will.

Thanks everyone for your suggestions.

[resrchqueen]

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LG...have you had your vitamin D levels checked ever.... I know that low levels of Vit D can cause some depression.... As you know I am on Celexa which has helped me a bit with the depression but a little less with anxiety. Anxiety for me is a bigger issue because then I tend to self-medicate... with the vino. I am trying hard to just not let the little things bug me but being in the menopause years its hard! I am doing better though!