I lost my will power some time ago and I cant find it anywhere.

[Zenlife12]

:new:Brand new with a strong desire to quit drinking. Still have half a bottle of Jack sitting on my counter, too early to drink, not even noon yet but its calling my name. I ordered antabuse on line a week ago because I know I'm not strong enough to do this on my own. Sould be another two weeks before I get it. Just looking for a little peace and I know it wont happen if I continue to drink the way I do. I have a good life and I'm on the verge of losing it. Haven't hit what you might call rock bottom but I pray to God I never get there.

[hart]

I lost my will power some time ago and I cant find it anywhere.

Hey Zen, glad you found us. I'm in WA myself. It is very hard to quit. What's your situation? Are you working? Do you have some structure in your day? I find days I am by myself the worst.

My situation is I work during the days M-F so I don't have any trouble staying sober until I get home. Then if my hubby is working some days I am fine. If he is home and drinking that's when I have trouble. You see he drinks as well and if it is in the house I fold.

You need to throw that half bottle away. Even with Antabuse if you have alcohol in the house it will call to you.....especially in the beginning.

Get to know people here, they can be a real resource. Also, you can go in the chatroom. I'm at work now or I'd go in there but sometimes people will go there, especially in the later hours.

Hang in there hon.:l:welcome:

[spacebebe01]

I lost my will power some time ago and I cant find it anywhere.

Hi Zen, welcome to MWO,

You have done the right thing coming on here and will get the help and support you need. I see that you ordered antabuse on line so you must have been thinking about this before today.

Really its up to you what to do next what do you want to do, there are lots of different ways peeps on here get their lives back together so I would say read around and try to either cut down or not drink, whichever you can, if you have been drinking a lot for a while you may need medical help to stop, in which case just try and slow down until you get it.

Try to drink plenty of non al drinks and water if you can, and eat some food. Take it easy on yourself for the next few days.

[Mootsbill]

I lost my will power some time ago and I cant find it anywhere.

Hi Zen, how did it go in the end, I'm new here and trying to quit the drink, I have been through all levels of drinking from social to morning to bingeing to controlled. One thing I am certain of is I know I need to quit completely but have never managed it. I do weeks at a time and when carrying my children didn't drink at all.
When I'm hungover I find the need to drink unbearable and nearly always give in, some of the things I've done makes my hair stand in end.
I agree with Hart, days with no structure are the most difficult. Try and go out, see friends, family if you can. If not immerse yourself in reading about addictions, I'm trying to see it as an illness which I need to manage like asthma for example.
Be strong

[Zenlife12]

I lost my will power some time ago and I cant find it anywhere.

Thanks for the quick responses, have a feeling I'll be on here a lot for a while, I get very anxious and uneasy when I put the bottle down for a few days, in my mind its the only way to get relief at least legally. When I drink I dont want the world to see me, because I dont think that they'll understand. Everyone thinks Im pretty well adjusted and normal, and just when I think I am, I'm right back in my dark mode of self destruction doesnt make any sense to me.. little scary, but I want what some of the people here have just not sure how? I also have a significant other who drinks, but he doesnt understand why I cant stop once I start, I dont either? We just have a different chemical make up. Right now Im sitting at home by my self and I thought I could resist the bottle but I couldnt. I have obligations that I already know I wont make, gotta come up with some crazy new ailment thats believable, I think most of you know the routine, sucks and again I let everyone down, praying for a fast delivery of my antabuse.Sorry I'll log on tomorrow. too late today.. Hart, I live in Marysville I'm 42 and my girls are out of the house, I started drinking heavely after my divorce and they moved out, life is definately not the party it was a few years back.. I've read so much on here and I want to be a part of it, just cant right now,,,God Damn Jack!!

[A.J.]

I lost my will power some time ago and I cant find it anywhere.

Zen, dont be so hard on yourself. I'm new here too and have a whole2 3/4 days under my belt !
Sounds like you could be my twin. There are so many great fourms & people on here. Stop by ,one day at a time fourm, thats where I go alot . I'm still finding my way around here and cotinue in this one as well, even if you can't do 'IT" Right now keep comeing back.
Dam that Jack & Mister J. Walker, & that Cptn. Morgan, That Gray goose that I used to think was so cute The're all liars. I wish you the best

[Byrdlady]

I lost my will power some time ago and I cant find it anywhere.

Hey all! I would welcome you to come visit the Newbie's Nest! We have a 30 day Boot Camp going with varying numbers of days going. We are having great success over there, please stop by and introduce yourself, or just lurk if you want. The first days are the hardest, for sure. Welcome!! Byrdie

[Pinecone]

I lost my will power some time ago and I cant find it anywhere.

Hi Zenlife,

I'm glad you made it here. Alot of what you posted sounds very familiar to me. Please stick around for a while. I think you will eventually see the relationship between drinking and anxiety (it is pretty counterintuitive).

I also know what you mean about us having a different chemical makeup. The "regular" people can sit there and slowly nurse one drink for two hours. Our minds would be screaming and scheming ways to get more and more quickly.

If someone told me about the amount of peace I could have in my life when I quit drinking, I wouldn't have believed it. I have never, ever, ever once regretted quitting.

You might find this thread helpful: https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

Also the concepts of "urge surfing," "witching hour," and "euphoric recall" were pivotal for me to get my head wrapped around what was going on and what to do about it. :welcome:

[MWOLady]

I lost my will power some time ago and I cant find it anywhere.

Welcome Zen! We've all been where you are, some of us many times too. I folded just last night so I'm back to square one today. But having this place to come to is so comforting because everyone here knows just what I'm going through.

Many of us look "normal" just as you described and if people knew that we were screaming inside they'd be shocked!! I feel that way too lots of times. We've just got to find a way to calm ourselves that doesn't result in such self destructive behaviour. Please stick around and let's help each other.

[Audrey14]

I lost my will power some time ago and I cant find it anywhere.

Hi Zenlife!!!

Some parts of your storie reminds very of me - drinking after divorce, self-destruction, looking and trying to be normal - i can play this role very well etc.
I'm 46 now and heavily i started to drink yes 4 years ago, so your age..i still think that it' s miracle or God loves me or i'm crazy stubborn that i'm alive and functionable and still look quite ok..
Stay close to this community and take care my dear!!!!

A

[Zenlife12]

I lost my will power some time ago and I cant find it anywhere.

thanks I slept off the alcolhol and I'm dead serious about quiting, I willing to listen to anyone whos quit successfully.

[Zenlife12]

I lost my will power some time ago and I cant find it anywhere.

Thank-you I see that most of you have a lot of time sober, so your doing something right.

[Kradle123]

I lost my will power some time ago and I cant find it anywhere.

Hey Zen:
:welcome:

I am in Port Orchard, moved over from Federal Way. Just turned 50 with twins and a 13 year old. Still married but we'll see...

You are in a very safe place here. I joined awhile ago but let opportunity slip by. I'm moving along slowly, I use the program: Book, CD's, supp's, topamax, I juice and stay on MWO as much as I can. These are my people. You're right. People out there will not understand us. And that's Okay. For the first time for me, that is an Okay thing.

Stay Close. Newbie Nest and tool Box are great Starts. Also the Thread :What I hate, Loath about drinking. I read that ALOT...

Hugs,

[Zenlife12]

I lost my will power some time ago and I cant find it anywhere.

Good morning all. Day one! I thank everyone for the kind words. I think I'll be on here quite a bit for a while at least. I disposed of every last bit of alcolhol in my house and begged my boyfriend not to bring any around me for a while, at least until I get my dose of antabuse. I feel very dedicated right now but reading though all the stories, I'm sure I'll have some weak moments. You all are very inspiring, you make me want to deal with life sober, Thank-you I hope once and for all to have the Zen life I try to portray to the public.

[Zenlife12]

I lost my will power some time ago and I cant find it anywhere.

Thanks for the tips, I've been reading everything one here, could easily become my new addiction. I really belong here. Sounds like you have your hands full, good luck in your journey.