Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

[Liath]

Hey all--

I was just reading parts of "Drinking, a love story" last night and was amazed by the lengths the author would go through to hide her drinking... but then she would blow it by slurring and passing out! Crazy!

But then I remembered that I began to drink at home so I would not have to deal with any judgement.. And I am most ashamed of the fact that, when visiting my boyfriend, I would sneak a quick vodka and OJ in the morning while he was in the shower for godsakes, JUST because I was hung over, to ease the pain of course. But then if he went out for a couple hours and I was alone.. I would do it again.. or a few sips out of that box of wine. If he even suspected, let alone knew, I would be humiliated.

If anyone else wants to share their dark drinking on the sly stories.. am all ears.

DAY 5 AF, thanks to AA! :h

[LibraryGirl]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

I read that book, and I don't even really remember her hiding it. Seemed like all her friends were heavy drinkers too. Maybe from the bf at one point. Is that the part?

I never hid my drinking. Well, I quit going out for years, to bars. Occasionally I went to friend's houses and drank (a lot), but usually they were doing the same thing. I guess I hid it in that I never admitted to anyone outside of my bf(s), that I drank every night.

[Liath]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

LibraryGirl-

I never used to hide my drinking either since I grew up in an alcoholic household and made friends only with other heavy drinkers right out the the gate. But now I am a 35 year old professional in a new city with few friends, and things changed.

In the book, she is constantly hiding her drinking. She carries a big bottle of scotch with her when visiting her parents.. she takes giant slugs out of it multiple times a night. Sometimes she would keep the bottle in her car. She kept tiny bottles of Hennessy in her bathrobe pockets toward the end. She drank every night alone at home and was bent on hiding that too. She drank both overtly and covertly, LOL.

I didn't hide it until I moved in with my ex 4 years ago.. then I realized that what I was up to might not be acceptable to him, i.e., boozing in the morning after a bender.

Oh well, those days are over! Yes!

[LibraryGirl]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

I do remember that now! And no, I didn't read it drunk, lol. Fortunately, I never got to the point that I was drinking "on the sly". I just was miserable in those situtations you mention and thought I had to live through it, lol. Never occured to me to drink in the morning, or to bring AL along to deal with difficult situations (i.e., the parents, etc.).

[unknownndoll]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

I am on day 1 again today, I hide my drinking, but I guess its pretty obvious that I have been drinking. I usually buy the smaller 350 ml bottles so I can sneak it in the house in my purse. It is embarrassing to admit to hiding and drinking all the time. I have been trying to quit but haven't got passed a few days to a week before I fail and start drinking again. I have gotten to the point thats all I do is come home and drink until I go to bed, and if I am off work I often drink and sleep all day. But, here I am trying once again to fix this.

[LibraryGirl]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

Welcome unknowndoll.:welcome: You will find many similar stories to your own on MWO. The thinking is, it takes 30 days to overcome a habit, and there is now a "bootcamp" in the Newbie's Nest consisting of a number of people who are marking their daily progress. You are invited, and always welcome to join!

[Byrdlady]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

I hid it. Like Unknown, I'd buy the Liter Boxes of wine...When I went to the grocery store, I'd put one in my purse, and then arrange the grocery bags so that the remaining boxes would be in the first bags I carried up. Then when hubs would go out to bring them in, I'd hide them in my closet in my shoe rack and empty purses in my closet. I also threw away the receipt at the store so he wouldn't see it on there. I hid the empties in an ottoman in my office and made sure I had lots of crap on top so no one would open it. I would empty it whenever I knew he'd be away for a while. At one point I had 37 empty boxes to get rid of. I was horrified at myself. But that didn't stop me. I hid wine in a hairspray bottle I kept in my purse for emergencies. We went on a cruise once and I hid vodka in hairspray bottles and big lotion bottles. It tasted funny, yes, but it didn't matter. Dam...how sad is that. When hubs would go downstairs for any reason, I'd pour a big mug of wine and gulp it all down before he got back. I always carried tiny bottles of vodka when traveling. I'd down a couple in the bathroom. My purse was quite a hiding place. I would have been mortified if anyone had ever gone thru it and found them....AND the empties. I also flew thru certain airports because of a wine shop I could stop and buy a couple bottles between flights.
I am so glad to be rid of all those secrets....it really is a huge weight lifted off. Freedom from that hell. B

[Liath]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

Welcome Unknownndoll! I was doing the same thing you were describing. But I live alone so I guess I was hiding the bottles from my neighbors (pathetic). When I first found MWO, I tried to do 30 days and only made it about 20. Before you know it, I was off to the races again. It is nice to have online support but I find the only thing that works for me is physical interactions with other recovering alcoholics... yep, I am talking about AA. If anyone else can do it another way, great! But I can't moderate and can't stay sober permanently without it. I joined MWO in 2009, fell away, ended up doing an outpatient detox and AA in 2011, fell away... and drank for a whole year after that. Now I am saying ENOUGH. Whatever it takes.. I wish I would have done it sooner!

We are here to help, whatever you need!

[Liath]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

Byrd- Great! It is a weight off my shoulders as well. I never thought I would admit to sneaking drinks around my man. Every time I visited I would promise myself I would not do it. Then I would.. by the second or third day.

[unknownndoll]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

Byrdlady;1347568 wrote: I hid it. Like Unknown, I'd buy the Liter Boxes of wine...When I went to the grocery store, I'd put one in my purse, and then arrange the grocery bags so that the remaining boxes would be in the first bags I carried up. Then when hubs would go out to bring them in, I'd hide them in my closet in my shoe rack and empty purses in my closet. I also threw away the receipt at the store so he wouldn't see it on there. I hid the empties in an ottoman in my office and made sure I had lots of crap on top so no one would open it. I would empty it whenever I knew he'd be away for a while. At one point I had 37 empty boxes to get rid of. I was horrified at myself. But that didn't stop me. I hid wine in a hairspray bottle I kept in my purse for emergencies. We went on a cruise once and I hid vodka in hairspray bottles and big lotion bottles. It tasted funny, yes, but it didn't matter. Dam...how sad is that. When hubs would go downstairs for any reason, I'd pour a big mug of wine and gulp it all down before he got back. I always carried tiny bottles of vodka when traveling. I'd down a couple in the bathroom. My purse was quite a hiding place. I would have been mortified if anyone had ever gone thru it and found them....AND the empties. I also flew thru certain airports because of a wine shop I could stop and buy a couple bottles between flights.
I am so glad to be rid of all those secrets....it really is a huge weight lifted off. Freedom from that hell. B

I too hide it in the bathroom & closet!! I didn't want to admit it, but now I don't feel so ashamed!! I thought I was the only one stooping this low! I sit in there and drink, spike anything I can before entering the house, even try to use "clear" flavored drinks to try to make it look like water. OMG, I am pathetic!!

[meggie]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

The hiding is something that I am also doing now. I hid it in my jewerly box, shower, whatever. Also, now I go buy 2, one and half liters of gin, I don't want the people at the store to see me too often. I going through one bottle a week. I need to stop this.

[Kradle123]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

Back when I was drinking 400 glasses of wine a night without any problems, there was no hiding going on. Except from myself perhaps because I kept loosing the damn wine glass.

But when problems started poping up and divorce lawyers were contacted and an occasional police officer showed up at the door, it was time to move into stealth mode...

Which for me meant hiding in plain sight because hiding in closets and bathrooms meant I had a problem.. Hello!
So I just put the wine bottles in amongst the Christmas bottles and replaced as needed. Every year someone would buy us gross cheap wine and I'd stick it up on the fridge or the back loft and thus always had an accessible bottle of wine. As far as glasses go because I am a glas snob, I refused to put it in a mug or a plastic cup (too college) so I got super good at placing the glasses in the china cabinet- in amongst a dozen other empty, identical glasses or high up on a book shelf...nope. No problem here!

When I switched to rum and tonics it did get easier. For whatever reason no one seams to connect the rum in the tonic so I can march around with a seemingly harmless tonic and lime in the evening, getting slowly shitfaced. No one says anything. My kids, my husband. They all think I quit a year and a half ago (when my girl friend stopped drinking) ...I have no idea what this means. Probably something not good, I'm sure

I will admit though that for the last 2 years since my best friend got sober I have gone way down and I don't touch wine anymore at all...I have no idea why. I didn't even try to quit that. I just switched and that was that. But I am still 'hiding' in plain sight. Of course i am 21 days today and if I go back or try to moderate, I don't think I will though, I wouldn't do the ' hiding' anymore...not certain why. Just don't think I would spend that energy anymore.

Hope that helps,
Hugs,
:l

[meggie]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

what were you drinking when you quit and how long had you been drinking

[Liath]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

Hey Meggie-- I personally have been drinking since highschool and I am 35. I always drank alcoholically, but like many of us, I fit in in college, etc.. since everyone was doing it.. I stopped 5 days ago ONLY with the help of AA, and I am never going back to that dark place.

On my last 3 day bender, I only left the house to get a bottle of wine or a 6 pack. I went through a bottle and six pack in one day. I barely left my bed.. my life was falling apart around me. It was terrifying.

The worst was, getting up that last day, feeling like death, looking for a beer I thought I must have left in the car... finding it no where (I drank it of course).. getting another bottle and finishing it.. Meanwhile I had hardly eaten in 3 days.. I was a mess. I made the call. And now I am 5 days sober.

However, depending on your intake, quitting cold turkey, besides being impossible for some of us, can be dangerous...

How much would you say you are drinking a day?

[pixie]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

When we had recycling bins that were open (no cover), I would always put the bottles in the trash instead, so the neighbors would not see.

I rotated liquor stores, so the clerks would not see me too often (like they cared).

I would have two bottles of rum going - one that hubby and I used to make the rum and cokes, and the other hidden away that I would take shots out of, when he stepped out of the room.