Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

[lifechange]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

in the end i was sneaking around big time. i'd always used the fact that because i didn't hide al i wasn't an alcoholic. i would guess it was a year or so that i was doing this.
the worst for me is that i did it at work. i am a chef --as in cook-- and we had a case of vodka in the cellar left over from a party. nobody paid attention or cared about this--but i would go down with an empty jar, fill it up and put it in the fridge in the kitchen. then i'd pour some in a glass, add a bit of oj and carry on. when the jar was empty, i'd head back down for more, getting loopier all the while. i always thought if they caught me, i'd pretend i was gooing to use it for some great sauce--or for pickling. which i WAS using it for in my poor body. how humiliating. at 3am i'd wake up imagining they had hidden cameras and would show me the videos upon firing me. UGHHH!!!!

[Liath]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

I guess we need to remember all of the sneaking around so we have a defense against our addict minds tell us that just one drink is OK and won't harm anyone. That is why they say, think through the drink.. My last harmless glass of wine set me out on a 3 day binge. I did not eat for those three days or leave the house except to go the the liquor store, twice a day! How sad!

But today I have 15 days--half a month! YES!

[Byrdlady]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

Liath, I'm so proud of you! Don't you feel a change in your thinking after 15 days? Like something just clicked. Remember from here to Day 30 is going to be a roller coaster...your emotions will be all over, but stay the course! You will never have 2 bad days in a row. You will be even more proud than you are now! AND you will feel better tip to toe. Holler out if you need us...we are all here for you. B

[DfromCT]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

Hey, Liath, congrats on day 15!! I'm at day 11, and this has been the toughest one yet. Between a lousy day at work and some ridiculous stress from other outside sources, I've been tempted a few times but have quickly changed my thoughts away from booze and toward some more healthy outlets.

Keep up the good work and good luck.

Dave

[Liath]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

Thanks Byrd! I am on track, thanks to daily meetings, etc.. I think I am ready to quit for good. Nothing good can come of me drinking... and I certainly know better than to say that it won't harm me! I am on day 17 and today I passed my PhD comprehensive exam! I am so happy, and I celebrated sober. This is something unheard of for me. I mean, come on... celebrate without champagne or wine, beer, etc.? That is something that worries me, but I got through this milestone sober!

:day4::bday2:

Dave-- Nice work! Bad days are especially hard to get through without my favorite escape. But the more days we string together, the better we will feel about our lives, good days and bad! Hope you are hanging in there.

[sunshinetoday]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

Way to go Liath. I found that doing some of the things I used to always do with alcohol, like celebrating, or vacationing, doing them without AL was what helped me transition in time. My brain finally understood that I can do all the things I used to do with AL, without, and still enjoy them, and remember them.

I was definitely a hider.
Vodka in the water bottle, wine in the car under the seat, bottles in the closet that I would nip into when I had to go to the bathroom. Yes, even once or twice at work in the bathroom. I always thought I was covering it up, yet again, I was only fooling myself. Hubs ALWAYS knew. He is not a drinker, and when I moved in with him, I told myself I was not going to change my drinking for him, so I just hid it. It made my whole life unbearable. Guilt, shame, emptiness, etc, being someone you at heart are not. Being here has helped me get sober, and start a family after I took care of my drinking. I call it my lifeline.

[Honeysoup]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

unknownndoll;1347561 wrote: I am on day 1 again today, I hide my drinking, but I guess its pretty obvious that I have been drinking. I usually buy the smaller 350 ml bottles so I can sneak it in the house in my purse. It is embarrassing to admit to hiding and drinking all the time. I have been trying to quit but haven't got passed a few days to a week before I fail and start drinking again. I have gotten to the point thats all I do is come home and drink until I go to bed, and if I am off work I often drink and sleep all day. But, here I am trying once again to fix this.

Oh wow...I just did that last night!

[joshongeva]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

I am on day 3 of being sober. Right now, I have 2 vodka bottles, a wine bottle and a brandy bottle stashed in various drawers in my bedroom. All are empty. My husband only rarely drinks so I hide the empties until there is an opportunity to throw them in the bottom of the trash can on trash day so they get picked up without him ever seeing them. I am so embarrassed that I have gotten to this point.

Last night was horrible. I knew I had no booze in the house, so I was totally on edge. Took 4 valerian/chamomile pills and went to bed, shaky and heart pounding all night. I laid in bed next to my sleeping husband and read a book on my iPod all night. I am exhausted but I survived and hopefully tonight will be a little easier.

[Alcoholic]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

Funny stories but I can definitely relate!!!

[bettygirl]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

oy, can i relate to all these stories! i would buy a big box of wine (i know, i know ewww) and stash it in "my" kitchen and when my husband and kid were out of sight, i would quickly fill a mason jar and down it in 15 seconds. about 8 of those a night, and i was pickled. those wine boxes were a revelation, i could hide them, they were quiet and collapsable!
i also ate raw garlic to hide the smell, and claimed i did for my health (i'm sure it did me some good, but not enough!!!)...no wonder i didn't get kissed very often!:H

man, what a waste of energy...i am glad to be able to be honest and not worried that my husband will find an errant receipt, or box...life is so much easier now.

[RunningCourage]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

Hey Bettygirl :welcome:

Lovely to meet you. Have you checked out the newbies nest yet?

Alco - thanks for bumping this thread, hadn't seen it. After 33 days AF, part of my wee brain forgot how I used to stash empty cans and bottles in a cupboard and then have to surreptitiously get them into my car to take to the recycling, so as my flatmates wouldn't see what i'd been consuming.

When i lived by myself, i used to be 'proud' of my bonnie lines of empty wine bottles that would skirt the skirting board of my kitchen. I was younger then. A little older now, and hopefully a little wiser, I see that that was nothing more than the grip of booze in my life really taking hold... dragging them student days' attitude to drinking into my professional life and thinking it the 'norm'.

More recently i have myself known, while visiting my folks for an evening, to slyly make myself a drink/s, or if not possible to cipher a quick slurp/s of something from the bottle (i cringe as i write as i hate to admit it). That was sometimes on top of the fact that i would deliberately take beer round to theirs each time i visited so as to make sure i had a stash...

RC

[bettygirl]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

running, i was actually a member here for years some time ago...only now have i been sober for some time and came back here to support my recovery. thanks for the welcome!
i remember in younger days displaying the empties like some kind of trophy...so classy!

[Caper]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

A long time ago, I knew an old guy who pretty much drank only at home; he was retired and had a lot of time on his hands. Problem was, his wife had had it with his drinking and she always managed to scout out every bottle he hid, no matter how creative he got in trying to hide them. Then, suddenly he was drunk all the time again and she couldn't figure out where he was hiding it. I think it was at her funeral that he confessed to his friends that he'd come home from the liquor store and pour the whole bottle of scotch into the garden hose!

[stumpy]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

lol I never had to hide my drinking as my husband was a lush as well. I was an in your face kind of wino. Never want to be there again.
Caper, nice to see you again,

[Caper]

Hiding our drinking--please weigh in!

Hey Stumpy. I don't post often but I have been following your progress. I sent you a "plant" on your "30th" day but I can't remember which thread it was on!
Anyway, I was shocked to see your new avatar. I was expecting something more like this:
Keep fighting the good fight! Attached files [img]/converted_files/1962779=7078-attachment.jpg[/img]