I did so well a whiole ago

[traveller]

Enough is enough..
I did so well over 1 month AF. I have sunk deeper into drinking and its destroying my life with my partner..Now I can get up at 3-4am and drink white wine, my choice of tipple, while my partner sleeps check emails FB etc.. So by the time its 8am and my partner calls for me I am drunk and trying to hide it. We have a good life and travel and enjoy restaurants but I just get too wasted evrywhere we go, we end up fighting and it gets physical.. I have missed work due to my drinking...My partner is on holidays for 1 month and said I have to change by the time he gets back or he is walking out, he can see no future living with me..I can totally see where he is coming from, I am not sure if I could tolerate living with a person that I have become..So enough is enough, I am setting a day to stop.....I have decided to go AF no moderation for me. Last time I went 1 month AF. On the 1 month anniversary we were flying from Sydney to Los Angeles and I had always said that thats when I would have my first drink as it also was my birthday,...Well on arrival in LA I had consumed 1 bottle of vodka, bought duty free, in flight and was so drunk that my partner wondered how I was even let into the country...sicne then its been back to drinking less week nights and pouring white wine in my mouth fir-sun...On mondays I have been so hungover that I had to go to the pub for couple of beers to make me feel better...Thats my short story....Enoughs enough who wanst to join me and start a new sober life?

[Daya]

I did so well a whiole ago

I'll join you traveller

You sound like you have a wonderful life that alcohol is destroying, not enhancing.
You've done one month, so you can do it again.
The moderating thing always gets me unstuck, the longest I have gone completely AF in about 7 years is 3 weeks
It's just soooo boring after a while, isn't it?
Good luck, and well do it together.

[Nelz]

I did so well a whiole ago

Ill sure walk with ya Trav........we can all use some support to fight this beast.


But I promise you, that if YOU want it....and want it BAD enough....you will do it

[traveller]

I did so well a whiole ago

How to decide on the DAY??

I am ready to tackle this...have a huge dinner party organised for tomorrow so dont think will be this weekend..I will set the day as 16 july!!!! Any hints or suggestions to make it through the first days?

[Arrii]

I did so well a whiole ago

Hi Traveller matey...i started yesterday too!! And i feel the same..whenever theres alcohol envolved in social situations its always me that consumes too much, cant remember what happened..then have to hide my head in shame for ages after Nothing worse that waking in bed, fully clothed..no idea how u got there, waking up still raging drunk...bloody awful..that happened to me yesterday morning and ive just had it! Im only 32 ive got the rest of my life to enjoy with my family and im not going to spend it drunk or showing myself up anymore. Im lucky my husband has been brilliant these past 7 yrs but if i continue he will lose respect and it will eventually break us up...no doubt about it. My only tip is to keep checking back here, i joined yesterday and to see other ppl in the same situation all fighting to do the same thing and knowing im not on my own anymore and can actually be honest without the shame id feel talking to a good friend is going to be a huge help! x

[traveller]

I did so well a whiole ago

16 july is the day!!!

Thanks all..Arrial....do it with me on Monday..i am sure i will have a big bender this weekend but Monday is the day...I really really really must do this I am 46 and will not have a future without doing this..i will do a day to day write up and if that helps somebody else it will also help me..i have realised alcohol that i have used it since being 16-18 and more and more the older i have gotten..i need to concur my fear of being without this poison...i hate myself when i drink because i just guzzle it down like water and must look like a teenager at a binge drinking party..i hav been at this party for 30 years time to stop and go home...i know i will miss the illusional highs it gives me...but i want to enjoy the highs from LIFE with a drug..i used to take party drugs in my younger days but always liked my AL more..i hope I can finally grow up and become a
"normal" person..i felt good when AL free and I miss that feeling..i want to surprise my partner when he returns home in 2 weeks and I say I havent drunk for 2 weekS and want to keep going and ask him for emotional support..AL gives you a fake and irrational reality I dont want to need that to feel real...there must be more than bottles to wine tO feel OK...i know this weekend will be wild but come Monday please please I want to go to bed without a drink in my gut...this is all I can say for now but I HAVe made the decision of stopping this insanity of having this poison controlling me anylonger come 16 July 2012...xx

[Arrii]

I did so well a whiole ago

Hi matey, i would def get the weekend out the road first, no point in saying that you wont have a few as i know myself i would Least on Monday u can start afresh and be ready to go with it. Im now on day 2, and im a wee bitty proud of myself, went to the supermarket bought what was needed and walked out without my bottle of vino thats usually put in with my shopping. And i didnt feel too stressed, not to say this time next week or even saturday night i wont be climbing the walls!!!
I look at my family...not my mum as shes always drank and i look at my mates and wish i was like them, not needing to have to sit and drink that crap, just to relax and enjoy my night. Worst thing i was T-Total from 18 - 25 yrs of age, bar the very odd night out and on those nights a couple of beers. Hated drink, saw too much with my mum and the choas that came with her carrying on when she was drunk. Yeah i drank when i was 16 -18 like other teens but then that just tapered off. After my 3rd child i ended up with PND for 2 yrs, the docs now think it was psychosis as i was to be honest completley off my head and was informed when pregnant with my last child they really should have sectioned me lol. Anyway the drink started then as it was the only way to feel normal a couple of times a week. Well i wouldnt say normal more calmish. My marriage was really bad back then, violence, him flirting about with other girls, its only the past few yrs hes had help and it all stemmed back from a very bad childhood. but anyway thats sorted with him. Because of his behaviour i drank, and ended up after the depression going with a F you attitude towards him and so drank more, went out cheated on him, would break up with him then have a boyfriend, then we'd get back together and that happened a few times. In my head it was fine i was having a laugh, me and him were living as strangers who hated each other and thsi went on for around 2 yrs. I look back and cannot believe that that person was me...i was never that hard necked person that i became before...and i certainly am not now! well anyway for 3 yrs we have for some reason turned the whole mess around, and are best friends, with no violence no one messing about. Just a determined team to do well and have a happy family....the only thing ruining this is the fact that yes i have a great content life with 4 lovely children and a husband who loves me and is very supportive but i cant get rid of a habit that i certainly dont need anymore that i only used to make me feel happy before. I have no need for it, except its just a shitty habit that im struggling to get rid of! There is no need for me to be using it, i dont need that crutch anymore. do get bloody annoyed after waking up the next day and knowing ive been a right twat the night before. Yesterday morning was the kick in the arse i needed matey, waking up still hammered, hanging over the toilet, repeating oh god oh god oh god! I never want to feel or be that person again. I was beyond disgusted with myself!

[mario]

I did so well a whiole ago

Traveller we have all been or are down the same road as you,Getting ready to change your life as that is what your doing,is hard work with lots of bumps and dips in the road ahead,Like all journeys you need to plan ahead,Keep posting and reading here as much as you can,Share your feelings and what your going through as you are not alone in this fight,Good luck and remember nothing changes if nothing changes.