10% reduction technique

[mauritiusdodo]

10% reduction technique

I am glad to be of amusement to you all :H I try my best to make light of my situation even when I am in the depths of despair - one of my granny's old sayings (and she had many) springs to mind

Smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone - although this is never true whilst I have all you lovely people on this forum because of the unfaltering support

Texas I am so pleased you have found inspiration in my posts, I am far from being content with being AF though, and the prospect of weekends and holidays AF scares me to death, I am just trying to get by day by day and hoping some of what I am reading/hearing sinks in and my mindset changes for the better for ever!

Actually I am really struggling this evening, almost bought wine on the way back from my friends and still urge surfing...

[mauritiusdodo]

10% reduction technique

In bed 9.15pm, sober but very p*ssed off Dh is quite obviously hacked off at me for going to bed so early but I am so bored I don't see any point staying up I know I am being a spoilt b*tch and sulking but I wanted a drink so badly tonight and I can't snap out of my bad moodthe main problem I am having at the moment is that despite not drinking I can't summon up any enthusiasm to do anything else I did a Henna design on my hand earlier but only because I have the charity event in Friday and I need to showcase my work I have loads of things I could be doing but I just can't be arsed! My life is s pile of poo at the moment and I hate it!

[Byrdlady]

10% reduction technique

Mauri...try to leave the pity party! You got thru the day, that's what counts!! I found when I had a day that I felt like EVERYONE else could drink and drink and never have a consequence...I had to get myself out of that hole. Try to think about what good you are doing for yourself by not dousing yourself with AL. Each day you put between you and it is a win...until eventually, you won't have these hard times. It's not going to get easier next time...just get yourself thru it. Fill the time you have now doing something nice for someone else. Bake some cupcakes and take them to a neighbor, or write someone a note on paper. Take the dog to a nursing home and see how happy you can make someone else (without the aid, or crutch) of AL. The only way to never have to do this again is to get thru it. Once and for all...B

[lolab]

10% reduction technique

I think you are being too hard on yourself....expecting changes way too soon. You can't stop doing something addictive that you've been doing for a looooong time , and expect to just immediately be "fixed"...

don't worry that you're going to bed early - don't worry that you SHOULD be doing other things. What you ARE doing is staying sober. And it takes ALOT of energy. And you should be VERY proud of yourself! This is what's most important, right? Don't lose sight of the big picture, ok? It's hard...nobody's denying that - just keep reaching out - you're getting to another breaking point and when you make it through, you'll be onto the next level -and be so proud....and closer to getting rid of these anxious feelings. We've all been there....:l

[jenniech]

10% reduction technique

I was having one he'll of a self pity party this afternoon at work.....I was so so close to giving in....but I plowed through....did not cook as that is my major trigger aside from the big stresses at work and I am asstounded with myself....I didnt cave!!!! Let's give each other a pat on the back mauri!!!! And I too am in bed at 9pm....better here then looking at the bottom of a bottle...I am told all of these horrendous feelings are short term and they say it will get better so I am putting all of my faith in that

[Supercrew]

10% reduction technique

mauritiusdodo;1361695 wrote: In bed 9.15pm, sober but very p*ssed off Dh is quite obviously hacked off at me for going to bed so early but I am so bored I don't see any point staying up I know I am being a spoilt b*tch and sulking but I wanted a drink so badly tonight and I can't snap out of my bad moodthe main problem I am having at the moment is that despite not drinking I can't summon up any enthusiasm to do anything else I did a Henna design on my hand earlier but only because I have the charity event in Friday and I need to showcase my work I have loads of things I could be doing but I just can't be arsed! My life is s pile of poo at the moment and I hate it!

I know you are in bed now Mauri, but when you read this aske yourself a question.

What is different today than yesterday, or 2 days ago or on a day that you weren't struggling to be sober?

When I reflect on the tough days that I had in the beginning I realize nothing on any of those days was much different than the other days. Yes there might have been a little more stress, or a situation arose that made me uncomfortable, but the reality was a couple of hours later or a couple of days later and no matter what a couple of weeks later the problems and stress I thought I had were really nothing at all. In fact I normally couldn't remember what set me off to begin with.

What I am trying to say is if you want to drink you can always go buy a bottle. It won't ever help you, you will regret it, and it will never make you feel good again drinking it. So when you have issues and stress in your life don't blame it on your decision to be sober. Be thankful that you are sober instead of the chemically changed person you used to be.

As far as you worry about holidays and parties in the future, live in the moment, because nothing you can do or think about now are going to heighten or lessen those situations later.

It's strange because sobriety is a choice we get to make, yet many people here treat it like it's some kind of torture. Remember you can always drink if you want to, you just choose not to because drinking makes you feel like crap and was ruining your life. We all have bad days, but don't let yourself believe that being sober caused it or drinking would help change it.

[mauritiusdodo]

10% reduction technique

Morning everyone and thank you for all your posts, will reply later as my son is pestering me for the laptop!

[jenniech]

10% reduction technique

Wow super crew.....that was really powerful for me...thanks
Will copy and paste it to my journal so I can refer to it:thanks:

[mauritiusdodo]

10% reduction technique

Another slip on Thursday, I think I am aiming towards moderation at the moment rather than total abstinence as I am really struggling with the idea that I 'can't' have any at all, I am feeling positive about my ability to control as I easily didn't drink last night, I am going to try my very best to have as many AF days as possible, I had a call from On-trak yesterday to say I will be allocated a key worker in the next couple of weeks and then should be able to start my counselling so hoping they will be able to give me some more tools to cope with.

[Byrdlady]

10% reduction technique

Mauri...just curious as to your mindset.....
Haven't you tried moderation in the past? Isn't that really what we've all tried to do before finally realizing that we can't? What has changed to make you think that moderation is the answer? B

[Supercrew]

10% reduction technique

Mauri, your problem lies with your focus of "not being able to have any at all". You can have as much as you want, anytime you want, you just choose to be sober instead. Focusing on the negative like "I can't drink" will only make you feel deprived and want to drink even more. Focus on why you want to be sober.

I know it might be a hard concept at first, but why do you want to drink poison?

[hadit]

10% reduction technique

Mauri, I have been interested in the reduction method for some time and am applying it now. Many years ago,I tried to give up nicotene. It was hell and took me many attempts! One day I looked back on how and why I started smoking? It started with 1 a day then 2 then 3 or 4 and guess what? I was soon hooked, 25 plus a day!! I figured IF I started smoking gradually, then maybe I could come off them the same way. By reducing my intake over 12 mths I finally was able to deal with the ( by now very weak) cravings and I just stopped and never smoked again!! I am trying this approach with AL. Its not easy and not for everyone but it did work with nicotene,should it work with AL? I guess time will tell. I have been able to reduce my intake by a massive amount. Used to drink heavily everyday,now maybe once or twice a week. Last night (Sat) I was surrounded by booze but I chose to drink water. I was surprised really how easy it was ! You can pm me if you want. I am really interested in this method and good luck with the fight!

[daisy45]

10% reduction technique

xHi Mauri - how's things? Been offline for a couple of days.
You have had some great responses here - might have to steal a few for my personal toolbox...

[mauritiusdodo]

10% reduction technique

Hi all, I was AF on Friday, got home after my Charity henna event at 11pm and thought about having wine but made tea instead and went to bed! Saturday I had a bottle and 2 cans and yesterday a bottle and a half and I plan to be AF today.

Byrdie, I just know that I can't cope with not having any that's all and I figure moderating may be my only way although I am really hoping that my counsellor and my key worker will be able to help more.

[mauritiusdodo]

10% reduction technique

OOOH I am now a senior member!!!! the post below was my 1000th!!!