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    #1

    Failed at Moderation, time to be AF

    Hi all,
    I tried to moderate with the promise of quitting for good if I failed. Well, I failed. Blacked out again this past weekend and my health and well being is being jeopardized.

    I am on day one AF and for me it is easier to not drink that to try and moderate. I am an alcoholic not a social drinking - who did I think I was fooling??

    Happy to be back and look forward to getting sober. I was sober years ago for 5 years and kick myself in the a$$ for starting up again 6 years ago.

    IMT
    new beginnings July 16, 2012
    Tags: None
    #2
    Failed at Moderation, time to be AF

    Hello IMT, and welcome. I'm on day 9 myself. When I started I was sure I'd reach my 30 day goal, then become a moderate drinker. With the help of lots of fellow MWO posters, particularly in the Newbies Nest, I'm opening my eyes to the fact that I might not be a successul moderate drinker. I know right now that if I had a couple of beers I probably wouldn't stop.

    Lots of support here, and a lot of common themes. Good luck this time around. You can do it, one day at a time.
    Well the 1st are the hardest days don't you worry anymore.
    When life looks like easy street there is danger at your door.

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      #3
      Failed at Moderation, time to be AF

      Itsmytime,

      First of all, I love your username. It really says it all....it IS your time to make a change for the better! That's what I hope for myself as well. We sound like we are in the same boat--I did a pretty good job at moderating the last six months, but screwed up bigtime on the 4th of July in front of a bunch of people I wanted to make a good impression with. So much for that! I am a binger, going for days without much thought to alcohol but about half the time I start to drink, I find it hard to stop. When its really bad, I can't describe it any other way than being possessed. I can't control it, literally. Its very scary, and the only thing I know right now for sure is that if I don't have the first one, then I won't have the 8th, 9th or 10th.

      Going on day 8 for me and feeling restless and irritable. But I have antabuse in my system to get me through these rough spots. Have you tried AB? It's great you had 5 years sober already! Then you know you can do it again. Think back about how good it felt and how good you felt about yourself. I have only done 30 days a couple times in my adulthood (other than quitting for my 2 pregnancies). I can only hope I get to the 5 year mark.

      Keep us posted!

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        #4
        Failed at Moderation, time to be AF

        Thanks, I will be on here lots. I have been reading past posts and have been struggling for 4 years.

        It truly is my time this time!!
        new beginnings July 16, 2012

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          #5
          Failed at Moderation, time to be AF

          This is my story as well - I have gone up to about 2 months AF and think I have things pretty well under control. The first couple of times I drink (after a period of sobriety), I actually do manage not to overindulge, but then it snowballs, and pretty soon, I'm right back to square one. I've since concluded that AF is the only way to go for me.

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            #6
            Failed at Moderation, time to be AF

            It's my time too!!! Best time 6 months- no off button once I start. I can't start again. I am now ticking into day 7 and hoping the momentum will hold. All the best itsmytime.

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              #7
              Failed at Moderation, time to be AF

              i'm right there with you, my time!-- have said good bye to moderation and am embracing a life without alcohol
              you've probably read stories in the "my story" section? it took me an entire year of being on this site to find it, for some reason. i spent a good part of the weekend reading Doggygirls story--which is super inspiring. and i also read Supercrews.----i found both of them had some great insight and useful information for getting in a good mind set.
              really good to see you here.

              Comment

                #8
                Failed at Moderation, time to be AF

                Hi Itsmytime,

                I can't moderate either. I tried everything I could think of, from drinking only on Friday and Saturday nights, to waiting until 7pm for my first drink, to pouring out every other drink in an attempt to drink less. That last idea failed miserably, because I'd soon run out of beer and need to drive to the store to get more....

                I finally realized how much work it was to moderate. Planning, scheming, prepping, stocking up, measuring, pouring out, waiting for the designated time...OMG...that's when it hit me..."normal" drinkers do NOT spend 90% of their day figuring out their drinking.

                I'm glad you've decided to go AF. You've done it before, so I know you can do it again. You'll never regret it!!

                K9
                :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Failed at Moderation, time to be AF

                  Moderation never worked for me, ever. For a lot of people who have problems with alcohol moderation is just a no no,Its like we have passed that line where we can ever control our consumption of drink.I am delighted to have stopped poising my body and mind.


                  :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

                  Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
                  I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

                  This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

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                    #10
                    Failed at Moderation, time to be AF

                    Glad to see you back IMT!

                    Moderation just will not work for most of us - it's as simple as that!
                    Making the decision to remain AF (while doing my 30 days) was THE BEST decision I have ever made

                    Wishing you the best!
                    Lav
                    AF since 03/26/09
                    NF since 05/19/09
                    Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Failed at Moderation, time to be AF

                      Hi everyone,
                      Thanks so much for the support from new members to members I remember since I first started this fight.

                      I am feeling strong and actually ready to shout it out on the rooftop that I have gone back to my non drinking life. I feel like I really need to seek out an AA group as last time I quit, I believe I was a dry drunk for 5 years maybe that's why I went back??

                      Thank you thank you thank you!!!!
                      I will be coming here daily and look forward to getting to know everyone better.
                      new beginnings July 16, 2012

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