OK...I'm going to do this.

[GetawayGal]

I have been dependent on wine for about 20 years. Almost a year ago, I followed a very similar program of supplements and weaned myself off AL, and felt fantastic. However, about five months later, the stress of a nasty divorce, hiding out from my ex, and crazy depression got me started again. I am on Topamax, but it doesn't seem to make any difference, and I've been half-hearted in listening to the CD's and taking the supplements, and only just started exercising again. Before when I quit I was on the treadmill every morning and lost 30 lbs. Because of the divorce, I haven't had access to the treadmill and that, paired with stress eating and drinking so much wine again means that I've gain more than half of that back again.

I don't know if it's the addition of the Topamax, but most nights I wake up and find myself asleep on the kitchen floor where I've fallen out of my chair. One night I broke a wine glass, cut myself and didn't even know it and there was glass, wine, and blood everywhere. I don't want to live like this anymore.

Any words of wisdom for someone just starting out?? Anything you can share would be much appreciated.

[WickedMom]

OK...I'm going to do this.

Hi GetawayGal,

I?m sorry to hear about your situation, but you?ve come to a great place for support. Don?t know that I have any words of wisdom, but just wanted to say welcome and that this is a good place to start. I?m sorry to hear about your depression and your divorce. What a scary way to find yourself in the morning.

If you really want to change your ways please know that it is possible. Until 10 months ago I was also dependent on wine for over 20 years. I made a decision to try going 30 days without it. What got me through was reading here -- especially on the ?Newbies Nest? thread -- listening to the CD?s, and basically doing anything I could to distract myself from the cravings. I did some pretty weird things at first. When the cravings were extra strong I resorted to locking myself in the bathroom for a few minutes-- staring at myself in the mirror and practicing a technique called EFT (It stands for emotional freedom therapy) which involves a routine of tapping on specific points on your head and face while repeating a phrase that is meant to help you through the craving. Yes -- as I said -- weird! I still don?t know that it was the actual tapping that helped -- but it gave me something to do while fighting the strongest urges to drink. It helped me get through that awful panicky feeling. You are basically in an argument with yourself when you are in the midst of a craving but don?t want to give in. I think facing yourself eye-to-eye in the mirror can be very effective in talking yourself out of taking that first swig. You have to really see yourself. Anyhow -- it might be worth looking up on the internet. At least the time spent researching will be a distraction in itself?.

Well, once again, a big welcome, and hope to see you around!

WickedMom

[bluburd]

OK...I'm going to do this.

Hi Getawaygirl!
All I can do is offer you a hug at this point. I am also just starting out. There is amazing support here so keep reaching out, and don't be ashamed of your situation. Don't set the bar too high for yourself is advice I have received. Its working for me so far. If I look at the long run it gets super overwhelming, and it makes me want to revert to what is comfortable (glug glug). I have to keep reminding myself about the reward that comes with each fresh morning. So much nicer than waking up on the kitchen floor (i know the feeling). Take it each day at a time, or in even shorter increments. I am taking it 15 minutes at a time right now!

I really hope you stick around with us. The more of us newbies the merrier! I will be online off and on all day. Feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk with. :l

[itsmytime]

OK...I'm going to do this.

Welcome GG, I am on my first week and we have to do anything and everything to succeed. I, like you found myself blacking out the last year of drinking and that is what made me really take notice. Enough is enough, never mind about the anxiety, shame, embarrassment of drinking episodes. Our health is being jeopardized.

Keep coming here, it really is a wealth of support and there's lots just starting. Maybe not for the first time, but I am determined this is my last Day 7.