Hubby has said he will give up AL???

[Daya]

This is the first time in 15 years, the duration of our relationship, he has ever said that. I sat in the car with him today, and said to him, I don't know what to do....I am finding it really hard having alcohol here all the time, I feel if I don't give up drinking, I will eventually either kill myself, or die.

I have said this to him in the past, I have also said I don't expect him to give up. He is a highly functioning alcoholic, who has drunk every day for 30 years..

So i told him today i want him to go away to our property for a week. If I can have 5 days with no booze around me, I can usually get a grip.

Tonight he has only had a whisky, and a glass of wine so far..and i have noticed hes more sober. If he does give up, which I am not hanging my hat on, it will make a huge difference in our relationship. Whilst I love him very much, the boozing has killed any attraction I feel for him. So this is very much a new thing

He gave up a 20 year cocaine habit 7 years ago, when i said i was not going to live with it anymore (I had battled my own addiction, and won) so we will see.

Anyway, as it stands at the moment, i am pretty much just concentrating on myself.

[itsmytime]

Hubby has said he will give up AL???

That's great, even if he cuts down and is there to support your decision.

My hubby is still drinking, he drinks on the weekend but not like I did. He drinks his beers and chills,. I know his consumption will go down now that I've quit.

[Daya]

Hubby has said he will give up AL???

Itsmytime Thanks. I hope it makes a difference. When I am battling it, i just go downsatirs to another room with my laptop, that way I dont have to sit there with his glass of wine in front of me. He is a lovely man sober, during the day, but is drunk every night. If we didnt work together I would have left him long ago. Being with him at work, when hes sober, reinforces what a great guy he is.

Anyway, I felt supported for the first time of him with this, told him I loved him, and thanked him. I actually dont know how he copes, he never gets hangovers, or depressed...

Its good (I suppose) that your hubby only drinks on weekends, that way you can get some space during the week from it

[Guitarista]

Hubby has said he will give up AL???

Daya;1353659 wrote: I sat in the car with him today, and said to him, I don't know what to do....I am finding it really hard having alcohol here all the time, I feel if I don't give up drinking, I will eventually either kill myself, or die.

Daya,

You must take care of you firstly. YOU must be your priority. I am very concerned with your above statements. I am just a simple man, and an addict, but i know a few things, and what i do know is that you have to put yourself first here. If it means leaving him, then do it. I hope you 2 can work things out, but if not, look after you, and do what you have to do.

Take care, and best wishes, G-bloke.

[Daya]

Hubby has said he will give up AL???

You know G, what you said is very spot on. I just went upstairs, and I thought "I should sit with him, and keep him company, as hes making an effort"...but then I realized that upstairs is loaded for me, as long as the booze is there, and I also did really realize i HAVE to do this for myself. Otherwise, there will be no me left .

Plus I feel very fragile, and don't feel I have much to give at the moment.

Thanks for the wise words, Mr G.

Guitarista;1353671 wrote: Daya,

You must take care of you firstly. YOU must be your priority. I am very concerned with your above statements. I am just a simple man, and an addict, but i know a few things, and what i do know is that you have to put yourself first here. If it means leaving him, then do it. I hope you 2 can work things out, but if not, look after you, and do what you have to do.

Take care, and best wishes, G-bloke.

[Guitarista]

Hubby has said he will give up AL???

Daya;1353672 wrote: You know G, what you said is very spot on. I just went upstairs, and I thought "I should sit with him, and keep him company, as hes making an effort"...but then I realized that upstairs is loaded for me, as long as the booze is there, and I also did really realize i HAVE to do this for myself. Otherwise, there will be no me left .

Plus I feel very fragile, and don't feel I have much to give at the moment.

Thanks for the wise words, Mr G.

We just have to do what's best for ourselves where booze/addiction/problem drinking is concerned. It can sometimes take a while to see what is best to do for ourselves clearly, but if we already know, then we can take action. But only you know what's best for you mate.

Good to see you, and keep yapping.