Looking for a bit of support

[Mumof4]

Hi, Im new here. I was looking through the forums and finally decided to write.
Im 32 with children and ive been drinking every night for a while now. I think its generally because of boredom at night and possibly stress.
As of today i really really need to make the effort to stop, so i can have a bit of pride back and set a good example to my children. Im so exhausted with this bad behaviour. Im finding it soul destroying.
Any advice on how to stop?
Thanks

[daisy45]

Looking for a bit of support

Hi Mumof4; welcome to MWO. I wish I had come here at 32 instead of continuing to drink while raising my 4 children. Good for you for seeking help and making that first move.
The best place for you to visit right now would be the Newbies Nest. There are a lot of people there aiming to get their first 30 days.
Read stories here - you will find inspiration and hope.
I wish you all the best as you start your journey....

[mauritiusdodo]

Looking for a bit of support

:welcome:

Hi mumof4, you will find loads of information and support to start on your road to sobriety here, I love this site and everyone on it I too drink every night to de-stress, although it doesn't actually work and I end up even worse the next day, I am on the last two days of my reduction and as of Saturday will have quit completely, I started cutting down on the 13th from 2 bottles of wine a night.

[Mumof4]

Looking for a bit of support

Hi and thanks for your advice guys. I tend to drink a bottle of wine each night, i did have 2 last night and feel so ill today and just beyond fed up with this ridiculous habit! I'll definately check out the newbies nest and take it from there. Good Luck Mauritiusdodo for saturday!!

[mauritiusdodo]

Looking for a bit of support

Mumof4;1355125 wrote: Hi and thanks for your advice guys. I tend to drink a bottle of wine each night, i did have 2 last night and feel so ill today and just beyond fed up with this ridiculous habit! I'll definately check out the newbies nest and take it from there. Good Luck Mauritiusdodo for saturday!!

Thanks

I found that my bottle a night habit escalated into two and on a weekend I wanted even more, it is a ridiculous habit and one my pocket nor my health or sanity can afford any more!

[vlivengood]

Looking for a bit of support

Hey Mum, glad you reached out - I have one 18 year old son and luckily my heavy drinking habit only started about a year ago - it will destroy you fast though - I found myself not remembering sooooo much, I can not imagine if I had raised him his entire life in that haze! I would have missed soooooo many good memories. One thing that helped me was to read a thread on here about what I hate and Loathe about AL for hours it seemed, it absolutely disgusted me about how much I could relate to and how much of it's consequences I suffered but never attributed it to the drinking. One day I just told myself NOT TODAY - Just not today - give yourself one day- give yourself one hang over free morning - the liquor will be there tomorrow if you decide you want it - just one day, show yourself you can do it - tell yourself you deserve it - You must be a mighty strong person to be raising 4 kids - Use that strength to take care of yourself a little. After that one free liquor day I wanted more - I slipped up once but used that as a reminder of how I never wanted to feel again - read a lot on this site and come often for support! We are all rooting for ya!

[Mumof4]

Looking for a bit of support

I know how you mean mauritiudodo, i can not afford it and to be honest i felt like i was cracking up today!! It is starting to really affect my mental health which is understandable being a depressant.
vlivengood...Thank you for your advice also, i will definatly try to set those small goals and take each day as it comes. I think like you say to read on this site, i need to make a point of doing that maybe for the first week or two to read for an hour orso each day. How long have you been AF? If you dont mind me asking?

[mauritiusdodo]

Looking for a bit of support

I find the more I read on here and the more times I visit the site the more focused I feel on my goal, am going to AA tonight aswell just to help keep me on the straight and narrow! Have you decided on a plan of attack yet?

[vlivengood]

Looking for a bit of support

Mum - I am actually a moderator - I have drank casual beers responsibly my entire life with not even a hint of a problem - but recently after a a big diet and weight loss and becoming obsessed with calorie counting I decided I would do a shot of liquor instead of 2-3 beers to get relaxed, well that got out of hand............ So I have been liquor free since last Tuesday but had 2 small slip ups nothing in comparison to the pint of liquor I was drinking every night and even more than that on weekends. Feeling absolutely fabulous these days..... Moderation is not for many on the site - you have to do what is right for you

[Mumof4]

Looking for a bit of support

I think so, i think i will try to aim for 3 days, then keep counting to a week and just hope i can keep going from there. I am going to read as much as i can today to get myself focused and to help give me the kick i need to get on with it. I know it cant continue, it just saps everything from you.
Our neighbours boyfriend stays over at hers even though she works nightshift twice a week orso. Anyway, they have 3 small very yappy dogs we have had to complain to them about the noise as they would let them bark for hours without stopping them. Now she really makes sure it doesnt go on too long if they do start to bark. She now goes to work at night, and her bf stays over and lets them bark till after 12 at night knowing theres a baby here and my husband leaves to work at 5am. She doesnt know about this as when she is there it never happens, we know hes doing it to stick two fingers up at us for moaning about it before. My husband went round a few nights back but he wouldnt answer the door, and last night it started again and i threw my toys out the pram went round to his and screamed at him (this is not me normally by the way) i swore, called him all the ignorant pigs under the sun, to the point i woke my husband up and he had to drag me away. So im furious at myself for behaving like that...i could have dealt with it better. Alcohol has far too much to answer for.

[Mumof4]

Looking for a bit of support

vlivengood...Thats brilliant its going really well for you! I hope i can the same as you this time next week.
Ive never drank spirits, just tends to be wine nowadays and its really just got out of hand these id say past 3 months. Although i have been the one that tends to get really drunk when socialising or up till recently it was 2 bottles of wine a week. I was like you also only had the odd beer then i started to drink wine when feeling really down, that got out of hand, but i reined it in to one or two bottles a week for years. Now i know it needs to stop as its to the point, i have no energy, or life about me some days and i feel vile about that as its not fair at all on my children!

[K9Lover]

Looking for a bit of support

Hi Mum and Welcome!

My drinking slowly escalated into a 12 pack of beer every night, rain or shine. Sometimes more. I don't really remember the turning point when 6 wasn't enough, and I needed the whole 12 pack. That's the beast, as we call it, sneaking up on you! I drank heavily for at least 10 years. I'm now into my 2nd year of making sobriety my priority. No, I don't have 2 years sober, but in 2011 I went 257 days alcohol free, and so far in 2012 I am completely sober. You CAN do it too. I drank out of boredom, happiness, sadness, lonliness, because it was Tuesday, etc...you name it. The first 3-4 days will be the hardest because you are in such a habit. Once you get past those, it does start to get easier. Stick close. Read the threads that have been mentioned previously. And keep posting....we're here for you!

K9

These threads are real "eye openers":


https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...hen-23467.html

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...ing-22609.html

[Mumof4]

Looking for a bit of support

Hello K9Lover
I can understand about any excuse to have a drink, it really does seem that way nowadays. I actually think to myself once i've persuaded myself that whatever reason is a good reason how pathetic I am and where on earth is my will power?? Its amazing how you have been completley free of it this year, you must be really proud of yourself?! I genuinley hope that i can get to 30 days as so many people seem to do on these forums and then just run like hell with it!!
I'll read those threads that you mentioned as well, I hope the more i inform myself and the more support i have within this group, that possibly it will make things slightly easier!

[mauritiusdodo]

Looking for a bit of support

K9Lover;1355192 wrote: Hi Mum and Welcome!

M I drank out of boredom, happiness, sadness, lonliness, because it was Tuesday, etc...you name it.

This was/is definitely me, had a good day, had a bad day, stressed, happy, its sunny, its raining, its Wednesday etc....!!!

[vlivengood]

Looking for a bit of support

Mum, with 4 kids you really should not have to deal with problem a lot of us do as to what to do with all that free time that you use to fill with drinking - How you mange four kids is beyond me, one was enough for me! Let alone fit in drinking time. Plus you have at the very least 4 WONDERFUL things in your life that should fulfill you way more than any AL ever could come close to.