I can't stop drinking

[Jessica]

I can't stop. I need some sense of hope because I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think I'm going to die like this. Can someone offer anything to help me change my thinking? I am completly hopeless.

[kitkatsue]

I can't stop drinking

Jessica, I have felt the same way so many times.

This is a great place to start, if you feel comfortable doing so please tell us a little about what you are going through.

And welcome!!

Kitkatsue

[Accountable for Me]

I can't stop drinking

Hang in there Jessica. I felt the EXACT same way you are right now. I honestly thought I was going to drink myself to death. Everyone in my family thought I would die from it. I was a heavy binge drinker....

I would suggest you see a doctor? Your doctor can help you get on a program to help you with cravings and withdrawal (prescriptions/detox, etc.). The MWO program here offers you lots of tools to help you with your quitting the drinking as well. I spent HOURS upon HOURS here just reading and reading. You will find you are not alone. You will really learn that you are not hopeless and it is not impossible to stop.

To be perfectly honest with you, I felt 'hopeless' and then I came across this site. I was searching for something so desperately on the internet to help me out of this hell. I found this place and it has given me the strength and the courage to get as far as I have. It has given me a new outlook on life - no lie. I have been sober for 58 days now. I come here every day and it is kind of like going to a meeting - it is here when ever you need it.

You can download or order the My Way Out book to help you mentally get prepared and inspired. I would also suggest you read through the posts here and keep posting. That is what I did, and still do and it really helps getting those feeling out. There will always be someone here to help you through. Asking for help is a huge first step and it tells me you are wanting to do something about this and not die from it.

It really is a one day at a time thing - to get sober. You will find so much support here, I guarantee you it. It is pretty quiet here on the weekends, but you will get a ton of response to your cry for help.

Hang in there. We will be here for you. I am glad you are here. :l

:welcome:

[Popeye]

I can't stop drinking

Hi Jessica,
You have come to the right place.
I'm really glad that you're here.
There are lots of lovely people here who have been in your position.
The first thing that struck me when I found this sight was the number of people who knew exactly what I was going through.
Stay a while. You'll like it.

[Jessica]

I can't stop drinking

Thank you for replying so quickly. What's going on with me is that I binge drink in the evening during the week, and around the clock on the weekends. I am sick everyday. I black out everytime I drink. I am isolating- not answering my phone or returning calls. I have been in my bed for 3 days drinking and I have to stop tonight so that I can show up to work tomorrow. I am terrified of getting the DTs. I am so tired of being so sick everyday.

I've been in and out of AA for 12 years. I have 3 months recently and relapsed back in November and haven't been able to stop this time. I still go to meetings and maintain contact with a fewe AA members, but I have no motivation and I honeslty don't see how I wil ever get myself out of this cycle. I am on the verge of losing my job too. I am scared.

[Accountable for Me]

I can't stop drinking

You are pretty much describing me in regards to your binge drinking. Actually you are describing me. I know the fear you have. DT's suck as well. Can you see your doctor for something to help you come down from the alcohol? Being a binge drinker just sucks. You can't wean down you just want more. Do you think you could wean yourself down? I really want to help you because I totally understand what you are going through. I stopped cold turkey and it wasn't pretty. The first few days were horrid. I managed ok with lots of fluids, food, and Gravol for the naseousness.

I want you to know you can do this. You have to want to do this. With your posting here you obviously want to do it. The key is to break the cycle. Then take it one minute at a time. It is hard, but you managed 3 months! That is great. Why don't we help you get to 6 months, or a year, or for the rest of your life? You deserve to be happy. You need your job. You need your health. Let us help you. We all have fallen off the wagon so many times. The more you try the better you will get at it. Sounds lame, but it is so true.

[Jessica]

I can't stop drinking

Thanks. I have been to a doctor several time, but currently am in between health care plans, so I'm not covered at all. I got online and ordered Antabuse which will be here by the end of the week. I am going to treat myself I guess. Perhaps with that, and this site as well as meetings I can make some progress. The issue I have with meetings is that I never speak up, so I am not communicating at all on a group level which I know is crucial. It feels good to write about this and express myself. Wow.

Have you ever taken Antabuse? Do you have any suggestions? Are you sober now? If so, for how long?

[Wattle]

I can't stop drinking

Hi Jessica

I just wanted to say hi and congrats for making this step here and finding this site... we have all been in your situation and you are not alone....

I guess what works for me is being able to come here everyday and see where everyone is at.. it is like having an on-line family and you do get to know us all... please keep coming back and visiting.. together we will get thru this..

cheers

Wattle

[Determinator]

I can't stop drinking

Hi Jessica hang in there! I'm just now going on day 3 (tomorrow) AF after a nasty binge and it's been really rough but I've been worse before. I had to come home early to drink on thursday and friday...so upsetting but had to do a quick taper down. taking a ton of vitamins and GABA and Taurine seemed to help me this time with sleeping, horrible thumping in my chest and other crap we go through at these times. doctors visit if at all possilbe even if you have to work out payment later is of course the best way if you can. there are also online resources like http://www.riverpharmacy.com that may help. keep us posted and remember there is no shame in wanting to be better

[Bella]

I can't stop drinking

Jessica you sound so fed up. As the others have said, we have all been there and may go there again, so you have done the first step by getting onto this site and talking. Good for you,that takes courage. Like you, i have been in that horrible dark place under my duvet hiding from the world and wishing i could just die and it would all be over. Have you felt like that? I was shaking uncontrollably and could not breath properly, a panic attack i think. I rang a help line and they were able to calm me down. Is there a help-line that you can call? Or perhaps a good friend who you can trust? I know it can feel embaressing but it might help you to open up a bit about how you feel. There is nothing like telling someone to make you feel less alone.
Hang in there and keep posting.
Bella

[Jessica]

I can't stop drinking

Thanks everyone for your kind words. I made it into work today and haven't had anything to drink yet. I didn't sleep last night- I just shook and had cold sweats and heart palpatations, the usual. At least I am not vomitting yet. I ordered the book and it should arrive here Wednesday.

I wish I could just hold on to this feelings of shame and guilt so that I would never drink again. It's especially hard because I work for a very high-end wine label, and today I am alone at the vineyard with keys to the cellar. Sometimes I swear I am the only one in the industry that is alcoholic; everyone seems to control their consumption so well.

Finding this site has really made me feel like I am not alone, and that is the best feeling I have experienced in such a long time. Thank you.

[lushy]

I can't stop drinking

Jessica, I wish you the best. You sound like you are ready to make a BIG change. We all get it. We are here for you so stick around.:welcome:

[Cashregister]

I can't stop drinking

hi Jessica,

Hang in there. It will pass and you wont need that guilt to keep you going. You will feel GOOD. All my colleagues at work seemed to be able to hold everything together too (found out that was not the case - we are all human and we all have our problems) - but it's amazing how well people hide things - don't you think?

Love

Cashy

[Beaches]

I can't stop drinking

Jessica
Welcome. This place is great to get your feelings and thoughts out and to have people respond to them especially when you don't like talking in front of people. It's also great for asking for help and advice. A lot of the time we spend taking care of everyone else and this site allows others to offer un-biased support. You will find a lot of people in the same shoes as you.

Keep posting and coming back.

[Rocky]

I can't stop drinking

Hang in there Jessica....

You Are NOT alone. There are many here that understand and can help you. The program works well. The Supplements and Kudzu are Key tools. Seeing and understanding how alcohol is a poison and not your friend also is key...Keep coming here to read and ask questions...follow the book.

Best wishes t you.