I can't stop drinking

[Accountable for Me]

I can't stop drinking

Jessica, I have never tried antabuse. I have been sober for 59 days now. I managed to make most of December until the holidays. My last drink was on December 28/06. I haven't been at this very long. But considering my drinking history, other than my pregnancy - I think I have done very well. It is because of this program. I wish you all the best and keep us posted.

[dilayne]

I can't stop drinking

Hi Jessica,
Do you have a sponsor at the AA meetings you are going to? It sounds like you need some people around you to help you get out of the isolation and through possible DTs. I agree with everything others have posted..the supplements, the Kudzu, the GABA and especially the topamax will definitely help you...but until you get these items, it would be great if you could ask someone to be with you. You can definitely turn this around..so many of us are doing it right now. You've found this site for a reason so BELIEVE that and keep posting love!
Dianne

[DidItForMe]

I can't stop drinking

Hi Jessica and welcome to the site:
I haven't been here long but I have found some wonderful people who have gone through some of the same horrible things I have gone through. It's weird, but it helps. Stay with us and keep talking. I just started taking Topamax and it is helping a bit with the cravings. Don't know much about antibuse. sorry! Read the book and come back often. Many hugs!

[kitkatsue]

I can't stop drinking

Jessica,

Your story sounds so much like mine my last binder landed me in the emergency room, with a bad anxiety attack and high blood pressure, that was over a month ago.

Like you I thought I was going to lose my job, but I found some people to talk to and get support.

And it does seem like some people can drink moderately with no problem, or maybe they just hide it better, I find its not a good idea to think about what they are able to do or not do, I was amazed to find that some of the friends of mine that I thought had their life so together really didn't.

Anyway as for the dt's there are anxiety meds and herbal formulas that can help while your body detoxes. Calms forte, and Valerian tea helped me allot.

Hang in there, and take care!!!:welcome:

Kitkatsue

[Jessica]

I can't stop drinking

I drank again! Am I insane?

Well I did it again last night. I was on my way to the post office and suddenly I thought it would be a good idea to stop a get a bottle of vodka. Of course I finished this and had to go out for a second, which put me into a blackout and I couldn't move from my bed until 4 pm today.

It was then that I opened the freezer and saw that I had finished the second bottle last night. I also really looked in my freezer....I counted over 10 empty vodka bottles. I don't even like vodka. I am a wine drinker- what has happened to me? I keep finding bottles everywhere!

I have to go into the office all night to complete what I was supposed to be doing today. Again I am so shaky and sweaty. What are some other herbs anyone can recommend?

Am I insane?

[Popeye]

I can't stop drinking

Hi Jessica,
Please try again.
Just for one day.
You're not insane. You are just really, really struggling.
You really are going to do yourself serious harm if you keep this up. I know that you know this. A body just can't handle all this poison. Don't listen to the voice that tells you it's a good idea to drink. Listen to your self. Your whole body is telling you that things have to change. Throw every last drop of booze out right away and don't get any more. You will have to find something else to occupy yourself with, even if it's just getting a good night's sleep.
Please try to stop hurting yourself.

[ScoobyDoo]

I can't stop drinking

Jessica

I'm new here too. I realise you are inbetween health funds at the moment, but I feel so desperate for you and I can really feel your pain! Maybe you need to take each moment and as Popeye has said above - find something else to occupy yourself. Maybe you could make a small plan of what you will do for the next 24 hour period, to get you through without reaching for that bottle - and then make another plan of what you will do for the following 24 hour period... some things that will make you feel relaxed and things you used to enjoy. Just simple things, like taking a bath and pampering yourself.

You are not insane.

I have another idea, which might help, and that is to go to your doctor and see if s/he will prescribe valium, as it sounds like the DT's are really bad.

You mentioned AA and keeping in contact with some friends there... reach out to them Jessica! This forum is awesome, and keep posting here along with a phone call to someone who can help you over the phone too, or come over and just be with you. I am happy to call and chat with you if it helps. I'm in Australia but have a cheap calling card, so it's no problem. I'll send you a private message too.

I am waiting for my herbs to arrive, but from what I hear, they work really well for most people here... anything is worth it to help get over our battles! It sounds like the whole approach ie the CD's and herbs and the stronger drugs as a totally package and holistic approach is what works well for most.

It must be really hard working for a wine company, and having it around you all the time.

Throw out all the booze along with the empty bottle reminders Jessica.

We are all here for you!

DooDoo

[free2beme]

I can't stop drinking

Jessica, I really feel for you. You've just got to find a way to stop. The valium sounds like a good idea to get you through early withdrawals. Throw out all the alcohol, empty bottles, and don't bring any more into the house! Can you take two or three "sick" days to just stay at home and in bed? Sleep and rest as much as you can to get through the worst. Do you have anyone that could come sit with you? Please keep in touch.

[sammys]

I can't stop drinking

Hang in there, you are figuring things out so please don't give up. Lots of good advice here find your inner courage to take it one day at a time.

YOU CAN DO IT!!
SAMMYS

[Accountable for Me]

I can't stop drinking

Jessica you aren't insane. You are addicted to alcohol. I went from a 'wine drinker' to a 'vodka drinker'. It was so tough. Vodka was like a drug. I could drink a lot of it and still function - then I would all of a sudden black out. Wasn't pretty. I would find empty bottles all over the place and would be horrified at the amount I drank the night before.

Please go and see your doctor. He can help you with your withdrawal symptoms. There is so much help available if you want it. We are routing for you. Keep posting your thoughts. It really helps getting stuff off your chest. We all understand because we all have problems with alcohol.

[DidItForMe]

I can't stop drinking

Jessica:
I understand about the vodka. I drank so much of the stuff but was blacked out so much of the time. I was horrified in the mornings when I realized how much I had drank the night before! Not only did I not know how much I drank, but I couldn't remember what I was doing. I was missing out on my life with my family. My kids were growing up right in front of me but I was too drunk to remember the next day. This is a horrible way to live. You know this. I know this.
You deserve more from life than alcohol is giving you. It is not your friend. It is taking away your joy, not giving you any in return. Please get to a doctor to get some meds for the DTs. I got some xanax and it helped to calm me down and enabled me to sleep for a few days until they passed. You have friends here. Keep talking to us. Hugs to you!

[Arial]

I can't stop drinking

Keep with us!

Hi Jessica,

I'm afraid I have no more words of advice that the others haven't already offered - please take them - we want you around to share the journey with us. I often turn to quotes for inspiration - people with greater wisdom and a better use of words than I, and I wanted to share this one with you:

"When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn." (by Harriet Beecher Stowe (1811-1896)

You've started to turn that tide by joining us - keep it up now and stick with your aim for a new life - it's there waiting for you.

[Diana]

I can't stop drinking

Hi,
That comment about fliting with death but recognising you were actually pursuing it rings true for me too. I didn't care wheater I lived or died and I can only say it was the booze that made my thoughts go that way. I have everything to live for and realise that now, since I have had a period of AF and now moderate successfully.

I drank every night up to 7 glasses of wine or other drinks. The good news is there is light at the end of the tunnel and you are in the right place for the light to get brighter and brighter. Good luck Jessica. Like you I didn't think I could ever stop or moderate but I did.

Hope to hear from you regularly as you go about your journey

[Determinator]

I can't stop drinking

Jessica, if you are consuming those kind of quantites on a regular basis I simply IMPLORE you to see the doc. it's for the best and that's from the bottom of my heart. You can work out the payment with them later, they can't refuse to treat you. have a friend or even someone from work take you if you must...they will respect you. We understand...been there!

[nancy]

I can't stop drinking

health care

Is there any care for uninsured there?
I know some parts of california have a good safety net for those who don't have coverage.