Losing Friends

[Marhall]

So here I am 42 years of age, and a drunk. I have known for sometime it is out of control. I can stop during the week, but once Friday hits, I can sink 2 bottles of wine and what ever else is left over, same Saturday and Sunday. I get pretty lonely at night as I live away from my family, so I start the phone calls, and most of the time I can only remember 1.2 remember what I said. Also, the other night a friend of mine of 12 years advised that she is sick of my 'crazy shit' and we both decided to walk away from the friendship. I have a great husband, but he is getting sick of it also.

I guess, I am just wondering, if anyone has gone through the samething. I feel like stink, and a piece of crap.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Losing Friends

Hello Marhall and welcome to MWO. I imagine nearly everyone of us here has been sick and tired of our own behaviour in the cold light of morning. The feelings of disgust and sickness when we realise we have done it again, the questions why do I do this?, why cant I stop?, the self recriminations and feelings of low self worth and esteem. It drips away at us and is a vicious circle.
Here at MWO you will find people from all around the world who truly understand what it is like to be trapped in the spire of self destruction and the support and advice here is second to none in my experience. Stick around there is help here if you are willing to take it.

Keep safe
KTAB

[Kradle123]

Losing Friends

Hi Marhall & :welcome:

You are absolutely not alone here. Your subject is very near and dear to my heart. Several years ago someone sent this to me. It helped me through many looses, many of course precipitated by AL. You have found a good place

A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or
a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you
will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is
usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have
come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you
with guidance and support, to aid you physically,
emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a
godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason
you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an
inconvenient time, this person will say or do something
to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our
desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you
sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .
Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount
of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things
you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional
foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the
person, and put what you have learned to use in all
other relationships and areas of your life. It is said
that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Author Unknown

:l

[Marhall]

Losing Friends

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I think I will find help here, not that I would ever want anyone to feel as I am, it is comforting to know, that it is not alien people. I am crying as I type, because I am smiling a little.

[mauritiusdodo]

Losing Friends

:welcome: Marhall,

Kradle thank you for posting that I had read it a long long time ago but forgotten it !

Marhall, I have lost a lot of friends over the years and when I look back in a lot of the cases it was in some way due to AL, my best friend of 18 years told me I was too high maintenance after gradually distancing herself from me over the course of a couple of years, I think I had just become too clingy and needy and that was in part due to AL making me paranoid and anxious and sapping my confidence and one friend told me she didn't like how I was when I got drunk and didn't want to be friends anymore

We all know how you are feeling, I used to drink every day but more at weekends (two or more bottles of wine) and I hated myself more and more every day, my husband is also supportive but I could see the disappointment and worry in his face when I was drinking. I followed a reduction plan recently and am newly sober (4 days), I feel so great and I have this site to thank, you will find much support and friendship here, just shout out if you want any advice and you will get help

[HardOutHereForAPimp]

Losing Friends

Hi, I am new to MWO as well. try taking some time off from drinking to be more social. Go out of your way to text and call those friends you do not make enough time for. But just be yourself, and try to do your best.

[Cashregister]

Losing Friends

Hey Marhall know how you feel- specially with the pone calls. I have no idea why I became glued o a phone when drunk its loneliness mostly I think and that's one of the reasons I drink in the first place - so thn I alienate my friends cause I'm lonely - hat a vicious cycle. You will find hlp here it's a great forum with wonderful people who have all walked similar paths - hang in there, cashy xxx

[Marhall]

Losing Friends

Thank you Cashy I will stick in there.

[Cashregister]

Losing Friends

Oh dear sorry about the typos Marhall I was sooo tired your real friends will always be there for you so think of this as a good exercise in knowing who they are even though some people can be so hurtful at least you'll know who to trust. Cashy xxx

[Marhall]

Losing Friends

How true...

[TheSunFlower]

Losing Friends

I don't think anyone lands on this site because they are proud of things they have done while drunk. Or felt wonderful the next day. If that was the case.....I'd still be drinking. And its those awful things that ultimately give you good reason to stop.

You are with people here that truly understand.

[Marhall]

Losing Friends

Yes, and people taking their time out to respond is great. Thank you. I am going to look at doing an on-line course to keep me busy at the weekends, something I always wanted to do, but was too busy drinking.

[LibraryGirl]

Losing Friends

I understand too Marshall. I have done the drunk dialing thing, or the FB thing where I said things that were hurtful, because I was hurting, or even things that made no sense at all. Right now I am having a crisis of sorts because of some family issues. I am not drinking but if I were, I am absolutely positive I would regret what I did. I have already said the wrong thing on the phone to my sister, and keep sending emails to my family that no one responds to, and I'm stone cold sober. Imagine how awful it would be if I were drunk.

Hang in there, and take it one day at a time. This site is awesome for support.

[Marhall]

Losing Friends

Sorry to hear about your family crises Librarygirl, it would be bloody hard on you. I hope that they see that you are sober, and caring very soon.

[matti1024]

Losing Friends

Hi Marhall! Thanks for posting...

Ironically, a few years ago I had a falling out with a guy whom I thought was my best friend, and was the best man at my wedding. And this was when I was SOBER!

I asked him if he would like to hear my latest symphonic piece of music, and he said "No. It's not my cup of tea."

Then he continued to write some b.s. about how two trees grow branches in different directions etc. Needless to say, I was very hurt and confused by his response.

The irony continues... years later I saw him at a party where we were both drunk and we made amends.

I guess this doesn't help your situation, but it does show that former close friends can drift apart and then come back together later. And since I am now sober, your story has inspired me to contact old friends and renew relationships!

Oh... I sure made many phone calls I didn't quite remember when I was drunk. It IS embarrassing... even making social plans I totally forgot about! Not a good way to be a friend. I'll make up for it now that my head has cleared up!

Good luck! M.