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*grits teeth and starts over*

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    #1

    *grits teeth and starts over*

    A good friend texted yesterday morning and told me she was separated from her husband and she wanted to meet up for lunch. I was running late, and by the time I got there she had ordered appetizers for us... and wine. We had a glass apiece with each course... Dammit.

    My normal pattern after that would have been to drive to a liquor store, purchase one of those gigantic bottles of wine, drink it by myself, then scheme about how to get more wine without getting in a car because I was too drunk to drive, pass out, and be hung over and furious with myself the next morning.

    However... I asked my friend to go for a walk with me after lunch. We walked for an hour. I drove home without buying more liquor. I wrote in my journal. I cried because I wanted more wine. I poured diet tonic water in my wine glass. I called my beloved and talked for an hour. I went to bed. I woke up this morning miffed with myself but sober.

    It is no where near     being AF... but it is so much better than I have ever done.

    Marieth

    AF Day 1 8/1/2012
    "Feel the fear... move through it... do it anyway."
    Jillian Michaels
    Tags: None
    #2
    *grits teeth and starts over*

    Well done, you didn't let a slip turn into a fall.
    Wally22:confusedmonkey::confusedmonkey::confusedmo nkey:
    If I don't want to brag but I can still wear the earings I wore in highschool
    November 2, 2012

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      #3
      *grits teeth and starts over*

      Thank you, Wally22... each little pat on the back here helps more than people will know.
      "Feel the fear... move through it... do it anyway."
      Jillian Michaels

      Comment

        #4
        *grits teeth and starts over*

        I think you did wonderfully!! To stop when you have started (I've started so I'll finish) is the most difficult thing to do, don't beat yourself up for a minor slip :l Onward and upward...
        Taking it ODAT

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          #5
          *grits teeth and starts over*

          Thanks, mauritiusdodo... like I said, every "Yay You" counts.
          "Feel the fear... move through it... do it anyway."
          Jillian Michaels

          Comment

            #6
            *grits teeth and starts over*

            Hi All

            Relapse is something to be learned from. Great you stepped back when you saw your old pattern in front of you. The question now is what would you do different if this situation presents itself again. It will in a different form. When you are early in recovery it helps if you can control the situations you will find yourself in. Meaning is there the possibility of al being present. Some of us had to say no to friends wanting or needing us if the situation was going to be a problem with our recovery. I was very selfish at the start of my recovery placing me first. It has to be sorted out how much of ourselves we can give, and not risk our recovery.
            I made the same mistake many times in placing myself around al and thinking I could be strong enough to not drink. It took me many years to realize I couldn't. The start of recovery is the hardest. We have to look at the situations we are going into and ask will this be a problem. Is there a better option. Sometimes we have no choice but then we should be well aware it will be a fight.


            Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
            AF 5-16-08
            Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
            AF 5-16-08

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              #7
              *grits teeth and starts over*

              Caysea, you are absolutely right, and I have a big challenge coming this weekend. My birthday is Friday, and it's one of those "multiple of 20" birthdays that is kind of a big deal. It's not like I can step away from the celebrations that have been planned. One party will have several children there, and the rule with my friends is children = no AL. When a friend suggested champagne just this once, I just used the "but the kids" excuse and we will be drinking sparkling lemonade instead. For the family party I'm just going to keep socializing with diet tonic water and cranberry juice in a wine glass so no one tries to hand me a drink.

              Here we go...
              "Feel the fear... move through it... do it anyway."
              Jillian Michaels

              Comment

                #8
                *grits teeth and starts over*

                Marieth,

                Good job on stopping with the one glass of wine. That takes more strength than I ever had. You should be proud of yourself. Each time it will get easier. Remember how good it feels to be sober. Good luck at your Bday party!

                K9
                :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

                Comment

                  #9
                  *grits teeth and starts over*

                  Best of luck Marieth - and happy birthday!
                  February 27th, 2013. A New , Successful Start. :h

                  When everything seems like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top!!

                  Comment

                    #10
                    *grits teeth and starts over*

                    Hey Marieth

                    Good for you for stopping that progression after lunch! I know that is hard to do. It is for me anyway.
                    Isn't it a drag that we just don't seem to have an "off" switch? I could pummel someone senseless who says "Why can't you just have one or two?" BECAUSE I'M NOT WIRED THAT WAY!
                    Sorry but that's the way it is.

                    I am taking Antabuse; never thought I would. Lots of social/business stuff going on this week (as usual) and this drug works for me. I don't take it every day. But I know for sure that with any disulfiram in my system drinking is OUT of the question. It works for me.

                    Now I can lose the 25# I've gained I'll be a happy camper!

                    Stay strong-youare doing fine

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