Hello Everyone

[Bob100]

Hi

I've just come across this forum whilst searching for websites to do with giving up alcohol. I think I have a problem with alcohol because although I can go for ages without drinking, when I do drink it 8-9 times out of 10 turns into a massive binge.

This occurs on nights out with my friends and over the years it's led to me being arrested, causing various damage to property, damaging relationships, generally disgracing myself, no doubt harming my health, getting into fights etc

Every time something bad happens, or I wake up with yet another terrible hangover, I say to myself that I will never drink again. The time I got arrested and woke up in a police cell, with no recollection of how I got there, should have been a turning point.

I'm worried that eventually I'm either going to drop stone dead from drinking, or wake up having done something that's completely ruined my life and everything I've worked hard for.

People say that I can be like a different person when I'm drunk. I've tried pacing myself, drinking soft drinks in between alcoholic ones, not drinking, drinking only certain beers, but none of it has worked so far.

My friends all drink but they rarely, if ever, end up doing something they regret. They tell me I just need to pace myself, but I don't think I can do that. I want to stop but I don't want to come across as being Jesus to my contemporaries (no religious offence intended here, I am a Christian).

So, I guess I need to stop totally? How do you find people react when you tell them you don't drink anymore?

[lagataloca]

Hello Everyone

I have always had friends who did not drink as well as those who do, it has never influenced how I felt about them personally, unless their drinking caused them major problems, and in that case I felt HAPPY for them when they told me they were quitting.
How often do you go on binges? The friends you are with when you go off the deep end, are they also drinking way to excess? Do you ever hang out with them in a sober environment?

[Bob100]

Hello Everyone

I have always had friends who did not drink as well as those who do, it has never influenced how I felt about them personally, unless their drinking caused them major problems, and in that case I felt HAPPY for them when they told me they were quitting.
How often do you go on binges? The friends you are with when you go off the deep end, are they also drinking way to excess? Do you ever hang out with them in a sober environment?

Hang out both sober and when drinking. They drink quite a bit but not as much me it doesn't seem, and they don't end up in the situations I do.

I probably binge maybe 2-3 times a month. It's not unknown for me to consume up to ?100 or more of alcohol on a night out. I usually feel bad because I find I go from being out thinking to myself I'm going to pace myself, to waking up in bed with absolutely no recollection of how I got home and what I'd done in the hours I'd lost.

I think you're right it shouldn't be a problem to people, I think society makes to much of a deal out of drinking/not drinking at times.

[lagataloca]

Hello Everyone

So if you were to go out with your friends and have something non-alcoholic to drink, how would you feel? Like you were missing out on the buzz? Like your friends would think you were a drag and a bore? What is it that makes you want to drink when you KNOW what a train wreck you are going to be by the end of the evening? Figure out the why and then you can start to make plans how to avoid the disaster and get off the crazy train...

[K9Lover]

Hello Everyone

Hi Bob and Lagataloca!

A huge welcome to both of you!
Bob, like you, I lost many many hours and whole nights due to blackouts. Towards the end of my drinking, I was blacking out nearly every night. I only drank at home, but this was still dangerous. I'd also drive after having too much to drink, I did that way too many times! I have had 2 DUI's in the past and still continued to drink. I finally got tired of waking up wondering "What the hell did I do last night?"...scrambling for the phone to see who I'd called/texted/emailed...trying to piece together the night before by walking around the house to see if I'd cooked anything, left any candles burning, or even locked the front door. It all became TOO much. The anxiety was more than I could bear. I have 221 days sober, and although it's not my first quit (most people have many), I do feel like it's my last. Please keep posting and let us know how things are going for you. Visit the Newbies Nest for lost of support and encouragement.

Again, welcome!

K9

[matti1024]

Hello Everyone

Hi Bob, and welcome! :welcome:

I used to drink A LOT, everyday. When I got my first DUI, I totaled my car and was lucky I didn't kill myself, since I was on a mountain road driving fast.

After my second DUI, I got help. My main thoughts were that not only could I have killed myself, I could have killed someone else and spent the next 20+ years in prison. All that for "just" drinking.

Then I resumed drinking, and it was like a downhill spiral. I eventually had to go to the hospital and was diagnosed with pancreatitis from drinking. I decided that I 'was' killing myself, or it sure felt like it. I made up my mind that I had to quit or I'd die one way or the other.

Since then, I actually have WAY more fun socializing, even around people who are drinking. I'm now past 6 weeks AF, and it was tough at first, but really worth it!

Good Luck, M.

[Lavande]

Hello Everyone

Hello & welcome to MWO Bob!

You have found a great place with lots of support!
Great information & tools available here too - usethem.
Here's a link to the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

Use the ideas in the Tool box to help you put together a good plan for yourself.
Also be sure to read the MWO book. You can download that from th ehealth store here on the site.

Please stay close to MWO, let us know how you are doing.
Wishing you the best!

Lav

[Struggles 106]

Hello Everyone

Hey Bob

So happy you found this place! It is great for support.

You are right about your drinking-it's a problem. AND it WILL get worse if you don't stop.
It doesn't matter at all what happens to other people when they drink. They might not have the results you have, but they might be headed down that same road.
Blackouts are your body's way of keeping you alive when there is simply too much alcohol in your system.
Rest assured that this does not happen to "normal" drinkers. Not that I even believe that there is such a thing.

It's great that you recognize this situation and are willing to address it. You are ahead of the game on that-a lot of people never get it.

Stay strong and take care

[Bob100]

Hello Everyone

Thank you for all the messages of support. I'm glad I discovered this forum. I didn't drink this weekend and feel great this morning (Monday), early to work and everything

@lagataloca - I think there is a feeling of not being 'part of the group' - I think among men, there seems to be sense of comradery by ordering rounds of drinks together. Have you recently stopped drinking?

In the UK binge drinking, to some extent, is quite common with a lot of younger people. The Government ran a series of ads a while back showing people getting ready for a night out and feeling great, then arriving home with half a kebab down there front and in a total state.

Good ads, because alcohol is pretty much always associated with good times and people having fun, in films, on tv, through adverts, etc, ironically a lot like how smoking used to be portrayed when that was 'fashionable'.

Maybe they should ban Alcohol advertising?

[mario]

Hello Everyone

Hi Bob and Lagataloca welcome to MWO,You have a found a great community with lots of support and advice from people who have/are being exactly where you are now,keep posting and reading as much as you can and you will see your not alone in this battle.good luck and hope you two stick around :-)

[Mootsbill]

Hello Everyone

Hi Bob100

I'm like you, although I have long periods of abstinence I can't seem to stop when I start, over the years I've done some toe curling things, including being unfaithful, drink driving, fell out with friends and even lost a job ;0(
This weekend I went to a wedding where I was well behaved, then we went to a BBQ on Saturday where I continued to drink all day and still behaved, yesterday ,or I woke up feeling so rough I needed a drink to get through the day.
I'm starting day one of af today using the supplements from the my way out program.
I think your right to think about quitting. Don't worry what people think, if your mates are aware of your behaviour they will probably think its a good idea
Good luck xx

[lagataloca]

Hello Everyone

Bob,

I am quite sure your buds will be happy to have you around even if you are not drinking, especially if you are still buying rounds! LOL! I think in your case you just need to make a plan each time before you go out: Decide what you will be drinking, and what you will say if anyone asks you why you don't any more. I think if I were you I would keep your answer light an funny, so no one feels like you're feel sad and/or are missing out, because you don't want to wake up feeling miserable or in jail. Do they have good non-alcoholic beer where you are from? You may want to try switching to that.

[DfromCT]

Hello Everyone

Hi, Moots and Bob,

You've both done a great thing by recongnizing a problem, and, despite social pressures to the contrary, committed to making a change. I think you've already recieved some good advise here, but the only thing I would like to add is read the book (it comes free with any of the MWO supplement starter packs) and consult with a doctor. Going AF is difficult, more so if you're doing it on your own. I've found that MWO supplements AND prescribed anti-craving medicine really help. Today is day 30 for me, and the only cravings I've had were not that bad, and mostly come when I'm taking half doses of the Rx (which I've been doing with the doctor's approval and suggestion.)

The brain becomes wired to push you towards alcohol. Some folks with addictive personalities (and I probably fall in this category) inherited the tendency towards seeking to escape through self medicating with alcohol and/or recreational drugs. Your brain synapses (probably not the correct medical term) have certain areas that are firing along pushing you towards drinking. Medications can help your brain bypass those synapses so that you are not fighting your own brain which is telling you to drink.

Good luck, and welcome to the MWO forums.

[Supercrew]

Hello Everyone

Bob100;1359389 wrote: Hi

I've just come across this forum whilst searching for websites to do with giving up alcohol. I think I have a problem with alcohol because although I can go for ages without drinking, when I do drink it 8-9 times out of 10 turns into a massive binge.

This occurs on nights out with my friends and over the years it's led to me being arrested, causing various damage to property, damaging relationships, generally disgracing myself, no doubt harming my health, getting into fights etc

Every time something bad happens, or I wake up with yet another terrible hangover, I say to myself that I will never drink again. The time I got arrested and woke up in a police cell, with no recollection of how I got there, should have been a turning point.

I'm worried that eventually I'm either going to drop stone dead from drinking, or wake up having done something that's completely ruined my life and everything I've worked hard for.

People say that I can be like a different person when I'm drunk. I've tried pacing myself, drinking soft drinks in between alcoholic ones, not drinking, drinking only certain beers, but none of it has worked so far.

My friends all drink but they rarely, if ever, end up doing something they regret. They tell me I just need to pace myself, but I don't think I can do that. I want to stop but I don't want to come across as being Jesus to my contemporaries (no religious offence intended here, I am a Christian).

So, I guess I need to stop totally? How do you find people react when you tell them you don't drink anymore?

RELIEVED!!!!!

But seriously, I stilll hang out with many drinking friends, and my first excuse was it was a health issue....which it was, because drinking was harming my health and putting me in situations like fights and behind the wheel where I could have killed myself. And I did alot of physical harm to myself while drunk over the past 27 years.

But then I really found sobriety and started enjoying it. So I started making jokes about how I had tendonitus in my elbow so I had to quit drinking.....I bent it so much for 27 years I was letting it finally heal.

Now after 2 years, I don't say much unless I'm asked, and I tell people I enjoy being healthy and being sober is part of my health routine and lifestyle. If people want to know more I normally find that they are struggling with alcohol as well, and I tell them that my life is much easier and much more rewarding sober, and I want to lengthen my lifespan.

Now all my friends know me as the sober healthy guy, and most come to me to help them when they have alcohol related problems or health problems in general. So for me it has been a very positive experience.....which I did not expect when I first made the decision to live sober.

[Bob100]

Hello Everyone

Hey lagataloca - we do have quite a selection of non-alcoholic beers, ciders and wines. There not always widely available in pubs/bars but supermarkets and specialist online retailers usually have a good stock selection.

Mootsbill - how are you getting on? We sound like we have very similar drinking patterns, I've felt like I could really use another drink to perk myself up when I've had a really bad hangover, something I've done before on weekends away but always makes it worse in the end.

DfromCT - are you still doing well?

Supercrew - I like the idea of getting into fitness, I've hired a personal trainer, overhauled my diet and taken up a couple of fitness classes, so I'm looking forward to getting into good shape.

I think you're right as well that a lot of people would probably like to not drink, or feel they need to anyway. I've never heard anyone say they enjoy losing a day of their life to a hangover before

That's something else I don't like as well, you go and 'enjoy yourself' for maybe 5-6 hours on a night out, and then a whole day is wasted - can't be worth it, even if you are 'in control' if that's even possible.