To begin I've had a week of ups and downs, dealing with PAWS. I think my subconcious was playing with me as we had plans to go out to an outdoor festival with friends last night and there's booze, bands, food you know the scene. We have 3 a year at this venue and last year I was totally, totalled at one. It was right after losing two of my best friends within 2 months of each other and I was an emotional wreck and was drinking my pain away.
I think subconciously I was nervous to go, not because of the booze but fear of running into ppl from last year. Well, we went and we all had a fantastic time. My wonderful friends did not even question me drinking water, bless them, they know the struggles I've had. But this time my laughter is deeper, my eyes are brighter and I don't feel deprived at all. My hubs drank and that didn't bother me, we had so many laughs.
I did run into ppl from last year. A couple who are great friends mentioned how drunk both my hub and I were last year, but not in a negative preaching way, but with a look of sorrow and understanding in their eyes. They knew how badly we were hurting - but that we were dealing with it the wrong way.
I drove home and was on top of the world with feelings of love, freedom and support. It is amazing to have a fantastic night,come home and read and have a restful sleep. Especially waking up the next day with no shame, anxiety and mystery bruises.
For those just starting out, be your own best friend and do what is right for you. We are not depriving ourselves, we are loving ourselves :l
I think subconciously I was nervous to go, not because of the booze but fear of running into ppl from last year. Well, we went and we all had a fantastic time. My wonderful friends did not even question me drinking water, bless them, they know the struggles I've had. But this time my laughter is deeper, my eyes are brighter and I don't feel deprived at all. My hubs drank and that didn't bother me, we had so many laughs.
I did run into ppl from last year. A couple who are great friends mentioned how drunk both my hub and I were last year, but not in a negative preaching way, but with a look of sorrow and understanding in their eyes. They knew how badly we were hurting - but that we were dealing with it the wrong way.
I drove home and was on top of the world with feelings of love, freedom and support. It is amazing to have a fantastic night,come home and read and have a restful sleep. Especially waking up the next day with no shame, anxiety and mystery bruises.
For those just starting out, be your own best friend and do what is right for you. We are not depriving ourselves, we are loving ourselves :l
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