Sick of my routine-going to change it

[Raven2012]

Sick of my routine-going to change it

Ironic Lola, I slipped too. Never had hangovers and had an awful one. Lesson learned. Glad your back at it, so am I. Feel great today. House is cleaned out over here too.

[Raven2012]

Sick of my routine-going to change it

K9Lover;1361306 wrote: Hi Lola!

You sound strong right now, keep up the good work. Cranberry and sprite sounds yummy! I can relate to your self loathing in the middle of the night. I used to wake up with my mind shouting at me "YOU ARE GOING TO DIE"...there's no way my body could handle 12 beers and a pack of cigarettes per day. Maybe it wouldn't have happened this year, or even next, but I doubt if I would have seen 50! The thought of leaving my daughter behind because I chose to kill myself slowly was enought to finally wake me up. I envisioned her step-mother helping her into her wedding dress, and that made me mad, I said "OH hell no, that's my job!" (This was all in a dream) But I woke up resolved that yes, I would survive to see her grow up (God willing).

So...do you have some ideas for what your new routine will be? For me it was staying out of the house the first few days, since I only drank at home. Then it was making small changes at home, moving furniture, move a lamp...anything to make my drinking "spot" look different. Let us know what you've come up with!

Stay close, and stay strong. You CAN do this!

K9

Hi K9

When you shared this with Lola I also took it to heart because I have a six year old girl. Thanks so much for your upbeat attitude, it's helped me a lot in these early days. You obviously have a long time of healthy living behind you so great job. Thanks for taking the time to come back and share your knowledge with those of us just starting out.

PS, very cute pictures, are those candids? I've always liked the spontaneous shots better than the "posed" so much more natural

[Lola01]

Sick of my routine-going to change it

Happy Wednesday all. Just checking in. Been booze free and feeling good. Have big kid bday this weekend which will keep me busy and should be great fun. We have the worlds largest slip and slide and I asked some other moms and dads to come and stand watch for a little while - we rotate and this way we know one kid goes feet first one at a time - I've seen some kiddos with serious thrill seeking issues and I don't want to send anyone home with a broken collar bone....ok..safety first...but anyway...one mom said..."sure..can I bring a six pack and a koozie ...sounds like fun". Didn't quite know what to say...but I had an Intersting reaction. Instead of being worried about my own sobriety, I was more worried about how I tell this mom that that's not appropriate for a kids bday party. Feels like each day it is less about me and the booze. Hoping to keep all of this up. Sobriety is the coolest thing ever. School year begins soon so it's back to the university for me. Whole new (old) set of triggers....building a plan now around not buying booze and what to do instead...will keep y'all up to days as plan evolves....how is everyone? :thanks:

[K9Lover]

Sick of my routine-going to change it

Hi Lola,

The mom wanting to bring the beer would have suprised me too. Even in my heaviest drinking days, I never drank around anyone...just at home alone on the couch with the dogs (fun, huh?) I remember doing the Slip and Slide when I was a kid. Our lawn must have had rocks or something, because it was more of a Slip and Bump. LOL

Today is the first day of school for us too...my daughter and I both hate it. Not a good way to start out the year, but so be it.

Good luck on your party this weekend, I hope none of those little daredevils get hurt on the slip and slide...some grass burns are inevetiable, but hopefully nothing too serious!

K9

[Mootsbill]

Sick of my routine-going to change it

Hi Lola,

Well done for staying sober and picking yourself up after the slip ;0)

X

[Lola01]

Sick of my routine-going to change it

Hello all. iPad is restored and back in my little iPad obsessed hands so I'm back now. Hope all have had a wonderful week. Just to report, I had a two beers with my bro in law last week at dinner time. I had kind of just planned on that and then did it. Didn't think much if it...I am not so disappointed with myself although maybe I should be? I feel like I'm in a much better place lately and have never been so AF and sober and feeling great. Worn has started again though and I find I need to keep eating at witching hour. I had a bad craving the other day and instead of doing the usual, I grabbed a bundle of empty calories via fast food...did the trick but not a good long term plan? Healthy food woukd probably have done the trick just as well but what the heck. So how is everyone? Do tell...thinking of you all and wishing you the best.....

[Raven2012]

Sick of my routine-going to change it

Raven2012;1367324 wrote: Hi K9

When you shared this with Lola I also took it to heart because I have a six year old girl. Thanks so much for your upbeat attitude, it's helped me a lot in these early days. You obviously have a long time of healthy living behind you so great job. Thanks for taking the time to come back and share your knowledge with those of us just starting out.

PS, very cute pictures, are those candids? I've always liked the spontaneous shots better than the "posed" so much more natural

Hi K9

I'm wondering if you saw my post.
I'm sure you're busy but I just wanted to make sure you knew how much I appreciated your kind words. Best, Raven.

[Raven2012]

Sick of my routine-going to change it

Hi Lola

So glad to hear from you and glad you got your ipad back!

First of all, how are your kids?

How is work?

Is your family appreciating you more? Are they noticing a difference?

How about work? Are you feeling better or about the same?

I am just wondering as we are about in the same phase and I am feeling some appreciation at home - mostly from my kids I must say. They are always so sweet to me and I've been spending more weekend afternoons with them sitting on the floor sorting out toys and clothes. Just playing really and then planning weekends to come. And with work I'm more proactive. Sensing when things need to be done and putting things on the calender and commiting to deadlines whereas before I was more noncommital. No one has said anything - its too soon of course but I feel better and more in charge but my kids are all over me when they come home and are so excited to see me and thats the best. I've been super happy.

Tell me how things are going for you Lola, I know you've had a lot of big changes too.

[Lola01]

Sick of my routine-going to change it

Great to hear from you raven. I am happy. For you and you sound great. I am doing well also. I have had some craving s when I don't take my supps at which point I load up on junk food. Got to remember to load up in supps each am. Once a day seems to work for me. I am feeling better all the time and feel less preoccupied with booze also. Yes...more time for family and ths is so nice. I wonder if they do notice a difference. They probably do but kiddos are still young and if they did, I think they would have a hard time articulating what they are experiencing. Lots of recent changes anyway with going back to school (and work for me). Changes are all good ones. I am grateful for each day of healthy and clean living and I am a less stressed and happier person more generally. Phew...did I need that! Your story is further encouragement to me t stay on the oat of 'riteousness'. Nothin beats being sober! Oh and I shou,d say, my husband has noticed! He has congratulated me but I don't like to talk about it much. Maybe that will change and I'll get more comfortable talking with hum about it. In any event, his acknowledgement is precious to me. Keep in touch friend!

[K9Lover]

Sick of my routine-going to change it

Raven2012;1370712 wrote: Hi K9

I'm wondering if you saw my post.
I'm sure you're busy but I just wanted to make sure you knew how much I appreciated your kind words. Best, Raven.

Hi Raven!

Just saw your post! Sorry I missed it earlier...the boards are so busy I feel like I miss a lot! Thank you for your kind words. I hope you are enjoying your little girl, they grow up SO fast...mine is now 15 (next week) and I really miss the "little" her....wish I hadn't spent so much time drinking, but I don't dwell on it. The past is over and all I can do is make it better from this moment forward.

I'm glad to see that you are happy! With sober time comes even more happiness! It's not easy getting sober, but it's so worth it, and you'll never regret it.

Keep up your great work!

K9

[jenniech]

Sick of my routine-going to change it

Hi all! just a quick hello on this my 18th AF day....it is a holiday weekend here so I am not looking forward to it....still suffering cravings but still managing to stay away!!! I just keep telling myself that the cravings don't ever last as long as a hangover....someone said that on another thread and it has really stuck with me!!

[Lola01]

Sick of my routine-going to change it

So true jenn...you go! Bet you are feeling great. I slipped again. Something inside me just said screw it. Feel like crap today but now the booze is really all gone (had a 12 pack of beer for entertaining last weekend...hadnt had any if it....then...boom...last night i had the 6 that were leftover). So you see jenn, your words ring very true for me today.
I am going to shake this off. I have been doing really well and I have been feeling sooooo much better. I am going to focus on my success and soldier on. Going to take my supps and have a healthy breakfast. Then it is off to paint a rental. Think I will bring some music, have some alone time, and reflect again on my plan going forward. Also plan to write it down!!!
Can I also say that over the last several years I have had this recurring disturbing dream! In the dream I am driving a car that starts rolling backwards down a steep hill. It is terrifying. I can't really see where I am headed and I try to hit the breaks but they don't work at all. All I know is that I am going to crash ..I'm not sure what I am going to hit or exactly when the collision will come, or if I will survive it...it is inevitable and i struggle to no effect and just feel, terrified, helpless and hopeless.......GEE...we really don't need Freud for this one do we? Well, I haven't had that dream since I stopped drinking.
I will not go back there. I will not drink today or tomorrow or the next day or the next. Let's do this girls! (and guys). Keep reminding yourself why you want and need sobriety and how amazing it is. It so much better than boozing. So much better!
Best to all.....

[Lola01]

Sick of my routine-going to change it

Ah renewal..great AF day. Hope you all are having one too!