Need to stop

[Texas40]

Well, I have found this site like so many others....I know I am an alcoholic and I need to finally do something about it. My story: I am a 40 year old mother of two amazing boys....I am embarrassed to say that I have been an everyday drinker for 10 years! Where the hell did the time go? I started drinking in college, like everyone else in my life. My parents (who divorced when I was 7) both drank everyday - not really to the extreme that I do though. I got married at 24 and my husband and I have always enjoyed drinking together. Sometimes I think that is the reason we are the only couple out of all of our friends that have not divorced! Well, somewhere along the line, my weekend drinking became more and more days out of the week and then every single day. I drink beer only - but I have gotten up to at least 6 to 8 beers a night. I am only 5 feet 2 inches tall and 110 pounds....really way too much beer for someone my size. And I can typically drink them down faster than most men I know....almost like I am scared if I don't get it down quick someone will take it away! I have the shame that everyone seems to have. I go to bed feeling guilty and wake up feeling guilty, but somewhere throughout the day I will talk myself into having my beer as always. Another thing...I am a smoker too. I hate both of these killers! I started Chantix two days ago and am planning to be free of cigarettes by next week. I am a little more afraid about giving up my beer. I did only have three last night...very good for me. I am planning on having no more than three tonight as well. The problem is, I know I need to give this up for good but I am terrified! My family drinks, all of my friends drink, my husband drinks! I am so scared I do not have the strength to be around all of these people who drink so often and not imbibe! At this point I am definitely planning to moderate, but I am hoping by reading all of the amazing stories on this board I will find the strength I need to give up the beer for good!

[Lavande]

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Hello & welcome to MWO Texas!

You have found a great place, lots of support & good info can be found here

I started out by downloading & reading the MWO book (it's in the Health store here).
I have to tell you that I highly recommend the Hypno CDs as well. They were very helpful in teaching me to relax without AL on board

Make a good plan for yourself using whatever you need in the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

If you find you want to try to moderate, get some good AF time in first. I thought I wanted to moderate too when I started but I changed my mind during the first 30 days. I finally got honest with myself & had to admit that one or two drinks would never be enough for me, never was. Turns out it just all around easier for me to remain AF. See how you feel!

Why don't you drop in the Newbies Nest thread for on going support!
Wishing you the best!

Lav

[Mootsbill]

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Hi Texas. I am too terrified of going completely af, the irony is i actually really enjoy being sober and do weeks at a time now after being a heavy drinker throughout my twenties and thirties. But it is the peer pressure which at 40 or nearly as I am we should really not be worried about!! But it's society, have you read Jason vales book on quitting, this book isn't realistic for raging alcoholics and self medicators but I think if you are generally happy and alcohol is a bad habit gone wrong it could be for you.
Good luck, I am on a 30 day af, fingers crossed as I have some big nights out coming up! Xxx

[K9Lover]

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Hi Texas!

You may be my long lost twin! I will be 40 this year (yikes) and I have been drinking for at least 10+ years. I loved my beer, at least 12 per night. Oh, and the beer led me to smoking. Well I've quit drinking, but the smoking is still a *slight* problem. uch:

I've gone to bed too many nights and woken up with the G/S/R Brothers the next day (guilt/shame/regret). I finally couldn't take the anxiety anymore. Scrambling to see who I called, texted, emailed. Living in dread and waiting for the backlash of my actions. Hiding all day from the phone/computer because I just didn't want to know. Not to mention the dangerous stuff, driving drunk, or wandering off into the neighborhood.

I'm very glad you've found us. You are NOT alone! Whatever you've done, someone here has been there, done it and has the T-shirt to prove it!

Stick close. We can help!!

K9

[Marhall]

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Hi Texas, I found this site last week, and think it is the best thing ever. I dont think I could do it with out the support here. Just checking in and writing everyday helps, as it is a reminder nNot to drink,a nd why I have chosen that path.

K9lover, I know those feelings of looking at the phone and hoping to christ that I did'nt phone/text anyone, usually I had. Then turning off the phone because I was to embarrassed, and avoiding it all was my way of dealing with it.

Good luck wishing you the best.

[mauritiusdodo]

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Hi Texas :welcome: I am a 43 year old mother of 2, I have been drinking 'too much' for over 20 years and joined this site last year, I have had lots of attempts to quit and to moderate and still not entirely decided which is the best path for me, I am still trying my best to have as many AF days as possible and I have found the support here overwhelming, I hope you find it as helpful as i have

[jenniech]

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Hi Texas
I am 48 yr old mom of two boys 12 and 15.....I have been in and out of here countless times....but this time feels different for me.... I wish you well on this journey!!

[Texas40]

Need to stop

Thank you all so much for the replies! It really does help to know that I am not the only one out there dealing with this. I made it through last night with only 2 beers and I only had 5 cigarettes yesterday. Trying to cut back on both at the same time isn't fun, but I would rather get it all done at once. I know I need to have some AF days. It honestly terrifies me! When the clock starts rolling around toward 4 I already start to panic if I have told myself not to drink that day. I always make plans to coincide with my "happy hour" and I have missed out on countless opportunities to do fun things because alcohol wasn't going to be involved. I feel like such a mess! Very scary to wake up and realize all of these years have passed and I have spent every night downing my beers. I have such a wonderful life! I really have no idea why this started. I have been a stay at home mother for 15 plus years....I am thinking maybe getting a job might help take my mind off wanting a drink so bad. I know I have to get serious and change my life. Sorry to ramble...I just really don't tell the people in my life how bad I really am!

[Wagoneer]

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Hey Texas - right there with you. I am a 40-SOMETHING mom of 3 girls and know exactly what you are talking about. Stick close to the boards. You can do this. It is hard, but worth it. We've got each other's backs here

Love Waggy

[Pinecone]

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Hi Texas, I'm glad you found your way here! Alot of your story sounds so familiar to me. I used to drink lots of beer too, everynight, but I was "successful" (on the outside) as far as the rest of my life went. Just because we didn't end up homeless because of our drinking doesn't mean we can't have a totally different type of rock bottom. My rock bottom was an emotional/spiritual type of event. I had a realization that I wasn't being everything I could be for my family. I was letting them down everyday, and truly realizing that was powerful.

Please try to let go of your fear about missing "great" drinking opportunities. It was one of my hang ups too. That fear is an illusion, a trick that the addicted brain is playing to keep a steady supply coming. I had to learn alot of stuff about sobriety to be successful. One of the things was learning to identify "The Voice." This is different from the real me, the one that mustered up the stregnth to search for a solution to my drinking.

Learning about these concepts might help alot (really helped me understand what is going on).
Urge Surfing
Witching Hour
Euphoric Recall
H.A.L.T. (Hungry, Alone, Lonely, Tired as prompts for drinking)

For me, quitting drinking has not been about loss at all. I feel like I have gained my life back. And like anything worthwhile, it was damn hard at times, but that's why we support each other.

[christyacc]

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Texas40;1361244 wrote: Well, I have found this site like so many others....I know I am an alcoholic and I need to finally do something about it. My story: I am a 40 year old mother of two amazing boys....I am embarrassed to say that I have been an everyday drinker for 10 years! Where the hell did the time go? I started drinking in college, like everyone else in my life. My parents (who divorced when I was 7) both drank everyday - not really to the extreme that I do though. I got married at 24 and my husband and I have always enjoyed drinking together. Sometimes I think that is the reason we are the only couple out of all of our friends that have not divorced! Well, somewhere along the line, my weekend drinking became more and more days out of the week and then every single day. I drink beer only - but I have gotten up to at least 6 to 8 beers a night. I am only 5 feet 2 inches tall and 110 pounds....really way too much beer for someone my size. And I can typically drink them down faster than most men I know....almost like I am scared if I don't get it down quick someone will take it away! I have the shame that everyone seems to have. I go to bed feeling guilty and wake up feeling guilty, but somewhere throughout the day I will talk myself into having my beer as always. Another thing...I am a smoker too. I hate both of these killers! I started Chantix two days ago and am planning to be free of cigarettes by next week. I am a little more afraid about giving up my beer. I did only have three last night...very good for me. I am planning on having no more than three tonight as well. The problem is, I know I need to give this up for good but I am terrified! My family drinks, all of my friends drink, my husband drinks! I am so scared I do not have the strength to be around all of these people who drink so often and not imbibe! At this point I am definitely planning to moderate, but I am hoping by reading all of the amazing stories on this board I will find the strength I need to give up the beer for good!

:welcome:

OMG!! I feel like I wrote that myself! Except I am 41 and have 3 girls, am heavier and taller! However, everything else is the same!!!

I would really love to hear how you are doing. I have had one day AF, but yesterday, day 2 managed to drink. I would really like to rid myself of this demon!!!! I have to put more into it.

Good luck, and keep me posted!!!

[K9Lover]

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Hi Texas!

How are you doing? Please let us know!

K9

[WickedMom]

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Hello Texas,

Just wanted to say welcome and hope you are doing well today! Finding this place is a fantastic opportunity to help you in your desire to quit drinking! I?m in my late 40?s and have 2 young boys. My drinking problems started in college too.

I can really relate to the fear you have of giving up alcohol when all the people around you drink. My family, friends and husband all drink -- some more than others but at every get together AL is present in some quantity. I couldn?t imagine not being one of the drinkers. Like Lav I decided to give 30 days a try and during that time, I also realized that for me one or two drinks would never be enough. Without making any solid commitments to myself to stop forever I just kept going. I did my best to ignore my husband when he had his evening drinks. (Now he drinks MUCH less than he used to and has pretty much given up hard liquor all together).

In the beginning I spent LOTS of time reading here, I avoided all parties and stopped having people over. I concentrated on myself and my kids. Today my house is so much calmer and my life is so much more fulfilling. I am finally able to enjoy social occasions without too much fear of giving in. I admit that the first few minutes can be a bit awkward -- but once I?ve rejected the drinking offers I and everyone else seem to forget all about it. Just wanted to let you know that it is possible to break the habit!

Sending you strength -- You can do it!

[jenniech]

Need to stop

ME: late 40s, two boys
nothing drastic in my life has happened to make me quit but i know one thing: When drinking, I am only truly happy when I don't think about how much I am drinking. If I moderate and only have one or two, I am miserable. If I drink without keeping track I fall, or I slur my words, or I repeat myself over and over and probably look like a complete messy idiot and I never remember the next day - which I might add, is just one big waste of a day because I am so hungover....so, what is the point??????
that is why I am here......

[Raven2012]

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Hi Ladies,

I am new to this forum and so much of it hits home with me. I have a nice husband, lovely children and have been home and also at the office but something about motherhood has flipped a switch with me and alcohol. I'm finding it with my friends as well, many are very well educated and some work and some don't. Is it the lack of control that we face hour to hour that - I think for me, was the huge change, that precipitates this? As moms have kids later, we get used to saying, ok, I'm scheduling this activity at this time and having more control. And babies change that. For me, with a colicky infant, I would after 7 hours just walk out on the deck and leave him crying in his crib. I'd be crying too! Giving up, with a glass of wine at 4:00PM.

What is it about motherhood that does this. My mothers group even has a 4:00PM get together every Friday called "moms night to whine" where everyone brings a bottle.

Hardly helping the problem!