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[scottish lass]

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What similar stories - I am 50 (this year), two amazing girls and a very good career - and a major drinking problem. I am amazed that I can manage to do so many things, but giving up drinking is beating me!
Raven, I used to be part of a FB page that was Moms who love wine - they have T-shirts and lots of hints, tips etc on how to manage to drink and carry on with everything else - a bit like the opposite of this site - I gave that one up for this one!

[jenniech]

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Yes all of our stories seem to be the same. Day 6 under my belt but I am weak .... The weekend will be hard...that is my first goal and then I will try for 30days and then reassess....goodnight!

[scottish lass]

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Jennie - hang in, you can do it!! We started MWO togethr and are still struggling to kill this beast. I got 16 days under my belt and sadly this morning had to post that I was starting again. Don't do it, you can get thru this weekend and you will be so very happy - starting all over again sticks and I so wish I was posting today was day 18, but instead it is day 1 - hang on really tight!!

[mauritiusdodo]

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scottish lass;1362647 wrote:
Raven, I used to be part of a FB page that was Moms who love wine - they have T-shirts and lots of hints, tips etc on how to manage to drink and carry on with everything else - a bit like the opposite of this site - I gave that one up for this one!

Really - can't believe what groups some people set up LOL!!

[jenniech]

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Thanks so much Scottish Lass!! I can't believe I am on day 7!! Aside from being pregnant, this is the longest I have gone without alcohol since my law school days in the late 80s!!!!!! (OMG, I am OLD). Anyway, I have a bunch of mixed emotions I am sorting out. Yesterday, I picked up my 15 year old son from camp. He had been away for 2 weeks. It was so good to see him!! But it being Friday, I was having a very stressful witching hour(s). So I picked myself up and went to a yoga/meditation class at the gym. Well, that killed the beast for that hour and 15 but as soon as I came home, the voice was screaming in my head. But then i got a call from my 12 year old son who is at sleep away camp for the first time. I was kind of frustrated because he answered my questions with just a "yes" or "no" , etc. I wasn't getting alot out of him...I knew he was homesick and so I didn't want to dwell on how much i missed him, etc. so i kept it cheerful...I thought he was just distracted and wanted to get back to all the fun.....witching hour(s) still happening at this point but I thought to myself....I have gone all week AF, the LEAST i can do is be AF the first night my other son is home so I struggled through. Woke up at 3am and realized that the reason my 12 year old was so short was because he was probably crying but didn't want me or anyone else to know it. I FEEL TERRIBLE. I was so worried about myself and my own stupid vicious cravings that I was not completely focused on my homesick little boy. So tossed and turned last night feeling like a self centered ass. And so now today my brother who lives 1 hour away is having a family party. I will be the designated driver but I feel my defenses are weak today!! I guess I just have to remember that i am really NOT being selfish by focusing on my AF days....that in the end, I am doing this as much for my family as I am for myself but geesh, this stuff is HARD

[Raven2012]

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I think its like all the sorority parties in college, some make it through some don't

scottish lass;1362647 wrote: What similar stories - I am 50 (this year), two amazing girls and a very good career - and a major drinking problem. I am amazed that I can manage to do so many things, but giving up drinking is beating me!
Raven, I used to be part of a FB page that was Moms who love wine - they have T-shirts and lots of hints, tips etc on how to manage to drink and carry on with everything else - a bit like the opposite of this site - I gave that one up for this one!

I just remind myself of all of the parties that ran rampant and endless drinking a young people drank in college, it was an acceptable way of coping with a new phase in life. And I see it with motherhood, where margaritas are served at the park and in backyard playdates. A lot of moms get throught it just fine, but I'm afraid I'll be the one passed out upstairs at her sons graduation party. I feel like I'm missing these special years of my kids lives but I have no real push. My husband seems oblivious, my work is going fine. My children are pretty young and I tend to confine it to when they are in bed. But I hate how I feel about myself as a mother. How do you get to the point where you just say enough?

[jenniech]

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new day one:bang:bang:bang:bang

[Raven2012]

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Hi Texas,

It's been a few weeks and I wondered how you were doing. It seems like you were trying to conquer a lot at once, drinking, smoking and the environment may not be in your favor if you've got friends an neighbors that visit and are having fun in the evenings. Is willpower alone enough? Can we help with some suggestions or medications? Or are you doing just great - thats also a good reason if you're not checking in

If you have a minute, hope you can say hello

[jenniech]

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Hey Texas...I too have been thinking of you... Hope you are ok...and listen, do you know how many new day ones i have had? Don't give up .... it is worth it.... sometimes it just takes a while to get to the point where you are ready....I have been a member here since February 2011 and my current string of sobriety is the longest ever...so it took me quite some time before I could manage more than a week sober. It is hard but worth it

[jenniech]

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oh, and how could I be so stupid? my AF date is 8/12, NOT 8/13 which is what I put on my signature.....will change promptly

[TexasAg]

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Howdy T40!

Just bumping your old thread, but if you're looking for Baclofen advice, it's probably best to start a thread in the meds section.

Topamax, Campral, Naltrexone, Baclofen, other meds - My Way Out Forums

Sending good vibes to you!

[Texas40]

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Thank you Tex! I actually went back and read through my old posts today and it was hard since I am in the exact same place. I really know I need to pick a start date and get moving on this.....and I know I am facing something that so many others have faced....how to pick a date? I have so many things coming up that will involve alcohol...I am in a wedding in a month and we have her bachelorette party the first week of february, ski trip, husband's President's club trip, beach trip, etc. I know I will always have something looming ahead though and it will never be the "perfect" time in my mind. I am just so scared that I will be in so many situations in the next three months that will be putting me in a situation where I am around an abundance of alcohol and there is no way to take myself out of these events. And here I go rambling again! I just want this monkey off of my back and want to take control again! It has been too long since I have had control. I am disgusted with myself that I have ended up here.

[TexasAg]

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T40 I'm with you!

I knew I had to change my drinking habits, but I really didn't want to. I enjoy having beers, relaxing by the pool, playing golf and drinking, travelling and getting buzzed and having a generally good time. The problem with me is that it I wasn't just getting buzzed anymore. I was drinking to drink and finding any excuse to do it. The last few years I was hitting a switch and blacking out. It sucked because I didn't know when it was gonna happen, after 8 beers or 5 whiskeys...4 wines, I just didn't know, and even if I wouldve known when to stop, I wasn't going to. I couldn't.

I started Baclofen in July and just had my first sober Christmas and New Years in 25 years. I don't drink against my will anymore. That is the difference with Bac. I had a few binges while titrating up to my indifference "switch" but now it's a great feeling not fearing going to family functions or company dinners or events. It was great not being too hung over and snowboarding with the kids.

Sending prayers and good vibes your way!

Cheers!

(If you're interested in Bac, there are veterans in the meds threads that have way more experience than I do, so you might want to start a thread there.)

[Texas40]

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Thank you so much for responding again. It really does help to know I am not alone in this. This is truly such a lonely disease and it is comforting to see others who are thriving after struggling with alcohol. I have fortunately never blacked out...which is shocking actually. I can put so much beer away on vacations, weekends, etc. Heck, I put several away every night but for some reason I go no holds barred on those special occasions...if the weekend can be considered a special occasion. I have seen others that look at alcohol as a reward and I know that is how I have always looked at it. And sadly, this sounds terrible, but I truly think I started to drink to excess out of boredom when I quit working to stay home. I love my kids more than anything, but the day to day was somewhat boring years ago and that is when this started to get out of control. I went to my doctor today and chickened out speaking with her regarding the Bac. I have to quit worrying about being embarrassed admitting my problem to her. It doesn't really help though that I guess everyone in my life refuses to believe I have a problem. I do hide some beers, but I typically just drink them all out in the open in front of everyone I know. Sad to say, but I am pretty sure I am not the only one in my circle of family and friends that is a problem drinker.

Again, I am rambling on. I am definitely gearing up to make this change though. I spend more time with the guilt and shame than actually enjoying the drinks. There is no sane reason for me to keep up this cycle. I will take your advice and post something on the meds board. I am a little afraid I might not be able to get my dr to prescribe me the Bac but does seem to be something that I want to do.

[FlyAway]

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Welcome T40! :welcome:

Sorry I missed your thread the first time, but I too could drink more than the men I hung out with. Something I was proud of in my 20's but I'm now in my 40's and it's not so cute anymore! :H You are right, there will always be something going on that you can use as an excuse to drink. But you can also go to any party, wedding, event, whatever, and not drink too. I think someone suggested it upthread, but read Jason Vale's book Kick The Drink Easily. It addresses a lot of our skewed beliefs about alcohol and society's expectations. It helped me a lot. Best of luck to you.