Amy Winehouse

[Raven2012]

I never paid much attention to Amy until the 2008 Grammys when she swept them and snatched up a Guiness World Record for a Brit Female. After that I became a fan of her wit and sound. Her death last year hit me because her fame hit its peak just as I was I was hitting my peak of drinking. 2008. She sang "Rehab" to the world and I felt like it was just for me. Then I went back and listened to her origional songs "Stonger than me" (Nobelo prize winner) "Back to Black" Title song to the Cd "Love is a Losing Game" Lyrics were chosen as a study for students at Cambridge Univeristy as poestry.

As time went on I felt like I was rooting for her to get better, she kept faltering but I thought, oh girl, just give it your all, and when she passed away last year I think that really had an impact on me on how an amazing amount of talent can be lost to alcohol.

I think her passing has really had an impact an impact on me as I can't listen to her music anymore with joy. It's all sadness and I listen to Adelle or Lady Gaga or someone else whose alive and passionate about what they do. It's just a reminder about how alcohol can extinguish a shimmering light from the brightest of talents.

I am wondering if there are any other any other Amy Winehouse fans out there like me.

[Guitarista]

Amy Winehouse

Hi Raven,

Yep, i loved Amy's work. She had a great voice and i liked her expression of a lyric.

Tragic loss.

[mario]

Amy Winehouse

Taken from a tweet
Source: Getty images

?I told you I was trouble,? Amy Winehouse sang, ?You know that I?m no good.?

For me, that?s the most poignant lyric she ever wrote. It sums up the mind of an addict. You see, it wasn?t a brag; it was a mixture of ?keep away? and ?help me?.

How do I know? Because not so long ago, I was Amy Winehouse.

For most addicts, there?s a constant presence on your shoulder telling you you?re not good enough, that somehow, you?re ?less? than everyone out there. Your thoughts go round like a washing machine on high-speed. The noise in your head is constant, loud and harsh. It doesn?t matter whether you?re a rich and famous popstar, or Mary Taylor in Islington, homeless and sleeping rough in a shop doorway; it?s that same mindset. Alcohol and drugs are merely the medication.

Addiction isn?t fun. Addiction isn?t ?Let?s go to the pub and get pissed and have a right laugh? or ?Let?s get ****ed on drugs and get up to mischief?. Addiction is lonely, terrifying and insidious. Oh, sure, you start out like everyone else, a few drinks here and there, a dabble or two in something a little harder. You don?t realise when it stops being fun, but it does. Suddenly you find yourself alone in a room, afraid to go out, because ?outside? is too damn scary.

So you take that hit, and for a short while, the noise stops. Peace through oblivion. Then you come around and the noise starts again, louder this time, and coupled with the anxiety, fear and terror that come with withdrawal. So you take another hit. Sweet, blessed relief. And somewhere in the back of your mind you hope you don?t wake up from this one. You?re nothing but trouble, you see. All you cause is pain and worry.

I read a fantastic blog by Russell Brand today, in which he said:

?When you love someone who suffers from the disease of addiction, you await the phonecall. There will be a phonecall. The sincere hope is that the call will be from the addict themselves, telling you they?ve had enough, that they?re ready to stop, ready to try something new. Of course though, you fear the other call, the sad nocturnal chime from a friend or relative telling you it?s too late, she?s gone. Frustratingly it?s not a call you can ever make ? it must be received.?

The problem is, addiction is the only disease in existence that tells you that you haven?t got it. Lock an addict away and they?ll be looking for an escape, or biding their time and playing the ?yes, I?m fine now? role until they?re alone again. I?ve had people in the kitchen pouring drink away while I?ve been climbing out of the bedroom window on my way to buy more.

I?ve been a day out of hospital after being found in my flat, hours away from death, and already I?m figuring out where I can get hold of some gear. I believed the booze and drugs were giving me something. In fact, it was the opposite. They were hollowing me out, alienating my friends and family and slowly stripping me of all that was real and good.

Sadly, all the love and support in the world wasn?t going to help Amy get better. She was trotted out on stage at every opportunity to make money for her record company. She didn?t have the luxury of being left alone so she could*get better. Contracts had been signed and albums were due. Her star had to keep shining, and all the while the press were snapping at her heels, waiting for her to fall again.

I can?t imagine anything more frightening than the whole world waiting with bated breath for me to **** up.

Yesterday evening, people shut down Facebook and Twitter, still in shock and disbelief at this tragedy, before heading off down to the pubs and clubs for a well-deserved blowout.

Mary in Islington sits down in her shop doorway, begging for a few coins to get a can of beer. Just a little something to help take the edge off. You might have seen her last night, she may have come up to ask you for some change, desperate and devoid of pride, but like a lot of people, you probably looked away, annoyed and uncomfortable.

Sunday morning rolls around, and half of London wakes up with a hangover. Some might even still be going. iTunes seizes the opportunity to promote Amy?s albums on its homepage to make some cash, and somewhere in Islington, an ambulance arrives to take away the body of a homeless woman found dead in a shop doorway.

And all over the world, recovering addicts wake up and pray to a God they?re not even sure exists for the strength to stay clean one more day.

The world carries on. Then somewhere, a phone rings.

__________________

[Raven2012]

Amy Winehouse

Thanks for your replies and some very good insights.

I read that Amy had severe stagefright and was comfortable in small intimate venues but larger ones made her panic. She never really wanted to be famous. Just kind of stumbled into it. The drugs and alcohol helped her get up on stage but as she got more and more famous and the stakes got higher, she couldn't cope. If she'd seen someone for panic disorder and managed that instead of just hitting the bottle it might have turned out differently.

Then the failures and embarassment of falling apart on stage. We all have bad nights but imagine the magnitude for a famous person. Perhaps if she just stuck to the studio and small venues she woudn't have suffered so much. She was really brilliant. It's very sad but there must be a lesson in there.

[Nursie]

Amy Winehouse

I was an Amy fan.
Mario, thanks for posting that. Sadly I got that phone call. Well for me it was a knock on the door.

[Guitarista]

Amy Winehouse

I got the phone call too.

A few years ago now. The mother of our son. Sadly, the little fella didn't make it through birth.

She overdosed a couple of years later, and was found in a car in an inner city laneway. After not being able to find her in that last week, i was half expecting a phone call, and it came. Not from her, but her father.

I know that if we can share our pain, our journey somehow, and find support, we can make it. Life is so huge, with so much to love. Life is worth living, and everyone is worthy. Take life back.

[Raven2012]

Amy Winehouse

Mario, Nursie, Guitarista, thank you. What a tragedy to lose someone before their time and not be able to help. I can see how it happens though. There are some people that resist help and in such an adamant and abusive way that you have no choice but to hang on there, pray and hope for the best. In some cases, for your own protection and your families, you need to cut them off.

Those are the worst days and I'm so sorry it ended badly for you but your positive outlook is to be admired. I am new to this community but it seems like a place that people feel safe to tell their stories and not be judged. Amy always seemed to have love but, sometimes even that is not enough.

[Raven2012]

Amy Winehouse

When I speak about these worst cases, I don't want to imply that I am speaking about your loved ones. I only know about this from my neighbors and what they have been through with their son who was privleged but very difficult to control. Whatever the situation, whether you are close or distant, the sense of not knowing day to day must have been hard. And as Mario said, they are often impossible to get through to.

I hope Guitarista that you are blessed with another child because you have probably developed the patience for one now! An Nursie, it sounds like you are well on your way.

[mario]

Amy Winehouse

Guitarrista;1366867 wrote: I got the phone call too.

A few years ago now. The mother of our son. Sadly, the little fella didn't make it through birth.

She overdosed a couple of years later, and was found in a car in an inner city laneway. After not being able to find her in that last week, i was half expecting a phone call, and it came. Not from her, but her father.

I know that if we can share our pain, our journey somehow, and find support, we can make it. Life is so huge, with so much to love. Life is worth living, and everyone is worthy. Take life back.

Terrible sorry to hear that Mr G :l It is also a reminder that everyone that comes to this forum has had there own very big problems to,Sometimes we can forget that long term posters here were or are in the same place that the newbies are now,And are dealing with the everyday hurt and sadness that this horrible addiction inflicts as much as everyone else here.