I've been lurking here on and off for at least year, but right away I bought some Kudzu, Aminos, and 5HTP which provided some much needed relief but not long lasting because, well, you know how it goes. I was looking for a quick and easy fix for my problems but not ready to jump in with both feet for the long haul and didn't continue or go farther with the MWO way.
My story with drugs and AL go way back to my teens and now I'm 50 but I was able to manage 4 years of white-knuckle sobriety back in my early 30s with the support and fellowship of AA, and again about 6 years ago went 6 months AF (but not DF) by iron will amazing myself and family.
I've had some health probs, mostly intestinal, which ended up with me under the knife followed by a financial rollercoaster ride that was too good to be true at the start and sure enough ended badly-- which was the the straw that broke the camel's back and lead to a really scary mental and physical breakdown.
I went to the doc and got on Antidepressants, then referred to counseling and was diagnosed with anxiety and ADHD as well. I was still consulting after I sold what was left of my drowning business so the 6 mo AF was good but I still like the weed. I had to stop the weed when the US economy tanked for fear of not being able to pass a drug test to get "a real job". That resulted in me going back on the AL and I haven't really been able to go AF for a full day except under extreme circumstances since then.
I got on a health improvement kick in March of 2011 when I stumbled across the Habit Guide which has been an enormous help. I learned to change my diet from processed crap in a box to mostly raw, whole fruits and vegs, reversing some of the damage and at least delaying more body rot for the short term.
It was also about that time that I began exploring the connection between nutritional deficiencies and substance abuse so I got really serious about vitamins/herbs/minerals along with the organic and whole foods. That search eventually landed me here to MWO and I am more hopeful for the future now I than I have been for a long time.
Frankly, the pattern drinking and substance abuse over the years has ranged from not so terrible, to the wife being sick of looking at me and my grown children wondering what happened to the dad they used to know.
Up until just 2 weeks ago I gradually built up to where I was drinking 8-12 beers on weekdays and 15-20 on most weekend days, staring early while working around the house. My current job is very demanding so I can't do any type of hair of the dog, but I gave up shots about 2 years ago as a general rule after simply having too many blackouts Once in while I may have 1 or 2 shots, but my buddies mostly respect my no shots rule after seeing what they do to my 160LB frame.
The good news is coming back here to MWO on a regular basis, along with consistent nutritional improvement, is motivating me to reduce, reduce, reduce. For the last 2 weeks, I've been down to about 2-3 daily beers and 6-10 on the weekends. That's cutting consumption by more than half, I'll take that as a win for now.
I don't have any set goals or definate plan yet, but I am going to order the MWO book and CDs and get back on the Kudzu, because it really seemed to help back when I tried the quick fix. I don't know if I will be able to mod, so I haven't ruled out abs, if that's what it takes then I am willing. I will not resort to the Medical establishment for Rx, there is no way this is going on my permanent record.
The MWO philosophy is something I can really get my arms around, there is no cookie-cutter approach to recovery, and this is the most holistic DIY program I've seen.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading.
-HD
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