Week No. 2...day 8 AF

[Slaythefear]

The completion of that one week mark has a certain psychological sense of accomplishment like a mile marker. If I can do one, I can do two! I noted in another thread Nelz talked about gaining traction through saying no and succeeding. It's true. You gain confidence and self respect with each disciplined and won goal that feeds you to continue on. No, no, I am not getting cocky; I know the challenge remains and the habit and thought processes will take much more work. However, I am happy I have managed to pass this first week while flipping off my temptation throughout the week. I have hope that life holds much more than the illusion that alcohol creates in each moment.

Thanks to all for this site and your posts. They can really be a life jacket in rough seas.

One turning point for me was a text message I received from someone while intoxicated at a bar. She said, "remember, someone will be devastated if something happens to you." The next day, I read the text and it slammed me like it had never done before. I have a 21 year old daughter and losing me would do so much damage to her life. How selfish of me. I felt so sad in that moment and vowed to really work and stopping this insanity I've been caught up in. Just thought I'd share that for any other mom's out here. She wouldn't be the only one devastated, but she is a young girl, and I brought her into this world. I have a certain responsibility to not hurt her selfishly.

Have a good AF day everyone.

[Slaythefear]

Week No. 2...day 8 AF

Ok, so that disclaimer about cockiness? Yeah sure. Yesterday was tough but I made it through as far as not drinking, but boy did the waterworks begin...even into this morning. I'm thinking when you don't reach for the bottle or hit the social network at the bar you don't cover up any pain, emotions or conflicts that you've been drowning out. I have a lot of issues to work out. I may have Niagara Falls in my home before this is over with or better. I better buckle up for a long journey.

I watched some Rain in you heart off the general discussion board last night and that was not only sad on its own, it opens up areas of our alcoholic lives and things that have brought us to that point. After viewing the ten clips, I found another Dr. that I found interesting and I have similar views. I posted one of his videos on the Rain in the Heart thread and research thread, but this one may, also, pertain to some of you. I know it does to me. I've know this for some time and it made me very sick for a number of years and I still fight this problem.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrNxvpTDo_s[/video]]Gabor Mate on the hidden cost of stress on peoples' health. - YouTube

Day 9 and still determined to move forward even though the ride may get rough.

[Slaythefear]

Week No. 2...day 8 AF

Day 11

Beginning yesterday, day 10, I began feeling better. The sadness left and I had a good day. I felt happier, more hopeful and really no cravings. We went to have dinner and I was offered a drink and said no and didn't really even want one. That sure feels good! I went to the health food store and picked up some powder L-Glutamine, B-Complex and and Amino Acid supplement. I took a half tsp. of L-Glutamine which equated to 2500mg in cranberry blueberry juice and it knocked me out. I went to sleep for two hours and could hardly get up for our dinner plans. That night I took only one third of a tsp. equating to around 1700mg and it did help me sleep. It has a very calming effect, so when I find my proper dose (still need to take less at a time), this will be a very helpful supplement for anxiety.

Today, Day 11, I had to get up very early to get my husband off to his two week business trip and I feel calm, peaceful and content today. (We are getting along better, too, with me being calmer and more in control.) I hope this continues, but I want to work toward a bit more energy without the anxiety. I'll work through my L-Glutamine dosage and add my B-Complex in today.

Maybe I'm through the worse of the withdrawal now. Yiiipeeeee to that if so!!! Day 14, the two week mark approaching and then on to Day 30. I even feel like my mind is clearing up a bit. I can think better. The L-Glutamine seemed to shut that down a bit, but I think as stated above, that I'm just taking too much at a time for my needs.

Best to all who are on this journey! :thanks: for being here.

[Getting real123]

Week No. 2...day 8 AF

You are an inspiration. Great posts!

[Slaythefear]

Week No. 2...day 8 AF

Oh, yes, Molly. It's great to feel better. You really aren't yourself when you are caught up in the madness of alcohol addiction. It's amazing what we do to ourselves and others. I am happy to hear the physical symptoms should be over...whoa! Some of those days were wicked with anxiety and depression. I wanted to go to sleep and not wake up for two weeks. I suspect everyone has mental issues to deal with in life. At least I'll be able to deal with them and do it logically and in a healthy manner now.

GR, thank you. It's a privilege to get better and be able to offer others some hope. It helped me to read others struggles and from bad to good stories, so I want to share mine for others as well. We all help each other. What a great place!

[Prairie Fairy]

Week No. 2...day 8 AF

The L-Glut will actually help with the cravings you will face from weeks 2 - 6....even though they are head cravings - they help. The L-Glut almost immediately alters the sugar/energy ratios in your brain if it's in powder form - takes a bit longer in capsules because those have to melt first...and it will actually truly help those cravings. My longest quit would have been nearly impossible without the L-Glut. I started carrying either capsules or the chewable squares (like sour candy) from GNC in my handbag - because I found my AL lizard brain would play crazy games to try to get me to drink - get addicted again - and without those at the ready in a form I could carry - I'd have been doomed earlier.

My down fall was not that - but the head fake of I can successfully mod at like day 36 - 40 - can't remember exactly - and someone ordered a pitcher of Bloody Mary's at brunch. That's it. One lousy Bloody Mary. And it was ALL OVER.

[Imaginary Girl]

Week No. 2...day 8 AF

Slay, you are doing great! I know the sadness to which you're referring. I felt, and still do to a degree, the same sadness and I wonder if it has something to do with my metabolism changing. My hormones seem way out of whack, too. Anybody have some words of wisdom on that?

Keep up the good work!!

IG

[Slaythefear]

Week No. 2...day 8 AF

Prairie Fairy;1372678 wrote: The L-Glut will actually help with the cravings you will face from weeks 2 - 6....even though they are head cravings - they help. The L-Glut almost immediately alters the sugar/energy ratios in your brain if it's in powder form - takes a bit longer in capsules because those have to melt first...and it will actually truly help those cravings. My longest quit would have been nearly impossible without the L-Glut. I started carrying either capsules or the chewable squares (like sour candy) from GNC in my handbag - because I found my AL lizard brain would play crazy games to try to get me to drink - get addicted again - and without those at the ready in a form I could carry - I'd have been doomed earlier.

My down fall was not that - but the head fake of I can successfully mod at like day 36 - 40 - can't remember exactly - and someone ordered a pitcher of Bloody Mary's at brunch. That's it. One lousy Bloody Mary. And it was ALL OVER.

Hi PF. I just took my first dose of the day with a B-Complex and Cal/Mag supplement. Starting to feel a little anxious, so went straight to the bottle. I used to take L-Glutamine in powder form many years ago for what they diagnosed as a leaky gut. I had taken too many antibiotics and developed a host of problems from doing so. L-Glutamine seems to be helpful for many things. The drinking doesn't do our digestion or anything in our body any good, so I'm glad I picked up a bottle. Appreciate the advice to help me make it through my continuing journey.

I completely understand that moderation slip up. I just posted to Molly in another thread that I've finally realized I just can't moderate. Never have been able to and I am ready to admit I just can't. It gets a hold of me and off I go again into all that chaos, mess, quilt and shame not to mention all the physical symptoms. I don't even live when I'm drinking. I'm drunk or feeling lousy. Wow! What a life. For some reason, I have hope and excitement to move on and live right. Hope is so magical!!! We'll make it together.

IG, thanks, again. I take medication for depression as well. I'm on Lexapro and tend to cycle a bit, but I haven't been alcohol free in five years, so maybe I can stabilize this time. On day 8 and 9 I was a weeping mess, though. I believe that was the withdrawal going on. Stay tuned to see how it all pans out. For now, I'm stable and smiling. :thumbs:

[Slaythefear]

Week No. 2...day 8 AF

OH and IG, I'm definitely entering into menopause. I have all the signs, so if you are of that age, it could be having an effect. I'd try to sort through all the things going on in your life and what other areas can be contributing. Is this sadness new for you or something you've had awhile, just sense giving up alcohol, do you suffer from depression, or even issues coming to the surface that alcohol once drowned out. So many things...

Here's a big hug!

[Prairie Fairy]

Week No. 2...day 8 AF

Hi IG and Slay -

Interestingly - I'm in PeriMen - and one of the things they can test you for easily - is a D3 deficiency. This is HUGELY common in heavy drinkers and hugely common in Perimen - so you can be double whammied.

It's easily fixed - a D3 (not any D- but D3 specifically) supplement - typically better as a soft gel - taken every day religiously - will have some of the mood fixed if it's caused by the nutrition within 8 weeks.

You can impact it faster by hitting a tanning bed - but skin cancer runs in my family so that wasn't an option for me when they diagnosed me as insanely critically low. The nutritionist said it was almost certainly contributing to depression and mood swings at that level and in fact told me that between it and my B deficiencies (also common in heavy drinkers) I needed to take a high B supplement, a D3 supplement , and add a high dose Pro-Biotic.

Interestingly - she said there was increasing evidence that people who were vitamin deficient would be able to absorb supplementation more rapidly by increasing the good pro-biotic colonies in their digestive tract.

It took 3 months - but with the pro-biotics, vitamin B supplement, and vitamin D supplement, all levels reached near normal from critically low.

When I moved - I stopped supplementing and starting drinking heavily - and very rapidly found myself feeling like crap again. But I've been supplementing again for a month - and I'm feeling 100 times better already - so my vitamin stores weren't nearly as depleted.

You may find relief faster than you expect. It's a simple nutritional panel to run...they just test all your vitamin levels in your blood...you would have results back in a week or two...

[stumpy]

Week No. 2...day 8 AF

Slaythefear-You are doing excellent. Keep it up. I can't wait to get there! I guess my Dr. who is working with me during this quit believes in the MWO too because he has given me every supplement that MWO offers. I hope it all works out.

[stumpy]

Week No. 2...day 8 AF

PF, you are correct. I'm in Peri in a major way. I'm on 2000 L.U.'s of D3. If your doctor finds your D to be too low, he will give you 50,000 L.U. a week for a certain period of time and then put you on the D3 vitamins.

[Slaythefear]

Week No. 2...day 8 AF

PF, yes, I've been tested for Vitamin D deficiency and the doctor found I basically have none. I supplemented with a script for 50,000 for a couple months and then made it back to borderline numbers. I switched to a fish oil with Vitamin D after that, but then I stopped again. I know right now I am low because I am white as a vampire and stopped the supplements. My drinking and responsibilities always seem to take center stage to taking care of myself. I have blood work sitting on my desk that I'm supposed to take after a fast that is three months old. It has Vitamin D on it again. I have vowed to kick this drinking problem and take better care of myself, so the Vitamin D is on my list. Thank you for reminding me. I should have picked up some with all my other supplements at the Health Food store. My current Fish oil has no Vit D in it. New life and habits all the way around to address one step at a time with resolve and discipline.

Stumpy, you have it in YOU!!! This is one thing we can all do if we have the resolve and determination and tools to do the work. It's not like a talent that we don't all have. This is something we can all do. How great is that? Knowing you can do it. It is obtainable. You go girl!!!!

[Slaythefear]

Week No. 2...day 8 AF

Day 12 and although I was very tired yesterday and not fighting a drink craving, I certainly had a sugar tooth monster on my back ALL DAY!!! Yes, I was taking the L-Glutamine, but that craving would not subside. I did give in to it, but today, I told it to shut the H*** up! lol I was tired this morning (seems to be a big problem still), but after a cup and a half of coffee I am now coming out of the impairing fatigue. I feel rather euphoric, too. That is such a great feeling. I always felt bored and numb without getting a buzz. It's nice to have a real life buzz without the alcohol. If day 13/14 are better than this, I'm in baby!!!!

I turned on my Pandora an hour ago and am listening to Sinead O'Connor and have no alcohol craving. Usually when I turn my music on, I want to have a drink with it so I feel it more. Well, well, I'm back to feeling it without the alcohol like I once could. Isn't that something to celebrate. I'm not crying or craving a drink. I say this for all you newbies struggling. You CAN do it!!!! Punch that monster in the face and step right past it.

Here is a lyrics from a song that was playing onSinead's channel. I thought it was applicable, so I'll post it. I really like her music.

Sinead O'connor
Feel So Different lyrics
Send "Feel So Different" Ringtone to your Cell
(Sinead O'Connor)

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference

I am not like I was before
I thought that nothing would change me
I was not listening anymore
Still you continued to affect me

I was not thinking anymore
Although I said I still was
I'd said "I don't want anymore"
Because of bad experience

But now I feel so different
I feel so different
I feel so different

I have not seen freedom before
And I did not expect to
Don't let me forget now I'm here
Help me to help you to behold you

I started off with many friends
And we spent a long time talking
I thought they meant every word they said
But like everyone else they were stalling

And now they seem so different
They seem so different
They seem so different

I should have hatred for you
But I do not have any
And I have always loved you
Oh you have taught me plenty

The whole time I'd never seen
All you had spread before me
The whole time I'd never seen
All I'd need was inside me

Now I feel so different
I feel so different
I feel so different

I feel so different
I feel so different

______________________________________

I'm starting to dream about life more...about the joys I can find in it completely sober and being myself. I'd, also, like to add for those who don't take time for yourself and your needs, do it. Most often if you don't take it, no one gives it to you. YOU need the me time. It's very important. Not me time to get drunk, but me time to be with yourself and learn to like yourself and know that you have needs you must meet for your own life to be happy.

Go team! We can all win!!!

[Slaythefear]

Week No. 2...day 8 AF

Day 14...Yiipeeeeeee!

Day 14 AF, and I don't want to turn back. I started feeling different on Day 12 and it has continued into Day 14. I still am battling with Anxiety in the afternoons into the evenings for some reason. Yes, I'm taking the L-Glutamine. I have cut out down on my sleep meds and stopped taking Benadryl which helped with that when it popped up, so that could be part of it along with no numbing alcohol adventures, but I'll work on that separately. I think I need some deep breathing exercises and training in learning to breath through life events. That may be part of it. One day at a time and steps toward each problem along the way.

I read this for the first time last night on a different thread and thought I was reading my own post/thoughts. I feel just like this, so if Supercrew made it through, I'll be sister Supercrew.

"I won't drink today *because*
Originally Posted by Supercrew
I also changed my subconscious to honestly believe that I hate alcohol and I never want to drink again.

This doesn't usually happen overnight, but it can, and it still takes daily action and focus. And the focus can't be on "poor me, I can't drink", because that's just a lie. The focus should be on happiness and how lucky we are to be alive and living a sober healthy life for you and your family. I can drink anytime I want to, but drinking causes me pain so I don't want to drink. It's my choice not to. I feel empowered by that decision.

You need to focus on why you don't want to drink and the benefits of sobriety every morning when you wake up, and embrace those great feelings and visualize your health and your personal life sober. Then no matter what promise yourself that you are making the choise to stay sober, healthy and happy today. Don't focus on anything else but today.

It takes daily action, and it takes work, but it pays off in the end. There are no reasons to drink, only excuses. If you make a plan and take daily action, and everytime that voice pops in your head tell it to go to hell today because it is trying to keep you addicted and mentally obsessed with drinking poison, you will be able to accomplish this.

If you decide that it's not important and drinking poison is more important than your health and your family then you can choose to continue drinking, because that's all it is, an easy daily choice that we get to make. I choose to be sober and happy. Now quit beating yourself up and feeling sorry for yourself and make a choice and embrace it."






*AF is allowing my head to clear and my life to become more productive. I'm hopeful again for the future and beginning to love life again. What a great feeling! WE can all do it. It's just to great of a reward to not get there. Here's to success for all!