New here and amazed

[Green Eyed Lady]

Hello, I found this site last night and have not been able to break away from it since. I am so happy to have found you all. I have been reading and crying all day. I have found so many here that I can relate to, I cant believe it. I had no idea that there were so many others who have been drinking like I do every day. LOL I really don't know anyone personally who drinks two liters plus of wine every day. So I am happy to know that I am not alone and that there is hope for me. I want to cut back

I recently joined a diet site that allows you to track your calories daily and I was so shocked to find out how many calories I have been drinking. Funny because I have always joked that I'd rather drink my calories than eat them....I just had no idea how many calories I was downing. Maybe 800 at the most in food and 2000 in wine or champagne. I really need to cut back.

I own a shop and run a web biz and I also have two teenage girls and two boys in their 20's at home and a wonderful dh who does enjoy a drink once in a while but could care less if he could never have another and loves me unconditionally, we never talk about my drinking.

There was a time when I would shop with my credit cards while drunk and spend a ton of money, then I was drunk and didn't pay the bills on time and then the rates rose and finally I quit paying them, I just drank more everyday. I haven't used cards in 5 years now but I am still ignoring the phone calls from the creditors. DH is always mad at me for turning off the phone or the answering machine, it stresses me out so much to hear the creditors call that I go into a panic attack. I need to take control or do something positive instead of drinking but I am scared

Wow, ok so that is part of my Hi I'm new here.... and the rest of the Hi is that tomorrow I am going to try to cut back significantly and for the month of March. and I need your help.

I really admire you all here and cant tell you how great it is to find a family who can truly relate!

Hugs to you all!

Trying to Overcome

[Rags]

New here and amazed

Well, Green,
Let me be the first to welcome you to MWO.
You'll find a lot of warm friendly people here to give yoy lots of help and support.
Have you sat down and started to work out a strategy for yourself on how you are going to tackle your alcohol intake? That is a crucial part of cutting back or going AF.
You need to work out what to do when you feel like a drink, identify the various cues and triggers and so on, and have some sort of plan for when those urges start up.
Please see your doctor, explain that you are a heavy drinker, you are going to curb your intake (notice the subtle use of language there) and need help, (Campral, naltrox etc.) and monitoring. It really isn't as formidable as it seems in our head.
Start looking forward to it. I'm on 600 calories a day less than I was in Dec when I joined. Now that's something to be enthusiastic about, rather than saying to yourself (and reinforcing) oh I've had to give up drinking. (Again, look at the language again.... see a bit of a pattern?)
This is probably more than enough for a welcome post. WIll post later to you about some of the other things you mention.
Rags aka Banksia integrifolia

[Arial]

New here and amazed

Welcome!

Hi Green Eyed lady,

I'm also new here - joined a while ago but it took some time to get my act together and actually start participating - so well done for having the courage and determination to get stuck straight in! - A first step! A great supportive group here who have all taken those first steps and know what it's like - I'm only on day 3 AF and counting - not easy but what i'm finding helps is setting those goals - what do you want to achieve rather than drink? Look beyond the alcohol and see where you want to go - your journey forward and many here to help you on your way!

:welcome: Arial

[Green Eyed Lady]

New here and amazed

Thank you for the welcome Rags, I will work out the plan as you suggested, I did order the supplements today, as for seeing a doctor, well that would be my last resort. I will lorder meds online first. Hoped the suppliments might help enough.
I am really worried about the lack of energy and such, I also take phentermine quite often to help me stay alert.
Anyway, thank you again Rags, I REALLY appreciate the help.

[ScoobyDoo]

New here and amazed

Rags and Arial, I love your positive attitudes!

DooDoo

[Green Eyed Lady]

New here and amazed

Arial;101458 wrote: Hi Green Eyed lady,
... - what do you want to achieve rather than drink? Look beyond the alcohol and see where you want to go - your journey forward and many here to help you on your way!

:welcome: Arial

Congratulations on day 3 Arial and thank you for the question, which is a good one for me and most helpful. There are so many things I have not been achieving because of drinking. And today is the day to make the change! Because Yesterday I determined to make that the day and well.....I looked at my bank account and had to run to the bank to make a deposit and you know the bank is just up the road from the liquor store and yes I gave in to the liters of Merlot once again,,,,,however today is a new day with new determination and new friends!

[Green Eyed Lady]

New here and amazed

[QUOTE=Rags;101457]Well, Green,

You need to work out what to do when you feel like a drink, identify the various cues and triggers and so on, and have some sort of plan for when those urges start up.

I think I pretty much know the triggers when trying to be AF but could use some help on the plan.....what do you all do when you feel like a drink, what plan do you have in place for when those urges start up?

Great questions Rags that I'd not thought about.

Hugs!
planning to overcome

[stoatqueen]

New here and amazed

Hello and welcome, you sound really nice. Good luck with your journey, it can be a rollercoaster but soooo worth it. I was a mess when I found this site and a squillion times better now.

Best wishes Sx

[Rags]

New here and amazed

OK Green, For example, 3 triggers for me are preparing dinner and / or sitting down to watch TV, and when I'm on computer.
Last first. I now have a rule for myself which is, if I'm going to drive the keyboard, I don't drink. Simple. I don't spill anything on my keyboard, I get to use both hands to type, and when I'm in MWO for example, I owe it to other members here to be sober when dispensing advice or in chat.
Now that I'm a fairly regular MWOer, I spend a lot of time reading posts and in chat, so that really doe s help to take care of the TV aspect. BUT, a couple of weeks ago when I mentioned this in chat, one of the people there (sorry forget who) suggested blaming the TV and seeing how silly and funny it was eg: "Naughty television. . It's your fault. You make me drink" See how crazy that is? But at the same time it it is lightening up on ourself as well, not chastising.
Similarly " Oh my God !! This lettuce is forcing me to drink a glass of wine !!". It starts to work over a very short time and you start to see the associations or triggers we have are all cleverly devised in our heads.
Give it a crack. Humour can be very powerful. But you also need to have the serious will powery bit to help it along. Try it for a couple of days on a couple of your own cues and see how you go.
And remember, approach this in chunks you can manage, with reasonable timeframes. Don't try to do it ALL at once.
Rags

[Rags]

New here and amazed

Oops, and learn to love Adam's Ale (water), V8, a variety of tea blends, etc
There's a post here somewhere someone started last week asking what everyone drank.
I said G&T without the G and with a dash of lime. See if you can find it, as it is quite informative.

DOO DOO
Thenk yew for your PM and kind words above.

PS That's a Banksia integrifolia in my front yard. My avatar that is. (You'll both catch on to me and colours and Aussie native stuff soon).

[Ripley]

New here and amazed

Hiya G E L

:welcome: to this wonderful place. I can only echo what the guys have said above, but to chuck in my two penneth, going cold turkey is VERY VERY hard. I found this site about 3 weeks ago (I'm a 2 bottle of wine a day girl) and was super excited and motivated. Thought "right that's it",went to the heath food store and bought the supps, geared myself up to "resist" the booze and.... guess what, it didn't work. I cut back a bit (some days...), but I wasn't addressing the issue of my brain wiring being all scrambled from years of daily drinking. Plus having all sorts of little cue and habits hard wired in too.

Rags is so right - you have to make a plan for this: read the book, get the hypno tapes, kudzu, drugs if you want them (I got them on line) and really think about all those triggers. When everything is in place, then start. You wouldn't set off on a hiking trip without the boots, climbing gear, map, tent and other supplies... don't try to start this journey without being prepared. It only leads to feeling like a failure, when you reqally have nothing to blame yourself for but having screwed up brain chemistry.

I am now on day 3 of being AF WITHOUT EVEN TRYING... this is after nearly 3 weeks of "failing". Stay with us G E L - it will be good.

Glad to have you on board kate x

[Rags]

New here and amazed

By the same token you don't want to try to pack so much gear into your pack all at once that it loads you down too much, and you can't even lift the thing onto your shoulders, let alone start on the hike to alcoholic freedom. (Like I did when I did part of the great west highland way in Scotland in 97.... lotsa pubs on the route as I remember).
Maybe do a couple of trial walks with your day pack, you know, set a day when you won't drink, like today which is Kanga day (read special events on main page), or I will reward my self for not drinking before 8 pm. When you find you can do it, go for a bit more, build up your faith in yourself by proving you can do it, bit by bit.
Then when you find out that the only thing holding back is yourself, go for it.
Make this journey fun, exciting, a journey of adventure, something to look forward to, something you WANT to do. When your attitude starts to change, so will you.
Raggsy the Banksia bush

[Green Eyed Lady]

New here and amazed

checking in

Thank you to everyone, heres what happened on my first day of trying to cut down...LOL My mom showed up at the shop with two beers....ok no biggie, then it was lunch time and she went home and brought back lunch with a bottle of champagne...which we shared....then I had to get to fam committments and on the way.....well dh called and big ordeal ....chest pain but not heart attack, he was crying cuz the pain was so bad....thank god my sons were home cuz I had to get to my daughters... sons came took dh home, I went to take care of daughters...at a meeting where All hell broke out. I was told...This was not the meeting to be late at....excuse me but dh was having chest pains. Dont worry His heart is better than OK. dont know why the pain...but he is ok now...so anyway....got back home after all the School Drama and drank prob 5 glasses of wine. then went to sleep.

All the while thinkng about the new friends here....that was nice....and thinking that soon I wont be drinking as much.

Next day was great a couple of beers and that was all...to busy with daughters and school stuff...oh and I had to sit for two hours and wait for one daughter to come in from out of town....and actually said no to all those urges to drink while waiting. That was totally new. LOL and I dont know why it is but just reading all of your stories some how made it something that I could do.

Today...well, pretty much back to normal with a small cut back...4 beers during the day and emptied the red wine tonight....5 glasses.

so I just wanted to check in and to thank you all for the help and let you know I truly value your advise and help and inspiration....I need it so.

I was amazed at how planning out my drinks had an effect thank you so much rags for that....ok you might not think it had effect by reading what I drank but really it did. LOL

Love and Hugs for helping me on this journey!
green eyed lady

[KatieSmiles]

New here and amazed

Welcome Green Eyed Lady
You've come to a wonderful place.

Hugs

Katie

[KatieSmiles]

New here and amazed

BTW nice shubbery Rags