1 WEEK AF
Today I am celebrating my first milestone, my first week AF. I am celebrating not with alcohol but with good food, good music and my new friends on MWO.
I would also like to share my experience over the past week for anyone starting out or just to remind long term abstainers that they have done an amazing thing and there is absolutely nothing to regret about giving up alcohol.
1 week may not seem like a big achievement but considering I haven’t gone without drinking for this long in years feels amazing to me. My start was just under a week ago mid day Saturday. I woke up with a typical Saturday hangover, fragmented memory of the night before, with horrible feeling of guilt and anxiety. The day started with a call from my parents telling me that they are off on holiday and as usual I pretended like I was feeling great and everything was fine. When we stopped talking I felt like the biggest disappointment on the planet, possibly for lying to them or may be just because I had no one to share my true feeling with. I know I wasn’t the only one who was feeling like this but telling people you are an alcoholic is a taboo because no one admits that they are in the same boat.
Later in the evening I was contemplating going out again just to drown my feelings of guilt and feel better even if for one night. However, I was so physically ill from the night before that even a thought of alcohol made me gag. So I stayed in watching kitchen nightmares. Chef Ramsey looked so confident and BS free that it was inspiring. People on that show were obviously in denial but could not take the truth. Their ego was too precious. Many even said “I would rather go under and close my business than listen to another insult from you”. However, Gordon never meant to insult anyone there, he was just trying to open their eyes and make them see how deep in the s**t they were. This kind of reminded me of my relationship with alcohol. I would drink heavily at least twice a week and often have a few drinks during the week. But I never heard any of my friends; colleague or even my parents tell me that I have a problem. Why? May be to spare my feelings or maybe they were doing exact same thing. I personally never thought that drinking until you pass out on your bed in your work clothes, blacking out, not remembering a single thing from the night before, making out with people you don’t even remember the next day, spending way too much... is a normal Friday and Saturday night. But I could never see an alternative. Stay home? “I deserve to have a good time I would tell myself”.
Well this time I came across MWO. Not even sure how I got here. I remember watching Tony Robbins’ videos to raise my self esteem. Anyway. I started reading a few post and felt like it was someone else telling my story. Words by Dixon really touched me and I decided to join. Sharing experiences is an amazing, empowering feeling. I really feel stronger after I read your posts and when I write mine. Everyone is so supportive and understanding. On day 5 I came so close to giving into my temptation after watching others enjoy drinking and smoking in the sun. I came here and felt incredible sharing my frustrations and reading encouraging comments.
Below I would like to share some things that really helped me through my 1st week.
1 Reading and sharing experiences on MWO
2 Keeping my stomach full. This one is crucial. Every time I was beginning to feel hungry my cravings would come back with a vengeance.
3 Drinking plenty of water. Drinking is like smoking it is addictive. My hands are used to being busy with a drink and a cigarette so every time I desired AL I would drink a few glasses of water.
4 Going to bed early. My sleeping patterns have changed. My body seems to need more sleep. So I try to go to bed earlier.
5 I threw away my lighter and all of my remaining alcohol. If you keep a stash in case you relapse, then you are not really trying to give up.
6 Being prepared. After reading other people’s threads and doing some research on the internet I kind of knew what to expect and was given advice on how to deal with cravings, questions, diet... This is what saved me on day 5.
I also would like to share some physical and mental changes that I have noticed
1 Sweating a lot less
2 My skin got a few spots this week, possibly due to the change in my diet
3 I feel a lot less irritable.
4 And I lost a pound
Now my plan for the weekend is to stay away from any drinking type of environment. I have already told my friends that I will be entertaining out of town guest (a lie that I had to tell them). Have a book by Napoleon Hill (one of the best motivational writers and business personalities out there) and Top Gear reruns (to make me laugh, Jeremy Clarkson is just an amazing character, always brings a smile to my face).
Have an amazing AF weekend everyone.
ALLAN K.
Today I am celebrating my first milestone, my first week AF. I am celebrating not with alcohol but with good food, good music and my new friends on MWO.
I would also like to share my experience over the past week for anyone starting out or just to remind long term abstainers that they have done an amazing thing and there is absolutely nothing to regret about giving up alcohol.
1 week may not seem like a big achievement but considering I haven’t gone without drinking for this long in years feels amazing to me. My start was just under a week ago mid day Saturday. I woke up with a typical Saturday hangover, fragmented memory of the night before, with horrible feeling of guilt and anxiety. The day started with a call from my parents telling me that they are off on holiday and as usual I pretended like I was feeling great and everything was fine. When we stopped talking I felt like the biggest disappointment on the planet, possibly for lying to them or may be just because I had no one to share my true feeling with. I know I wasn’t the only one who was feeling like this but telling people you are an alcoholic is a taboo because no one admits that they are in the same boat.
Later in the evening I was contemplating going out again just to drown my feelings of guilt and feel better even if for one night. However, I was so physically ill from the night before that even a thought of alcohol made me gag. So I stayed in watching kitchen nightmares. Chef Ramsey looked so confident and BS free that it was inspiring. People on that show were obviously in denial but could not take the truth. Their ego was too precious. Many even said “I would rather go under and close my business than listen to another insult from you”. However, Gordon never meant to insult anyone there, he was just trying to open their eyes and make them see how deep in the s**t they were. This kind of reminded me of my relationship with alcohol. I would drink heavily at least twice a week and often have a few drinks during the week. But I never heard any of my friends; colleague or even my parents tell me that I have a problem. Why? May be to spare my feelings or maybe they were doing exact same thing. I personally never thought that drinking until you pass out on your bed in your work clothes, blacking out, not remembering a single thing from the night before, making out with people you don’t even remember the next day, spending way too much... is a normal Friday and Saturday night. But I could never see an alternative. Stay home? “I deserve to have a good time I would tell myself”.
Well this time I came across MWO. Not even sure how I got here. I remember watching Tony Robbins’ videos to raise my self esteem. Anyway. I started reading a few post and felt like it was someone else telling my story. Words by Dixon really touched me and I decided to join. Sharing experiences is an amazing, empowering feeling. I really feel stronger after I read your posts and when I write mine. Everyone is so supportive and understanding. On day 5 I came so close to giving into my temptation after watching others enjoy drinking and smoking in the sun. I came here and felt incredible sharing my frustrations and reading encouraging comments.
Below I would like to share some things that really helped me through my 1st week.
1 Reading and sharing experiences on MWO
2 Keeping my stomach full. This one is crucial. Every time I was beginning to feel hungry my cravings would come back with a vengeance.
3 Drinking plenty of water. Drinking is like smoking it is addictive. My hands are used to being busy with a drink and a cigarette so every time I desired AL I would drink a few glasses of water.
4 Going to bed early. My sleeping patterns have changed. My body seems to need more sleep. So I try to go to bed earlier.
5 I threw away my lighter and all of my remaining alcohol. If you keep a stash in case you relapse, then you are not really trying to give up.
6 Being prepared. After reading other people’s threads and doing some research on the internet I kind of knew what to expect and was given advice on how to deal with cravings, questions, diet... This is what saved me on day 5.
I also would like to share some physical and mental changes that I have noticed
1 Sweating a lot less
2 My skin got a few spots this week, possibly due to the change in my diet
3 I feel a lot less irritable.
4 And I lost a pound
Now my plan for the weekend is to stay away from any drinking type of environment. I have already told my friends that I will be entertaining out of town guest (a lie that I had to tell them). Have a book by Napoleon Hill (one of the best motivational writers and business personalities out there) and Top Gear reruns (to make me laugh, Jeremy Clarkson is just an amazing character, always brings a smile to my face).
Have an amazing AF weekend everyone.
ALLAN K.
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