I wake again with a sore head and a body that aches like i have done 10 rounds in a boxing ring, i head to work after my partner says how is your head ? no idea what time i went to bed but pretty early , still wake feeling like i haven`t slept
I continue to struggle with drinking and not drinking , i can set goals like no booze for 3 months and do it ok then straight back on it as before , i have tried so hard to drink in moderation but i don`t know the meaning of the word . i would love to do a year off the booze to get my life and me in a healthy place and not in the anxiety driven world i live in now , i think only a year will be long enough for this to happen. i want to be fit healthy vibrant and most of all a happy man for my children i want my business to do well and not struggle as i do . when ever i go on non drinking spells i can be very moody and grumpy so i am told and that in itself makes me more stressed with adding the `non drinking` pressure ,so when that hits i normally fall off the wagon and say F@#k it i can have a beer, and off the wagon i fall and quickly into a daily 6-7 beers and a few wines routine. my partner always says why dont you just drink in moderation , most other people including my partner would really have no idea how much booze i put away
SO then comes the reasons why not to go off the booze, like i have a holiday coming up and ALWAYS have a few beers before flying it takes `edge off` you cant also beat sitting by the pool having a few cold ones so maybe i`ll start non drinking after that , but hey then its christmas soon ! or i have a wedding soon so cant not drink at that although i know my partner will be hopping i control what i drink not to make a fool out of my partner etc, then i think why should i take a break from the booze what will people think i dont want them knowing i have `issues` with drinking . and the reasons are endless why i shouldn`t go dry for a while.
I often as the year passes by think i want to end it well and in a good place ,but i often do not as i am always caught up in the crazy world of drinking to much.
Of course i have a choice what to do and i guess to date have made incorrect choices or not had systems in place to manage my moods when i am non drinking i am sure there must be a easier way to manage all this but i havent found it yet.
Maybe some very clear goals on what i want from not drinking like a healthy person body and mind and and thriving business and family but mostly to be able to look myself in the mirror and say i am proud of myself as that is something far from my thoughts right now
anyway i had to share my thoughts thanks for reading
I continue to struggle with drinking and not drinking , i can set goals like no booze for 3 months and do it ok then straight back on it as before , i have tried so hard to drink in moderation but i don`t know the meaning of the word . i would love to do a year off the booze to get my life and me in a healthy place and not in the anxiety driven world i live in now , i think only a year will be long enough for this to happen. i want to be fit healthy vibrant and most of all a happy man for my children i want my business to do well and not struggle as i do . when ever i go on non drinking spells i can be very moody and grumpy so i am told and that in itself makes me more stressed with adding the `non drinking` pressure ,so when that hits i normally fall off the wagon and say F@#k it i can have a beer, and off the wagon i fall and quickly into a daily 6-7 beers and a few wines routine. my partner always says why dont you just drink in moderation , most other people including my partner would really have no idea how much booze i put away
SO then comes the reasons why not to go off the booze, like i have a holiday coming up and ALWAYS have a few beers before flying it takes `edge off` you cant also beat sitting by the pool having a few cold ones so maybe i`ll start non drinking after that , but hey then its christmas soon ! or i have a wedding soon so cant not drink at that although i know my partner will be hopping i control what i drink not to make a fool out of my partner etc, then i think why should i take a break from the booze what will people think i dont want them knowing i have `issues` with drinking . and the reasons are endless why i shouldn`t go dry for a while.
I often as the year passes by think i want to end it well and in a good place ,but i often do not as i am always caught up in the crazy world of drinking to much.
Of course i have a choice what to do and i guess to date have made incorrect choices or not had systems in place to manage my moods when i am non drinking i am sure there must be a easier way to manage all this but i havent found it yet.
Maybe some very clear goals on what i want from not drinking like a healthy person body and mind and and thriving business and family but mostly to be able to look myself in the mirror and say i am proud of myself as that is something far from my thoughts right now
anyway i had to share my thoughts thanks for reading
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