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**Getting real123** · September 7, 2012, 07:01 PM

Hello

Hi Red, Welcome! I am in a very similar situation. Here is the scary part...I stopped drinking about 2 weeks ago and I feel great! It was super hard for the first week and I continue to have hard moments and I still WANT to drink, but not so much that I do. Everyone has a different approach on this site. If my husband is drinking and it looks good to me I will take a sip. It isn't a problem for me, but I know that some people can't even take a sip. I am doing 30 days AF so that I can see how it feels and see if I can drink in moderation in the future. I cleared out all the AL in my house and that helps a lot. I also try and keep super busy. For the first week I was on this sight nonstop. People are so lovely and encouraging. It is really important to remember that cravings WILL pass. Try some candy as AL=sugar. Also, if you slip try and learn from it. You are doing this for YOU and you are definitely in a good place to start.

**kdog** · September 7, 2012, 07:20 PM

Hello

Welcome Red, you have come to a great place with a lot of support, I don't have a lot to offer on day 3 tapering with librium, so far so good, except for the sleep part but I am sure it will come, take it one day at a time, and if need be talk to your doctor about different options. Good Luck and keep checking back with us.:welcome:
Kdog

**stumpy** · September 7, 2012, 10:22 PM

Hello

Welcome Red, two days before I quit drinking my Dr. Asked me to try Naltrexone, just one 1/4 of the pill because most meds do not agree with me. Within 10 miinutes my lips got a little tingle in them and I wanted and tried a sip of wine...BAM! it tasted like pooh, no joke. That med normally takes a few weeks to kick in when you take the whole pill each day. Now, he wants me to try one half of a 1/4. I'm going into day 9 and haven't drank so I'm not sure I want to try anymore meds yet. But it does work.

**allankay** · September 8, 2012, 02:39 AM

Hello

Hi Red,

This site is a great resource and offers amazing support. I came here a week ago and have been AF since. Like you a shame of someone finding out was eating me alive. I was particularly afraid of my co-workers, especially my managers seeing me drunk as I never knew what I was going to do under the influence. So I would have one drink with them and then run home like an addict searching for a fix and drink until I was out. My friends and family though saw me drink but I could be myself around them, however, thy often drunk as much and even more. I think that during this journey I will have to part ways with some of them but there will be new activities and new friends that I have not discovered yet.

When you are ready. MWO will be here for you.

Good Luck

ALLAN

**jenniech** · September 8, 2012, 04:47 AM

Hello

you are me and I am you....closet drinker...this syndrome (disease? affliction? whatever you want to call it) sure does creep up on you!!!! And I mean it creeps for YEARS!!! You are in the right place....just keep reading reading reading and ask any questions that come your way!! I stopped without meds....but that is only because my doctor wouldn't prescribe me any....instead of finding a new doctor that has experience with AL, I just stopped on my own with the help of MWO and AA. I come to the site every day, several times a day...sometimes I post, other times I am just reading away. I also go to AA meetings everyday which help me although I am not a fan of the 12 steps....but just listening to other alcoholics helps me and it is free therapy!! I recommend reading "Drinking, A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp. Good stuff! Best wishes....the beginning is hard but you can do it if you really want to change and get out of the alcohol rut!!!
:welcome:

**RedHeadGirl** · September 8, 2012, 03:56 PM

Hello

Hello!! Wow... What a great welcome!!

Getting Real: I have been spending alot of time reading on here and there does seem to be a great amount of support. I too removed all the Alcohol from my apartment and am trying to do it on my own but Im really struggling with it. The constant nagging seems to be distracting me from trying to enjoy other things I commend you for your two weeks of sobriety. Thats huge. Im at 1 week and its hard, really hard but thats why Im here. I felt a sense of hope, like Im not alone in all this. This seems like its a great place to be

**RedHeadGirl** · September 8, 2012, 03:58 PM

Hello

Hi Kdog. Thanks for the Welcome! Congrats for tapering off Librium. I'm not real familiar with it but I'm slowly starting to see that this is a good place to be. Best of Luck.

**RedHeadGirl** · September 8, 2012, 04:02 PM

Hello

Hi Stumpy. I have been doing some research on Naltrexone and Im really liking what Im reading about it. I think Im kind of leaning towards it. It sounds like your having success on it and that is very encouraging to me. I only hope that wine can one day taste like poo to me as well!! lol I would hear about your progress on it. I think it would be really helpful to hear how someone else is doing. Thanks

**RedHeadGirl** · September 8, 2012, 04:08 PM

Hello

Hi Allankay. It great to know (unfortunately) that someone else has experienced the same kind of shame and embarrassments that I have. I would do the exact same thing. Have one maybe two drinks with friends and then rush one home and drink till I passed out. I hate even thinking about it. I don't feel quite alone but Im sure there are probably many others that feel the same. Thanks for sharing that with me. It really means alot.

**RedHeadGirl** · September 8, 2012, 04:16 PM

Hello

Hi Jenniech. Wow....its so awesome to find others that can relate. It really does creep up. It started out as one glass of wine at the end of a long day to unwind and turned into a bottle of Vodka for me. thats awesome that's your doing it all on your own without medication. Your a stronger person that I am but I'm sure its much more rewarding when you can do it on your own. I unfortunately, have tried, went to AA meetings, tried to change my habits but the desire to drink is just too strong. I can usually go for about a week, maybe a week and a half then I binge for a week. I'm so tired of it. Its just a vicious, never ending cycle so I think I'm going to try the medication route. As soon as I figure out what that is. I'm know that I will be able to get out of this terrible alcohol roller-coaster. Thanks!!

**stumpy** · September 8, 2012, 04:28 PM

Hello

Hi Red, I think you misunderstood my post. I only tried that med for one night, I've AF for 9 days now without the med. I'm calling my doctor tongiht because I think after today (no I did not drink today) I need a little extra help so I may go on the med now full time. It's also my understanding that after using it for sometime, you can stop taking it and the urge/cravings do not come back.

**RedHeadGirl** · September 8, 2012, 05:39 PM

Hello

stumpy;1375569 wrote: Hi Red, I think you misunderstood my post. I only tried that med for one night, I've AF for 9 days now without the med. I'm calling my doctor tongiht because I think after today (no I did not drink today) I need a little extra help so I may go on the med now full time. It's also my understanding that after using it for sometime, you can stop taking it and the urge/cravings do not come back.

Oops. sorry about that Stumpy. lol I should have read your post more thoroughly. I think I'm going to call on Monday and make an appointment with a Dr that I found online in my area. They specialized in this but I noticed that all the ones I found only do the 1 month injectables. From what I've been reading on here most people get it in pill form. I wonder which one is better??? I think with the pill there would be more accountability but with the injection you wouldn't have to think about it. Hmmmm, something to think about..... Definitely let me know of your progress. I really would love to hear how it goes. Thanks

**Rollerblader** · September 8, 2012, 07:35 PM

Hello

Hi Red and welcome. Hope you find this site helpful, there is lots of good advice, ideas, support (and the odd cautionary tale too haha) on here and it's really helpful to know other people are going through the same thing.

Like you I think the alcohol crept up on me, looking back I can see binge drinking in my teens being the start of it all but at the time of course it's just normal, what everyone does, student life etc etc except my friends kinda grew out of it and I just drank more, more often, and had self-enforced periods of abstinence always with an "end-date" in sight when I could go back on a bender; this was obviously to "prove" I was not "an alcoholic" due to having periods of time off. Also completely relate to the "one or two with friends then home for the good stuff" although I didn't always manage that and was often carried home by friends about 9pm after succumbing to the temptation to crash and burn. Also had to "plan" my drinking making sure I had no need to drive or do anything pressing the next day, knowing when I let myself go wild I would be out of action for the next 24hrs or so. It wasn't much fun, on reflection.

Anyway good luck with it all! I'm on AF Day 14 today, first few days were the worst for sure. AF weekends are not as bad as I thought they would be, strangely, although I've been sure to keep very busy. My biggest issues are just finding things a lot more boring, somehow life seems very flat without alcohol, I feel kind of sad and like there's less to look forward to at weekends etc than in the old days when I felt like a "party girl" (although I think everyone else thought I was an irritating drunk and a liability lol). Maybe it's just my attitude? I guess I was expecting by now to be full of energy with clear skin and 5kgs lighter and a happy shiny person full of the joys of spring haha, that's not happened (so far!) but I"m plodding on.

Anyway the purpose of this was not to put you off in any way, just to share my experience that being AF has not been quite what I expected - harder in some ways and easier in others - how are other people finding the first few weeks? Anyone else relate to feeling a sort of loss of "the old you" and finding things just not quite so much fun any more? Or is that just me haha :-) xxx

**RedHeadGirl** · September 8, 2012, 07:57 PM

Hello

Hi Rollerblader!! Im not put off at all, to the contrary. I really love hearing about others experiences. Lets us know were all human and we all are in the same boat. Ive been doing alot of reading today. I think Ive spent most of the day absorbing information. This is a great site. congrats on being Alcohol Fee for 14 days, that awesome. Not quite there yet but almost. Its definitely a struggle. Its weird because before I became an alcoholic I used to go out with my friends and get wild on the weekends and recover like normal people on Sunday and not even think about a drink until the next friday night. Now, I am too worried about getting wild and being found out by my friends and I think about alcohol all the time. I would give anything to go back to that point where I passed the point of no return and take a detour. lol Your right, I to find alot of the things I used to do before I drank boring now and trying to get back to them doesnt produce the same enjoyment as they used to. I guess not drinking almost feels like your loosing an old friend. Im not sure how to get past that unfortunately but Im hoping I can, eventually. I was thinking the same thing about being a shiny happy person but maybe thats going to take some time. I look at it this way, Ive spent many years drinking so its not unrealistic to think that it will take some time for the shiny happy person to come out. Let me know how things go. I think staying connected with people who can relate is going to be really helpful. Thanks

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