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    Happy to be back again!

    I quit drinking and smoking in January of this year. Sadly it is all bitter sweet because my best friend died of lung cancer and I promised her I would quit smoking. Both go hand in hand for me. I was a wine drinker. I managed to drink a bottle and a half a night, sometimes 2 bottles. I managed to hold down a job and live what looked like a normal existence. Both my husband and my son have autism! My husband has Aspergers and OCD, my 14 yr old has high functioning autism and adhd. I was using wine as a way to deal with my stress and I did this for about 10 yrs. I tried so many times to quit and I would always manage 2-3 weeks and start again. I am very lonely and depressed.

    When my best friend was diagnosed with lung cancer, she died very quickly. She was 46 years old and a wonderful person. No amount of alcohol could numb the pain of loosing her. I promised her I would quit smoking and I wanted to do something good for her, in memory of her life. I quit both in January of this year. It was not easy however my life changed so much. My daily tasks were easier to manage and it was wonderful waking up without a hangover every day. I still had to face my problems but I did find it easier without feeling like death. I had terrible problems sleeping however meletonin helps with that problem.

    We went to france for two weeks in August and I decided to have some wine as stress levels were through the roof with my son and husband. Within two days I was back to drinking a bottle and a half of wine. When we got back I promised myself I would stop. I drank at the weekend thinking it would be OK. I wasn't, I was back drinking a bottle and half again.

    I had such a bad hangover on Monday I couldn't go to work. My 5 year old has an ear infection so I couldn't go to work anyway. I also decided to take today off and get myself back on top of everything. I decided the first thing to do was post on here. I often go onto this site and read posts and it helps so much to know I am not alone.

    I never want to go back to my old pattern of drinking! It nearly distorted me. Life is so much better sober and I know I want a happy life for my family and myself. I am never going to find it down the end of a bottle.

    It is a lovely sunny day here so myself and my daughter are going for a walk in the woods after lunch. It would be great to make some friends on here so please get in touch.

    Thank you for taking the time to read me post! :thanks:
    Poppykin

    #2
    Happy to be back again!

    Hi Poppy and :welcome:

    I too lurked on this site for months before posting. It is a great place. My heart goes out to you, life sounds hard.

    Luckily you know that there is no answer in booze and you know you feel better sober so you are already half way there.

    Have you been to the tool box and looked at all the tips there?
    Good place to start.

    One question, does your hubby drink and if not what is his take on your drinking?

    There are lots of lovely people here with loads more knowledge than I but justed wanted to say Hi and welcome aboard

    kuya

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      #3
      Happy to be back again!

      Happy to be back!

      Thanks so much for your lovely post! My husband does not drink, however he is obsessed with his Apple Mac and his bike. He does not seem to have an opinion on my drinking. However our relationship has improved since I have stopped drinking.

      Sadly he is also obsessed with porn sites. When my friend died in Nov 11, that week I found out he was having an on-line affair. He did not think he was doing anything wrong because it was on-line. It nearly broke us up but my friend died and his fling went out the window.

      Everything that happened made me realise how much I love my husband and kids. I think he knows how much he hurt me and we are getting on a lot better now. I have also tried to stop blaming him for everything. He is a good man, he just has a lot of problems, which are not his fault.

      I am delighted I came back on here. I will post as often as I can. Thank you so much again. :thanks:
      Poppykin

      Comment


        #4
        Happy to be back again!

        I see you have joined the newbie thread which is more active now.

        Just a thought about your hubby' s fling, you were in a bad place with your friend's illness and if you were also drinking there were two competitors for your affection.

        I know one of the problem with aspergers is lack of empathy and I think his behavior is more forgive able than in most men.

        I also remember how low my libido was when I drank .... You may have been indifferent to him and men have very fragile egos often.

        Anyway going to bed, and again :welcome: back

        Ky

        Comment


          #5
          Happy to be back again!

          OMG - Just realised that you are in New Zealand. Im in the UK! Everything you said is true! We also had many struggles with our son. However I got him into a wonderful school and he is in a much better place. You also have an understanding of autism which is great!

          Hope you had a nice sleep!!
          Poppykin

          Comment


            #6
            Happy to be back again!

            Hi Poppy!

            Welcome! I saw you over in the Newbies Nest...we're glad to have you. Jump in anywhere actually...there's always a spot somewhere!

            Your story of your friend dying of lung cancer really scared me. She was only 46. I turn 40 next month and I quit smoking 16 days ago. Thank you for sharing your story!

            Stick close to us and let us know how you're doing!

            K9
            :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

            Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

            Comment


              #7
              Happy to be back again!

              Hi K9,

              I remember your posts the last time I was on here. I found them very inspiring. I love MWO! It helps me feel that I am not alone. Thank you for your lovely post.

              Poppy
              Poppykin

              Comment


                #8
                Happy to be back again!

                Hi Poppy and welcome back.
                I'm new here myself and have found a wealth of support! It's been the best thing I've done for myself in a long, long time. I'm looking forward to reading more of your posts and I hope I see you here often.
                K

                Comment


                  #9
                  Happy to be back again!

                  Good morning Poppy!

                  How are you doing today? How did you do last night? The first few days are definitely the hardest because we are so conditioned to drink. Once you break the habit, you will wonder how you ever had TIME to drink! I am on day 17 of quitting smoking, I read somewhere that you can break ANY habit in 21 days....so I'm hoping that's really true! I know it was for alcohol....

                  Remember how bad you felt on Monday with your hangover. Any time I think that drinking sounds "fun", I fast forward to the next day where my head is pounding and I'm scrambling to piece together the night before....fun, right?? NOT. I knew it was time to quit when drinking became harder than not drinking.

                  Let us know how you are!

                  K9
                  :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                  Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

                  Comment

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