I am periodic social drinker but I can abstain and always do if I have to drive a car. Not a day drinker, but, come 8:00 pm, it is time for my rum and coke multiple drinks. I am not going to go into all the reasons I now realized why I drank because they really do not matter anymore. I would rather focus on the reasons NOT TO drink and would love the support of this group to help me down the path to recovery. I turn to the crutch of alcohol each night which became a nightly habit and as Carr mentions, my tolerance increased, and the more I drank. So for 20 years, I have pretty much drunken rum and cokes every night. I have 2 beautiful children that I want to see get married, have children, and share their lives. I know I will not have another 20 years if I continue this path. My spouse drinks a lot less than me and because he travels all week, I have hidden the extent of my problem. Yes, a factor in my addiction is loneliness from being a single Mom even though married. Okay, promised not to go into details.
I have neurological problems from the years of drinking (muscle twitches). I hope this will go away. I am scared if I can do this without a doctor. I have gone days without drinking without issue so hope so. Up until a year ago, my liver tests were normal. The last one came back high. Wake up call!! This brings me to two questions.
I see on one of the forums that many people get medication from their doctors or from the website. I, personally, do not want this to go on my health records if I can help it. Is there anything over the counter that you would recommend and what products on this site have helped you? I do not wait to buy for now as I motivated to start. For those who talk with their doctor, did you find that very beneficial?
Second, I would love to have someone to talk with and the communities support. I would like my actions and lack of drinking to be demonstrated to my kids and husband.
My mantra right now is: I am in control of my mind and my body. I find the little demon on my shoulder comes out at 8pm so I am praying that I remember who is really in control.
SIDE NOTE: I wrote this at 3:00 today. Was afraid to post in case I did not make through the first night. Would I make another excuse to postpone quiting?. Reminded myself my sister cannot be here for her birthday today, I want to be here for my next birthday. It is 8:44 pm and I have passed the ?witching hour.? So I am posting. Also read a post about changing your evening activities, so went for late night walk and I am now on the computer posting to you instead of sitting in front on the TV with my drink to the side. Water for now and earlier to bed. If I do not read responses tonight, I will first thing and let you know how the night went!
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