Hello all!
Well it's time for me to give this a real go. Here you are:
I wasn't much of a drinker as a teen, had actually had some bad experiences with it so stayed away from it until I hit about 19. Then I'd have a few bottles just to fit in and relax with friends. Then we started going out and meeting girls and whatnot, so drinking became the norm at weekends. This eventually led to me drinking a lot more than I would have by the age of about 22, which is 10 years ago now. As far as I remember the heavier drinking began when my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me. Anyway after that I went back to University and got my degree but on the way I started drinking a lot more often, and alone, at home. It began with 1 bottle of wine a night, and now ten years later it's about twice that and some nights more, if there's any more in the house. I stopped once when I got a kidney infection about 4 years ago, and was able to abstain for 4 months. Once it cleared up though I was back buying cheap alcohol. Anyway I've moved overseas since and since then it got worse, as booze is much cheaper here than at home.
I've identified drinking as contributing to about 80% of my problems in life at the moment, and it's affected all my relationships, including family and friends. I'm a teacher and I work in creative spheres too, and alcohol has stunted that side of my career development considerably. I'm sick of waking up hating myself and feeling the remorse and guilt that goes along with it and want to get my brain back to normal. Whatever that may be, I don't actually remember. I also get a lot of social anxiety and find it hard to be around more than one person at a time. Which wasn't a problem growing up. I've identified a lot of the reasons why I drink, and can't blame it on one particular thing, I also had a pretty weird upbringing, and there's alcoholism in my family. Not that I'm blaming anyone else
That's about it, in a nutshell. I've told some family members I'm giving up, to which I got no response as our culture is drink-driven. Which is what I expected really.
Anyway I have trouble usually after about 2-3 days off the booze, I'm coming home from work around 8pm and I always know there's the option to just go buy some crap wine and go home and 'relax', I've recently been getting this hating myself feeling right after paying for a box of wine as I walk home. And last week I started dry-retching out of the blue on this walk on shame. This was before I had got home and drank it. Don't know what that was about.
Also, on the train last night was a drunk man. He had peed his pants and was lying on the floor in a stupor, and I recognized him as a friendly local wino who hangs around our train station. He held up the train for 25 minutes as the police were called to escort him off, as nobody else would touch him to pick him up.
And I don't want to end up like him. I took it as a sign, as I had already resolved to stop drinking for good earlier in the day.
Any help would be appreciated. I try quite hard to eat healthily, and have since probably the age I started drinking heavily. I'm not sure how my body will react to food when it's not mixed with alcohol. I'm not sure what my withdrawal symptoms will be either, but as far as I remember they were more psychological than any major physical stuff the last time I stopped. So what do I do now?
Thank you everybody in advance.
Well it's time for me to give this a real go. Here you are:
I wasn't much of a drinker as a teen, had actually had some bad experiences with it so stayed away from it until I hit about 19. Then I'd have a few bottles just to fit in and relax with friends. Then we started going out and meeting girls and whatnot, so drinking became the norm at weekends. This eventually led to me drinking a lot more than I would have by the age of about 22, which is 10 years ago now. As far as I remember the heavier drinking began when my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me. Anyway after that I went back to University and got my degree but on the way I started drinking a lot more often, and alone, at home. It began with 1 bottle of wine a night, and now ten years later it's about twice that and some nights more, if there's any more in the house. I stopped once when I got a kidney infection about 4 years ago, and was able to abstain for 4 months. Once it cleared up though I was back buying cheap alcohol. Anyway I've moved overseas since and since then it got worse, as booze is much cheaper here than at home.
I've identified drinking as contributing to about 80% of my problems in life at the moment, and it's affected all my relationships, including family and friends. I'm a teacher and I work in creative spheres too, and alcohol has stunted that side of my career development considerably. I'm sick of waking up hating myself and feeling the remorse and guilt that goes along with it and want to get my brain back to normal. Whatever that may be, I don't actually remember. I also get a lot of social anxiety and find it hard to be around more than one person at a time. Which wasn't a problem growing up. I've identified a lot of the reasons why I drink, and can't blame it on one particular thing, I also had a pretty weird upbringing, and there's alcoholism in my family. Not that I'm blaming anyone else
That's about it, in a nutshell. I've told some family members I'm giving up, to which I got no response as our culture is drink-driven. Which is what I expected really.
Anyway I have trouble usually after about 2-3 days off the booze, I'm coming home from work around 8pm and I always know there's the option to just go buy some crap wine and go home and 'relax', I've recently been getting this hating myself feeling right after paying for a box of wine as I walk home. And last week I started dry-retching out of the blue on this walk on shame. This was before I had got home and drank it. Don't know what that was about.
Also, on the train last night was a drunk man. He had peed his pants and was lying on the floor in a stupor, and I recognized him as a friendly local wino who hangs around our train station. He held up the train for 25 minutes as the police were called to escort him off, as nobody else would touch him to pick him up.
And I don't want to end up like him. I took it as a sign, as I had already resolved to stop drinking for good earlier in the day.
Any help would be appreciated. I try quite hard to eat healthily, and have since probably the age I started drinking heavily. I'm not sure how my body will react to food when it's not mixed with alcohol. I'm not sure what my withdrawal symptoms will be either, but as far as I remember they were more psychological than any major physical stuff the last time I stopped. So what do I do now?
Thank you everybody in advance.
Well I'm just finished day 4. Had crazy stuff going on in my head last night though before bed. Couldn't sleep and I was at one stage looking at a pole outside my apartment having a cigarette, and it disappeared for a second. Hope that's not hallucinations. 
Comment