I've started
Stopped drinking last night. Have taken a few Vals to stop the horrible shakes. Have also taken Campral, which was prescribed for me. I think I've drunk about 5 litres of water in the last few hours - I'm so thirsty. It's 7 in the morning here where I live - by now, I've usually had a few wines and am feeling alcoholically calm and philosophical about everything. Not today. There are so many bills I can't pay and obligations I haven't met that I now have to front up for. I can't stop crying and worrying and feeling sorry for myself about my marriage and jealous that she's moved along with someone else. That's what's tough about day one when you've also had a relationship crash, I guess. I feel like I'm at the bottom of Olympus Mons - it seems easier to stay here than to start the longest climb in the solar system. But I know if I stay here, I'll die here.
Sorry this is all so self absorbed and dismal. I see others on here who seem almost delirious with joy on Day 1 - I just wouldn't be honest if I emulated them today.
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