It was coming to the end of the day. The air was fresh and the sun was still warm, perfect time for a drink outside before the weather changes. I had no desire for an alcoholic beverage, however, something deep inside told me ? look at you, you are the man. You got the will power and proved it to yourself that you can do it, so enough is enough just enjoy the company of your peers and have a drink.? This was so irrational that I almost went with it. WTF, not only do I need to be in control of my physical state but psychological too.
However, for the first time in my life, I feel like FEAR is my friend. The fear of losing my prize (my 18 days that I worked so very hard for), the fear of waking up with anxiety and guilt, fear of doing something stupid and potentially dangerous or illegal. No Way! But damn it was a close call.
I don?t know when I will be able to completely trust myself but having too much pride/confidence can have its downside. Just wanted to say to everyone in their first weeks or months of being sober ? stay humble.
ALLAN
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