Today is Day 30 AF

[Slaythefear]

Today is Day 30 AF

Thanks Kuya and Clear Eyes.

I'm not even counting days anymore, Clear. I will have journal entries over time that will be a record if I want to calculate the days, but I consider this my new life. I don't drink. I do things differently in this new life. It's like a second chance to live life the way I should have been living it. We all need second chances.

Be well.

[K9Lover]

Today is Day 30 AF

Slay,

You are doing great! Someone here used to say (sorry, I forgot who) "Don't quit before the miracle happens"....believe that it WILL happen...just hang in there.

I hope the puppy gets better!! When I get rich I am going to take in every dog that needs a home!!

Stay strong, you are in charge, show the Beast who's boss!

K9

[kuya]

Today is Day 30 AF

Slay, i know you to be a brave and honest person who accepts themselves, their past, their faults and their weaknesses.

Through the miracle of MWO I want to say I am honored to be sharing this journey with you.

Now I am crying ( and I don't cry, Biach!)

KY

[Slaythefear]

Today is Day 30 AF

kuya;1383252 wrote: Slay, i know you to be a brave and honest person who accepts themselves, their past, their faults and their weaknesses.

Through the miracle of MWO I want to say I am honored to be sharing this journey with you.

Now I am crying ( and I don't cry, Biach!)

KY

WOW! I'm touched and momentarily speechless.

:l:h

[Wildflowers]

Today is Day 30 AF

A Big Congratulations On Your 30+ AF Days & A Very Happy 50th Birthday To You Slaythefear!


I know this isn't easy & remember my first 30 days, this trip around the sun was no different then my last trips either. Roller coaster rides of emotions. That feck it thread came in handy & I may need it again.


What I can say is, my 2nd & 3rd months were easier. That all these setbecks are temporary, they are all part of normal recovery & healing. They be this way for a while, but not forever!... As so many others who have more time, have told us. We just have to keep working on recovery ~ healing & before we know it our emotions, our bodies will be on more solid ground.

I've read many of your posts & thought my, is this my twin. Loved your poem & purge thread. Relate to so much of what you write about, it comes from your heart. Such passion, love, determination, smarts in you, humor, it isn't all fear.

The only thing I can offer that may haven't already been said is, instead of trying to save the world, save yourself first. I understand how difficult this can be for some of us. I won't get into all my reasons why, or how I came to understand this & I still struggle. For this is your journey. May I add, I also did a ton of brain research on Gaba A & Gaba B receptors. Along with Orthomolecular Science, particularly Amino acids.

I read this great thread a couple days back & it has become more than just a congratulatory thread, it's just wonderful & of course there are others too. Just can't keep up these days, but apologize on my tardiness.

I turned 50 this summer & it was celebrated all wk. Ugh. My new coffee mug, Happy 50th Birthday sat in the cupboard for two wks, b4 I used it, I was on overload. :H I love playing this card now. :H

Oh, & I should tell you one of the pics I picked out for you when I put in feathers & happy 50th b-day, a woman came up from the Hilton, with hot pink feathers, blue skin. Um ~ she looked to be having a grrrt time. I decided against it tho, no alcohol was shown & she didn't appear intoxicated.

Hope your 50th was fun! :h :l

Wildflowers

[Wildflowers]

Today is Day 30 AF

You Did It!!!... Be Proud Of Yourself!!!... Treat Yourself To Something Special!!!... You Are Special!!!... You Deserve It!!!... Congratulations!!!!...

[Slaythefear]

Today is Day 30 AF

Wildflowers, that was such a wonderful heartfelt post. I was posting on another thread and was becoming just a bit irritated, but then I switched over and read your post. I now feel all warm and fuzzy again with a big smile. What a sweet post. You can really start to care for folks here.

Love the flower photos. I'm a big nature fan, so they were perfect! We've been feeding the squirrels and chipmunks around here and a couple weeks ago, the young ones were coming out. Love it!

The comment of taking care of others...take care of yourself struggle. YEP! We have that in common. I've been aware of this problem for years without truly succeeding in fixing it with the proper balance, but have had some victories along the way. I think I'm getting a better handle on it now. Not perfect, but I'm making better progress. I think that tends to be common in a lot of women. My girlfriend was completely opposite, and I think watching sometimes upset me, but also taught me it's alright to take care of my needs and say no without having to feel guilty. It's also helped that my daughter has reached 21 and a certain maturity that comes with age 50. So, it's a trade off, youth for wisdom and strength.

Thank you so much for the beautiful post. You are a kind soul!!!

:l:h

[stumpy]

Today is Day 30 AF

Wow Slay! it's 36 days for you. WTG!

[Slaythefear]

Today is Day 30 AF

stumpy;1383811 wrote: Wow Slay! it's 36 days for you. WTG!

After the 30 day/50 years old slump, I've been better. I hope it stays this way. I had some really nasty downs in those 30 days. If I have more, I'll get through them, but damn, I don't like it! lol The days don't matter to me now. Something about making those 30 days seems so important, then the counting loses its focus. Now it's just I don't drink and how to live a new life that revolves around activities that don't involve alcohol. The moment it tries to enter my mind, I slap it out immediately. It's almost like I start to panic when the thought tries to enter like an invader into my home. I suppose that's a good thing for now. I'm fortunate my husband isn't a big drinker. He keeps any alcohol he does get out of the home. I'll admit it would be a bigger fight if I had it sitting around within arms reach.

Let me know how it feels to you when you get those thirty days in. I'll be waiting here.

[Prairie Fairy]

Today is Day 30 AF

:-) I'm still dancing a jig on Saturday when I hit 40 - then I think the counting will be less a thing other than the weekly - it's Monday - another week ticked off....but outside of being PG - I've not made 40 since I was 18....maybe even 17 for that matter....

[stumpy]

Today is Day 30 AF

Slay, you don't get out much, do ya? 50 is the new 30...!! WTG on the AF 36 days and a big Happy Birthday to you.

PF, 40 days already? Wow! you go girl. I'm going to stay close by the two of you.

[Prairie Fairy]

Today is Day 30 AF

Almost Stumpy - almost....feeling good...I'm staying on top of the cravings with those funky blue L-Glut's this time...they work like a champ - pretty much as good as a powder and they don't taste evil - and hang on - running to get this anxiety homeopathic stuff I found this time that taken regularly is doing well...

Source Naturals "Theanine Serene" - works like a CHAMP. Helped carry me through some early witching hours but it turns out - better now after the 25/30 day mark when the PAWS kicks in and all this RAW emotions - not covered over by AL surface....I'm sure there are all these nodding heads all over - but those raw emotions just poking out all over...the Theanine Serene really helps with.

As I get away from the early days and I cut back on the Kudzu I'm finding this more helpful...

[Slaythefear]

Today is Day 30 AF

Prairie Fairy;1383820 wrote: :-) I'm still dancing a jig on Saturday when I hit 40 - then I think the counting will be less a thing other than the weekly - it's Monday - another week ticked off....but outside of being PG - I've not made 40 since I was 18....maybe even 17 for that matter....

It's a GREAT accomplishment, PF. We all have triggers in our lives that can make it so easy to just take a drink, but your almost to 40 and that's worth a jig dance. I guess I'm happy that I've finally made up my mind to really stop and say this time it's for real and stuck with it, so I'm working to cement a permanent mindset of I am just not a person who drinks from I can make it, I can make it thinking. I know there will be triggers in the days ahead, so my hope is I can cement my thinking to just not allow the option because it's like putting a hole in a boat your out on the lake in. I just wouldn't do that.

There's a saying I read once about surviving a heartache: "Fake it till you make it." I'll keep my brain in check with the thoughts I know work until they take hold and stick by themselves.

I hope that made sense. I'm getting tired. My daughter just came in to take a nap, but left a pot of coffee. Think I'll have a cup. Half caff. of course. Hope I don't regret that come nightfall.

[Slaythefear]

Today is Day 30 AF

stumpy;1383824 wrote: Slay, you don't get out much, do ya? 50 is the new 30...!! WTG on the AF 36 days and a big Happy Birthday to you.

PF, 40 days already? Wow! you go girl. I'm going to stay close by the two of you.

So they tell me. I was so freaked about it, but now I feel find. In fact, I'm a little more sassy...don't give me none of your lip. I'm older and wiser!!! lol It's time for me to learn to age more gracefully and drop some of that intense vanity. There are some some advantages to this age.

Yes, stay close. Beware, I have a whip and a lip now. No mercy!

:l

[stumpy]

Today is Day 30 AF

Slay, I love the F years lol. I feel I am going to make it just fine. I have written all the craving meds down from PF. I'll be on more! Thank you both.