The unmentionable: finances.

[Deathless]

I've been sober now for three days and went to my PO Box for the fist time in weeks tonight. It was stuffed full of letters from my estate agent, the electricity company, the phone company, plus a few debt collectors. They're not huge amounts, but more than I can handle at the moment. I've got nothing at all in the bank and everyone I know has loaned me money over the last few months, under the impression that I'm paying bills (but, as we all know, I used the money for something else). Now that I'm sober I'm dreadfully panicked about it all and feeling terrible shame. I know people in here have told me not to worry about that - to concentrate on being sober and let everything else wait - but it's hard to ignore when the prospect is that your lights will go out at any moment, or I'll find myself on the street. When I was drinking, none of this mattered - THEN I was able to forget about it and figure I'd deal with it after I'd concentrated on my drinking :H
Tomorrow's first job is to pick up the phone and start talking to these people, but what do I say? Should I be honest - "Sorry, but I'm a recovering alcoholic - gimme a break, will ya?" doesn't sound real workable to me. If anyone has any advice I'd take it very thankfully. More importantly, perhaps, if anyone has any advice on how to speak to myself about this, I'd appreciate it.

[Wally22]

The unmentionable: finances.

Your creditors do not care that you are a recovering alcoholic (in fact it would probably work against you to disclose this information).
You have had some difficulties in the last few months. You need a payment plan that addresses your outstanding debts.
Work out how much you can pay to repay your debts and then call them and make them an offer. It's best if you can get it down on paper first so that you can see it's doable.
Nobody wants to cut off your light or heat, so if you can make a reasonable repayment schedule they will probably honour it.
If there are finance charges, request that they waive them in the interim (it doesn't hurt to ask).
It's better to call then to continue to ignore the letters. Most of your creditors will be willing to consider any reasonable payment plan.
Congratulations on your AF time.

[K9Lover]

The unmentionable: finances.

Hi Deathless,
It's a bad situation, but not the end of the world. As Wally said, CALL these people...don't disclose any personal reasons as to why you can't pay...just tell them you are aware of what you owe, and you would like to make payments. This kind of stuff happens every day, in every city. I work at City Hall and I constantly see people coming in to make "payment plans" so their utilities don't get shut off. We do it for anyone and everyone that asks. The credit card people will do it too. Just sit down and make a pile, and go through each one. You will feel a huge relief once you have talked to them. Write on each bill what you've agreed to. You WILL get past this. Stay strong and don't let it drive you to drink, that won't help anything.
Sending you strength...
K9

[FlyAway]

The unmentionable: finances.

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. Good idea to call. I'd say something like Wally said, difficulties the past few months, family emergency (which is the truth) and leave it at that.

What do you mean by how to speak to yourself?

[mama bear]

The unmentionable: finances.

thinking of you...I know the feeling, believe me

[LibraryGirl]

The unmentionable: finances.

I know the feeling too. I kept up with my bills pretty much, but haven't had much left over and each pay check just flies out to expenses. In my dream life, I have tons of $$ saved up and plenty left over after bills. Hope it comes true one day.

Good luck to you. Tell yourself that you were irresponsible, yes, but you're going to take responsiblity NOW, and the first step is to to talk with your creditors. All of your responses here have been spot on.

[Deathless]

The unmentionable: finances.

FlyAway;1383295 wrote: Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. Good idea to call. I'd say something like Wally said, difficulties the past few months, family emergency (which is the truth) and leave it at that.

What do you mean by how to speak to yourself?

What I meant was how do I tell myself I'm not a complete bastard screw-up who deserves some jail time. But I think I know the answer to that today - I just couldn't see it yesterday. The good news is it's just after 10 in the morning here and I've spoken to most of them already. It's been easier than I thought. My biggest problem now is getting through to an actual PERSON at the credit card company - it's just a baffling rabbit warren of number-press options which lead to further number-press options, etc. All too much for me today. I think I'll leave this one for tomorrow.

[Wally22]

The unmentionable: finances.

Credit card companies are the hardest to deal with. However if you push they will give you some options. You CAN request that they waive further interest charges. They won't give you any further credit, but they WILL waive the charges. Unfortunately the first person you speak with, does NOT have the authority to make that concession. You must go higher up the chain, and that IS time consuming. But worth it.
Hang in there. Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither was this problem. It's worth pursuing a solution.
Congratulations on attacking this head on. I hope you are still AF.
:l

ps. You do not deserve jail time. Any more than any government that is operating on a deficit. Unlike them, you have chosen to address the problem. Good on you!

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

The unmentionable: finances.

Good advice there Wally, those earings still fitting you I see. DL well done on finding the strength to grasp both the AL issue and face the debtors. A sense of relief when its all done I reckon.

[jenniech]

The unmentionable: finances.

What Wally said.....very good advice. I just would like to add one thing: don't start out by making excuses. Just call and say "i have fallen behind in payments but I have every intention of paying it back so I need a plan" Or something along those lines. DOn't offer up an excuse...let them ASK you. It is none of their business and it doesn't matter why you have fallen behind. What matters is you are calling them now and telling them you want to make good.
If I were you and they do ask, I would say that you were having personal issues and leave it at that.

[kuya]

The unmentionable: finances.

I know exactly where you are at DL as going thro the same problem

You do not deserve punishment for getting into debt, just because it was due to drinking so what? It's a disease for which you are now bravely taking the cure. If you had cancer would you think you should go to jail?

Stay AF and all these things will be sorted in time.....it's only money

KY

[K9Lover]

The unmentionable: finances.

Hi DL -

I'm glad you tackled the problem head on, I'm sure that made you feel better. Yes, the CC companies are a pain in the ass...it takes forever to speak to a LIVE person. But just hang in there, you'll get it done. And do NOT feel bad, we are all in debt (well most of us, I shouldn't speak for everyone!). Good job on facing your situation...things will get better!

K9

[Rainyday]

The unmentionable: finances.

Just want to offer that my husband and I are in the same boat. Had all our credit cards paid off a few years ago. Then he lost his job due to the economy. I was only working part time to be home with kids. Son was born premature and in the NICU for 4 weeks and racked up hospital bills. Then my time in rehab (that was a total waste of money). Then so many other things. Now we have $35,000 in credit card debt. A mortgage. Car loan. School tuition (our kids are in Christian School, but we got a great schoalrship).

What we did: The first time we got into a bad spot we consolidated all our credit card bills to one. That's how we got out of debt then.

This last time - two of the card companies we asked for a "payment plan". For one it's a 36-week long plan. The other, I think a 48-week plan. We make a regular payments each month until it's totally gone. But we are no longer able to get credit. We have one credit card we kept open (even though it's maxed!) to get back a good credit rating once we are in a better place.

For utilities, as others have said, as long as I pay SOMETHING towards the debt they keep them on! Best to speak with them. Though I haven't. I just send what I can pay (dumb I know).

Trash Services - can you share with a neighbor?

We turned off cable and internet (and it was actually a blessing!) Although we are turning it back on so that I can get on these boards and have some down time watching tv SOBER.

But you can always go to a library for internet. Or share with a neighbor.

We are currently trying to eat everything in our pantry we stocked up on. So groceries are less. We try not to drive out of the way, but rather, plan our trips so as to use gas efficiently.

Have one day that you "splurge". Like eat out, but find a cheap place or one with specials. There's a Mexican food place out here which serves all kids under 10 free on Tuesdays with purchase of an adult meal.

Clothes - we get all hand-me downs.

The GREAT thing?! You are instantly more rich each day that you do not drink!

Good luck!