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Older gal stuck on Chardonnay :(

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    #1

    Older gal stuck on Chardonnay :(

    I seem to be in a pattern for a long long time now. I know wine is kicking my butt. My right side is sore, HBP, overweight, thyroid issues, chest palpitations etc. I went from having wine every night to binging now! So, I go from a few days to two weeks AF & then go on a 4-14 day binge & then feel so awful, I stop again. Over & over I seem to be doing this since Feb 2012 when I retired. I have no friends, my phone hardly ever rings. I have done rehabs, one recently. I had a sponsor for like a week, she got mad at me for not attending enough meetings. I do struggle with AA philosophy big time. I have attended other meetings. I just can't stay stopped! I am so frustrated with myself. I sometimes think there is something mentally wrong with me! Self-loathing & disgust! My son is suppose to come over today & the house is a mess! Empty wine bottles & beer cans all over, fast food wrappers, to go boxes in fridge. Here I go again, cleaning up the mess I created & then it will happen all over again Thanks for letting me dump on you today.
    :l:rays:
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    #2
    Older gal stuck on Chardonnay

    Welcome Colomissy!

    I'm so glad you've found us. Your story is similar to so many other peoples...so please know that you are NOT alone! I was stuck on the roller coaster from hell for over 10 years, drinking 12+ beers every night, blacking out, passing out, falling, driving drunk, being a complete ass...you name it, I did it! The good news is that you CAN break this cycle. It seems overwhelming at first, but it can be done. I finally quit when drinking became harder than not drinking. Sounds like you might be at that point as well?

    Please stick close and head over to the Newbies Nest...we'll welcome you with open arms (or wings! )

    K9
    :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

    Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

    Comment

      #3
      Older gal stuck on Chardonnay

      Chardonnay is a bitch! She's been hanging around this neck of the woods for years......like a bad smell!
      I know it is hard to see a way out right now, but wanting to is the first step - you're there already. It really does take a few AF days to get a bit of clarity and 'see' where your life is an what it can be.
      Like K9 says, the Newbies Nest is a great place to start. Read, read, read here and you will be inspired....I look forward to seeing you about and getting the life you deserve...you can do it!
      IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
      Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!

      Comment

        #4
        Older gal stuck on Chardonnay

        Keep trying, just keep trying, get a plan & stick too it! Welcome
        Growth means change and change involves risk, stepping from the know to the unknown."
        Author Unknown :h

        AF - Sept 4, 2012
        10 days - Sept 13, 2012
        2 weeks - Sept 17, 2012
        Slip on the weekend but tried too moderate!
        AF - Sept 24, 2012 (get back on the headaches not worth it)
        Slippery slope Oct 1 ..... Trying to not give up!


        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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          #5
          Older gal stuck on Chardonnay

          Hi Missy,

          Welcome to MWO, this is a good place.

          Chardonnay ended up being my poison of choice as well & almost killed me
          I put a stop to it & you can too!

          It sounds like yuo need a serious change in thinking - I sure did. I accomplished that with teh help of the MWO Hypno CDs. If you use them as instructed they will help immensely

          A strong commitment to make a change & a good solid plan helped me meet my goals!
          Go look around in our https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html for some great ideas to help you put your plan together. Set a quit date, get rid of all the wine in your house & vow to buy no more. That's what I did 3 1/2 years ago & I am so grateful.

          Life without addiction is awesome, something you will never regret

          Wishing you the best!

          Lav
          AF since 03/26/09
          NF since 05/19/09
          Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

          Comment

            #6
            Older gal stuck on Chardonnay

            Going through the same thing!

            Hi Colomissy,

            I'm brand new here with only four days AF under my belt but we are in the same, exact boat. Wine is my downfall too. We seem to be the same age as I'm also going through the same health issues...20 pounds overweight, recently diagnosed with hypothyroid, high cholesterol, imbalanced hormones, blah, blah. Have you tried the Topamax in addition to the supplements? I haven't tried the Topamax, but I ordered it and it is coming in the mail within the next 10 days. I bring this up because I can go a few days AF and always think, "I have this licked," and then I don't! I too really tried to stop last February and after a few days AF, boy, do I go on a binder. Once I have that one drink, there is no return. I did not ask my doctor about the Topamax and ordered without RX online. I live in a small town. I did look to make sure there was no interaction with what I'm taking and did let the online pharmacy know. I'm scared, but find comfort in reading the posts here as I know there are others going through the same, exact dang thing. I'm glad you are here. I plan to follow your progress as I have so much in common with you, so post often! Wishing you the very best of luck!

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              #7
              Older gal stuck on Chardonnay

              Hey Lav-

              Thanks for the inspiration. It looks like you did this with supplements and hypno tapes. Is that correct? Like Colomissy, I go a few days and then BAM, I blow it and think ...oh well, I blew it so....but then I'm wine buzzed so my reasoning and logic goes out the door! I have the tapes and supplements but I might need the med. I don't know if I will take the Topamax but ordered it anyway. My goal right now is to do 30 days. That would be quite a milestone for me! I have my moments of cockiness and then I go through wobbly,weak-kneed moments too.

              Comment

                #8
                Older gal stuck on Chardonnay

                Thanks for the welcomes & advice! I have not even heard of Topamax, but did find myself looking at the Kuduz thou. But, they are out of it! The tapes also sound good too. I love everybody's quotes as well. I have high anxiety today, so having trouble concentrating. I also got some bad news about my youngest daughter calling into work sick due to her drinking! I have sooooo messed things up. I would like to go for 30 days as well. Day 1, scared for my family & can't wait for this day to be over.
                :l:rays:

                Comment

                  #9
                  Older gal stuck on Chardonnay

                  I just ran across this, I love documentaries & saw this.

                  More women are turning to alcohol to cope - WTOP.com
                  :l:rays:

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