First Day!!!

[gldngal]

First Day!!!

Hello T O C

Hello there T O C. Your posts have really touched me. Your path sounds very similar to mine. Left home, graduated high school, put myself through college, family is elsewhere, have children and have a drinking problem. I'm pretty sure we can do this. It's weird how we can accomplish so much in a lifetime, but torture ourselves with alcohol. Thank god I haven't had a car wreck or a DUI - but I can see that on my path if I don't stop what I am doing. Thats why I have been going to this site to read the posts and know that I am not alone. I'm going to download the book after this post. Enough is enough! Also...thanks for sharing your experience "Accountable for Me".
:h

[Guest]

First Day!!!

Your words are very kind and for the first time I feel there is hope at stopping. Alcohol is a terrible habit. I have lied to those I love the most in this world. I try to hide it. I have even drank Listerine to try and hide. Anything to get drunk and hide. I am not hiding it though. My 13 yr. old daughter told me this week, she can tell when I have been drinking. My Mom has come to live with me since my fiance' died. I couldn't handle taking care of my kids alone. This was a real blow to my ego as I have always been very independant. I am glad she is here, but I have never needed help. My son was really sick last night and had to go to the ER, I couldn't even go in I was so drunk. I have literally lost control of my life. I do good for awhile and the relapse. I want to stop! I am hoping that coming on here when I feel an urge I can't get passed will help....

[gldngal]

First Day!!!

Hello

That is a constant and very plausible fear of mine. That if one of my children got sick - would I be able to get them to the ER or will I be passed out on the couch - again - the same as every night. I actaully picked up my older daughter from work the other night when I was plastered. She was totally pissed off at me and I'm sure - very ashamed.

[Accountable for Me]

First Day!!!

tiredocrying, your mom's being there is really a blessing in disguise. You have the help you need on the homefront so now you can take care of you! Take advantage of this. Everything happens for a reason - and this may be your reason to get well.

Can you see a doctor? Your doctor can help you with meds to make this easier for you. You are on the right path by speaking about this. It does wonders talking about it. Don't let fear of failing hold you back.

[DidItForMe]

First Day!!!

TOC:
I too have a 13 year old daughter.They are so perceptive. Trust me, they see right through our lies and yet they love us all the same. They deserve better from us and WE deserve better from ourselves. Congratulations on taking this first step and admitting this problem. I'm so sorry about your fiance. Take the help from your mom. We all need help from time to time and it sounds like this is your time of need. How lucky you are to have some there to be with you. And believe me, we are all here for you too. Hugs to you where ever you are!!!

[Guest]

First Day!!!

Are any of you using the vitamins and Cd's? Do they really work? I am on an anti-depressant. It can't work properly though if I drink. I work in healthcare so it is very hard for me to seek outside help....small community.

[sri]

First Day!!!

Dear Tired,

Please know you have come to a safe place. Stay with us. You are not alone. Many of us have been there too -- ashamed, embarassed, alone. Not remembering how stupid we even were. I know I have been there. My kids and husband were just about through with me. I have been alcohol free only 20 days but that's longer than anytime in a long time. Join us just one day at a time. There is support here, tools - no judgment. Keep reading and posting. We understand - really. Glad you are here and welcome.

[SKendall]

First Day!!!

Dear Tired,

It will get better. Just do what has already been suggested and as long as you have a true desire to change something, it is possible.:welcome:

[DidItForMe]

First Day!!!

TOC:
I am using the basic starter kit found in the health store (All One powder, kudzu, EPO, Mag. Cit, Milk Thistle, B 50, etc). I just really needed a boost to get myself going. I also talked to my doc about Topamax. It has already started to help. I live in a very small town but since Topa is used for migraines, I figured the pharmacy would never know the truth. My doc was very understanding, hopefully yours would be too.

[changing]

First Day!!!

Hi Tired of Crying.....Take good care and you will find plenty of support here. Really enjoyed the chat. One day at a time and no failures in here. Everyone is trying their best to either abstain or moderate alcohol. Keep posting. It is a great space. :welcome: changing

[Popeye]

First Day!!!

Hello tiredofcrying,

Please, stay awhile.
This is a lovely place to come .
Believe it or not, most of us are tired of crying.

There are lots of people here who know what you are going through.
It's really good to have you with us.

[Guest]

First Day!!!

WOW, this site is so awesome. I am surprised how many women are drinkers. Not sure why, since I am too. It just always seemed more men drink to me. I am the only woman I know that drinks heavily. It is good not to feel alone. Funny too how I really didn't think I had a drinking problem cause I was drinking wine...STUPID. A high class drunk, still a drunk.

[ScoobyDoo]

First Day!!!

Hi TOC

It sounds to me like you are ready! *hug*

I also understand the shame... and I also cringe to think of what my 15 year old son thinks and how my behaviour has affected him over the years. He is a levele headed, switched on kid who swears that he will never drink alcohol in his life... (I wonder why...)

I agree with what the others have said about your mum. She is there with you now, take this opportunity and embrace it! I joined this site only 3 days ago and the change I feel in me and how I feel about myself is overwhelming... I am feeling stronger every day!

I highly recommend downloading the pdf book for $12 and just reading it. Knowledge is 'power' and this disease (or whatever you want to call it) that we have to deal with is also 'powerful'.

I always remember a doctor asking me why I smoked (another addiction), when I told him I didn't know, he commented "well, you didn't need to smoke when you were a child, so why are you doing it now?". I reflected and remembered how pure and simple my childhood was, and that I was able to cope well enough with stresses back then. I didn't need a crutch - I don't need one now, so I am throwing mine away. This forum is a brilliant tool don't you think?

*hug* from Australia
DooDoo

[Guest]

First Day!!!

I think it is a blessing for us all. It is the best thing I have found in a long time. I have thought about going to AA several times. I just don't feel comfortable walking in to a room full of strangers and pouring my heart out. I also worry to death I would know someone or someone I know would see me. HIDING...this is great because I feel I can be myself.

[ScoobyDoo]

First Day!!!

TOC, one other thing I've discovered, is that even if it's just 1 bottle of wine a day; if that's enough to be causing bad feelings in you about your drinking, or affecting your life, then it's a problem/issue. I take my hat off to you for having the courage to face it... and as you (and I) can see, you're not alone!

I do agree that it seems there are more women who have drinking issues than I realised. I'm not sure why that is. Maybe one factor is that we can become bored (stay at home mums) when our kids are small and growing up. I'm also amazed at how many women on this board are just like me.

You sound like a really good person. Looking forward to getting to know you better

DooDoo