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    #91
    October Sober...

    "breaking free of alcohol is, in effect, ending a relationship. And I mean a long-standing, hard-core, abusive, solid relationship. In essence you are going thru the 5 stages of grieving. Anger (what brought you here..."I'm SICK of this crazy life!"), Denial (Maybe I'm not all that bad! What was I thinking? Other people drink as much or MORE than I do' I think this is where the biggest Pity Party is thrown...it comes after the first 2 weeks and before day 30), BARGAINING ( why don't I try to moderate? Other people are able to do it...if I could just have one precious glass of _____ I'd be ok, THEN I'll get right back on track..), Depression (Is THIS all there is? Where are the balloons? Is this as good as it's ever going to get? ' Well shit...'.) and finally, acceptance. Let me tell you, this is where it's at. You finally are able to accept that, NO, you CANNOT drink ....AT ALL. Not one, not ever.....and you are ok with this. This is the stage where you can see AL for what it really is....a DRUG. Some people abuse drugs and some people don't. We do. Each stage in grieving is very important. Once you can see what is going on and that you aren't going crazy, it helps...at least it did for me. What you are going thru is the natural stages of loss. If you stay the course, I promise it will get better....I can also make a promise the other way, too....if we stay on the path we were on....well, you get the picture. I can assure you there will be a day where you don't even think about AL! As hard as it is now....it seems hard to believe. As hardcore as I was, I can now come to the end of an evening and think...I'll be dam, I didn't even think about it. THAT is amazing! You will get there...it just takes some time." Quoting Byrdie from an earlier post




    So - I'm pretty much at acceptance - although the nights I still fight it - I'm glad for the AB.
    That popping sound you hear is me attempting to remove my head from my arse. It's been there for years so this may take a while.
    Admitting I need healing. And I am not big enough to do this alone.
    AF - August 20, 2012

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      #92
      October Sober...

      Great post prairie.
      Well done odat for making a new promise.
      Day 3 for me, felt stressy and emotional today, very negative too! But I went to work, taught my Zumba class ( very uplifting) and snuggled down to watch tv this evening, now off to bed knowing tomorrow will e faced head on AF
      AF since 2nd Oct 2012
      Day by day

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        #93
        October Sober...

        I am fighting, it's hard, I feel like im loosing. I am thinking of when I'm gonna go get it, do I go now, do I go while the child is in counseling, do I go after counseling while the kids are eating dinner. Maybe I just don't go...then I think no I'll go. The hardest thing is the chatter in my head. I have been trying all week and I haven't done it yet. i think maybe I should just leave y'all be and quit being a bad influence. I'm sorry to let you down.
        ALL I HAVE TO DO IS GET THOUGH THIS DAY AF

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          #94
          October Sober...

          odat
          don't leave....keep trying
          don't quit the quit....it takes time....it takes false starts but it will take eventually if you keep coming back

          :l
          I just won't anymore

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            #95
            October Sober...

            Hey Mootbill - I was quoting Byrdie from someone's earlier post - let me go make that more clear...
            That popping sound you hear is me attempting to remove my head from my arse. It's been there for years so this may take a while.
            Admitting I need healing. And I am not big enough to do this alone.
            AF - August 20, 2012

            Comment


              #96
              October Sober...

              ODAT -

              Don't leave. Do you know how many quits most people have? A bunch. Can't tell you what this one is - I don't know. Guess what? I don't care. This one is sticking. Day 45. When you are ready - you are ready. Just don't leave. Everytime I left here - I got so much worse. I spiraled so far out of control - every last time. Don't leave. Stay close.
              That popping sound you hear is me attempting to remove my head from my arse. It's been there for years so this may take a while.
              Admitting I need healing. And I am not big enough to do this alone.
              AF - August 20, 2012

              Comment


                #97
                October Sober...

                ODAT, I had the worst craving of my life tonight, I want sleep so bad that I was willing to have a couple of glasses, I did not do it! I came on here, that's why I'm here right now.. Please stay with me.
                AF since 8/29/12 Goal 30 day-screwed up on day 9
                AF since 9/9/12- Goal 30 days
                STUMPY IS A LADY!

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                  #98
                  October Sober...

                  Stumpy must be something in the air...I had the same issue driving home tonight.....I did not stop either but boy it was hard....
                  Dottie
                  Dottie

                  Newbie's Nest

                  Tool Box
                  ____________
                  AF 9.1.2013

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                    #99
                    October Sober...

                    Dottie, it Sucked! I just want to sleep, I would rather wait it out. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow at 8am, maybe he''ll give me something to help me sleep..crossing fingers. I'm proud of you for riding the wave.
                    AF since 8/29/12 Goal 30 day-screwed up on day 9
                    AF since 9/9/12- Goal 30 days
                    STUMPY IS A LADY!

                    Comment


                      October Sober...

                      U 2, I am not sleeping well either but am afraid to take something and not hear the alarm....
                      bumpy ride...
                      dot
                      Dottie

                      Newbie's Nest

                      Tool Box
                      ____________
                      AF 9.1.2013

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                        October Sober...

                        Dottie, I really have not slept at all for at least five days. One hour here or there is not sleep. I would be happy with three straight hours of sleep, had I bought that wine tonight , it would have only brought me right back to where I am now. Tired and desperate. No thank you. We can do this, it's no biggie!
                        AF since 8/29/12 Goal 30 day-screwed up on day 9
                        AF since 9/9/12- Goal 30 days
                        STUMPY IS A LADY!

                        Comment


                          October Sober...

                          stumpy;1387605 wrote: Dottie, I really have not slept at all for at least five days. One hour here or there is not sleep. I would be happy with three straight hours of sleep, had I bought that wine tonight , it would have only brought me right back to where I am now. Tired and desperate. No thank you. We can do this, it's no biggie!
                          Stumpy I have been taking 5mg of melatonin at night and two magnesium sitrate (I'll have to check mg). Otherwise I cannot sleep either w/o drinking. The Magnesium was recommended to me from my Naturopath for sleep. Hope you find some rest soon!
                          "If you want something you've never had...you have to be willing to do something you've never done!"- unknown
                          ___________________
                          Goal 1-30 days AF, 10/31
                          Goal 2-51 days AF. 11/22
                          Goal 3 - Moderation through December!

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                            October Sober...

                            Thank you Silversage, I can't take magnesium, makes me sick to my stomach. I'm also allergic to ragweed so not sure I can take melatonin. Oh well, it has to get better, right??????
                            AF since 8/29/12 Goal 30 day-screwed up on day 9
                            AF since 9/9/12- Goal 30 days
                            STUMPY IS A LADY!

                            Comment


                              October Sober...

                              odat1234;1387557 wrote: I am fighting, it's hard, I feel like im loosing. I am thinking of when I'm gonna go get it, do I go now, do I go while the child is in counseling, do I go after counseling while the kids are eating dinner. Maybe I just don't go...then I think no I'll go. The hardest thing is the chatter in my head. I have been trying all week and I haven't done it yet. i think maybe I should just leave y'all be and quit being a bad influence. I'm sorry to let you down.

                              Listen up, ODAT!
                              Worst thing you can do is leave, IMO. There are so many people here who have tried, fallen, tried again, fallen, tried YET AGAIN and succeeded (whatever it is they are trying to succeed in. Take Daisy - she's been here a while, and is now on her third Day 30. She's fighting strong, packing strong punches in the ring "Third time lucky" is what she is saying. ODAT, without you probably even realising it, you are helping so many of us with this October Sober thread. I for one. This thread has helped me keep up the fight - you have helped me keep up the fight - beyond my initial 14days. So stay and let us help you. Keep posting. Keep reading. Keep believing in yourself. You can do this. You WILL do this. We don't care if you fail, just keep get backing in the ring. We are all here rooting for ya.

                              Comment


                                October Sober...

                                Morning ODAT from blighty ;0)
                                Don't leave if you keep giving in that's fine but the fact that you are struggling means you need this more.
                                My head chattering almost drives me insane some days, when's it calm I know it's just resting to come back even stronger but when you get a few days under your belt you will be stronger too.
                                Take it a day at a time, I think to myself. Not having wine now if need it tomorrow will cross that bridge, and so on.
                                Good luck xxx
                                AF since 2nd Oct 2012
                                Day by day

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