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What is a plan, and how do I get one???

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    What is a plan, and how do I get one???

    For newbies coming here for the very first time, Stopping or wanting to control your drinking can be very very hard and sometimes you might feel a bit nervous in posting in what you really want to do,This was posted years ago by a great memeber who unfortunately does not post here anymore, Its a great and so true read, enjoy and go for it...


    I can't count how many times I have made the suggestion to new folks here to "get a plan" for their recovery from alcohol abuse. The old phrase: "failing to plan is planning to fail" is very true in so many situations... and especially so in the case of those of us who are beginning (and continuing) the path of freedom from the devastation of alcohol abuse.

    SO: What is a plan, and how do I get one?

    The MWO book, and what we call the MWO program, discuss and recommend a number of elements that have proven very helpful to many, many people who have used them. They include (and I have added a few, based on my own experience and that of many MWO members):
    Exercise (doesn't have to be a whole lot; some brisk walking, 3 or 4 days a week, is helpful)
    Hypnotherapy (you can buy the recordings on the MWO site in the "store")
    Meditation (many of us practice meditation)
    Dietary supplements (see the MWO book, the "store" here on site, and the threads here on "Holistic Healing")
    A healthy diet, and regular meals
    Medication (preferably with help, advice, and a prescription from your physician)
    Spending a significant amount of time here at MWO, reading the posts of others, getting to know people, asking questions, and talking about your progress and your struggles
    Going to AA meetings
    Changing our environment: Getting alcohol out of the house; not going to bars; not hanging around with "drinking buddies"
    Most people do not use ALL elements in this list; but those who are successful tend to use a LOT of them. And we tend to adjust and tweak the elements, as we see what works for us (and for others).

    Equally important is something we call the "mental game." This is short-hand for the process of changing our thinking and attitudes toward: alcohol, drinking, our emotions, and our behavior. We must learn a whole new approach to problems in life (we don't try to drink them away, any more), and we don't see alcohol as a "reward" for having accomplished something. We learn to tolerate distress, including the urges and impulses and cravings for drink, and we allow them to naturally pass away, without giving in to them. We learn not to engage in battles within our minds about drinking; we step away from that whole process, and choose to think about, and do, something else.

    Perhaps most important: we recognize that the work of recovery truly is "work," and it takes time, effort, and sometimes it costs money. Sometimes it is costly in other ways, as well; friendships and other close relationships will be changed, when we change. And that can be painful. Making this kind of change will have an impact on all areas of our lives; that is a very, very good thing; it can also be accompanied by some pain. Again... we must learn to tolerate the discomforts involved in life changes. There will be some emotional upheaval along the way. We might want to seek counseling or psychotherapy; we certainly will benefit from coming here and talking about it.

    Making a plan, and following it, is an act of mature recognition of the fact that, for nearly all of us, just wishing and hoping that we will stop drinking (or begin drinking "normally") "on our own" is not going to work. Remember: nobody ever "wished and hoped" their way through any important project. But with persistence, and support from others, following a plan can take us to the places in our lives where we really want to go.

    wip
    Posted originally by a Work in progress, You can read more here https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html


    :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

    Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
    I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

    This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

    #2
    What is a plan, and how do I get one???

    Hi Mario,

    I'm new here. I had ten days, then blew it. Today is day 5 for me. Thanks for all the tips. They are very helpful. Especially, not engaging in battles within our minds about drinking. We learn to step away.....and do something else.

    Yesterday that is all I did. I was so close to going out. Hour after hour of fighting with myself. Agonizing over it. It was all I could think about: should I, shouldn't I... I may change my mind later and they will be closed.... I only have 4 days, so I can start over without losing too much time..... I don't have anything I have to do and it's Friday, with a weekend ahead. The head just went on and on and on.

    I finally started reading and posting here and filled in the time until bedtime. So glad now that I did not go out. It would have been another lost weekend. I feel much better today and thankfully was able to hang on to my sobriety. Thanks for all the support from you and everyone else at MWO
    AF since 12/2/12
    http://hamsnetwork.org/taper/

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      #3
      What is a plan, and how do I get one???

      "We learn not to engage in battles within our minds about drinking; we step away from that whole process, and choose to think about, and do, something else."

      I agree completely with this post. All of it is important, but, in many ways, I think the mental stuff is the most perplexing at first. Some times I have not been able to NOT think about drinking.. but it gets SOO much easier. And no more "lost weekends"! That is an amazing gift!
      Liath

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        #4
        What is a plan, and how do I get one???

        Hi Liath,
        I've been off the computer for a while, trying to distract myself. I've been pretty successful for most of the day, but for some reason, right now (7:15 pm Sat., my time) the desire for a drink has come back with a vengeance. I'm hoping you are right, that it gets much easier. I'm so tired of alcohol dominating my life, even when I'm sober! God, will it ever end?
        AF since 12/2/12
        http://hamsnetwork.org/taper/

        Comment


          #5
          What is a plan, and how do I get one???

          mario;1391804 wrote: SO: What is a plan, and how do I get one?

          ...... [whole post]!
          What an awesome post from WIP. Thanks Mario for reposting. Those suggestions have certainly been true for me in my sober journey.

          almost free;1392102 wrote:
          Hi Liath,
          I've been off the computer for a while, trying to distract myself. I've been pretty successful for most of the day, but for some reason, right now (7:15 pm Sat., my time) the desire for a drink has come back with a vengeance. I'm hoping you are right, that it gets much easier. I'm so tired of alcohol dominating my life, even when I'm sober! God, will it ever end?
          Liath is right!!! The mental game was crucial for me too. And I experienced the same thing - that over time things got much easier - but I had to stick with it. As long as I kept giving in to the thoughts and drinking, the viscious cycle continued and things got worse - not better. It IS possible to change the channel in our minds. Rather than entertaining the thoughts about drinking, think about something else. I found it very helpful in my early days of sobriety to keep a LOOOONG list handy of things to DO. Action things always worked better for me in the mental game than sedentary things. I couldn't even think when I got those mind gripping urges, so it was great to pull out my list and just pick something. I had fun stuff on there, house chores, all kinds of stuff. Somewhere around here is a link to an internet site with 100 things to do when you are bored, or something along those lines. (or google for that)

          Anyway...congratulations on winning the battle this weekend! It's a one day (or sometimes one minute, LOL) at a time thing. The more you keep winning these little individual battles in the mind, the more you are building pathways in your brain to a new habit.

          Good luck - you are not alone!

          DG
          Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
          Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


          One day at a time.

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