I need your help. I am doing amazingly well, still drinking and drugging but my individual situation is unique and I have had a very hard time finding like minded people in similar situations including difficulties working with Dr. Fred Levin “the man who saved my life” as even he admits my situation is different than any one else he has personally worked with as he claims to have helped over 1000 people with Baclofen. I am reaching out to try to dial in my treatment so I too can become sober. I take the lowest possible dose of Xanax sometimes 4 times a day sometimes not at all for anxiety. I am not interested in taking any other medications.
I am 32 years old. I am a music industry professional. Songwriter/Poet and Audio Engineer. I am on 380 mg’s of Baclofen every day. I take it twice a day 11am and 6pm because I had incredibly scary sleep apnea and could not sleep through the night with out feeling like my body would shut down and I would die. I recently went up to 380 and Levin and I agreed I would stay there for a while. I smoke pot very seldom and realized recently that the pot smoking was affecting my breathing. As in for some reason it had a very adverse affect with the Baclofen. I am constantly around drugs and alcohol in the environment in which I work. It is a lifestyle thing in the music industry. Most of my associates are drug addicts or alcoholics many of my friends deal drugs and I live in a place where Medical Marijuana is legal and most of us grow it legally for profit. My girlfriend, the love of my life is also an alcoholic. She is an amazing, beautiful individual and is aware of my treatments. She is by far nowhere near my level of addiction where I was when I would have died if it were not for Baclofen. My plan is to conquer this addiction and hopefully inspire my loved ones to follow suit. That of course is not my main goal. I did this out of desperation to save my life.
I’m going to fast-forward a bit and discuss some of my concerns. I don’t feel a large compulsion to drink. I eat incredibly healthy and train physically almost every day. I feel so good I come home from a work out and then my beautiful girlfriend walks through the door with some beer. I could have one or none but her and my roommate are on there second and I feel so good I figure.. Why not?.. So I have one and two and three and four.. then some tequila and then maybe a hit of pot and maybe small bump of coke..then some more beer I am now.. Believe it or not, “partying responsibly”. The old me would have never gone to the gym.. too hung over from the night before.. would eat like shit, already be drunk when my girl came over, smoke weed throughout the night and that bump of coke would of easily turned into a gram or more for me alone. Then I would drink a shot of Whiskey and A beer each through out the night up to 14+ times I used to “turn into a monster when I drank” people would say I looked and acted different person. The coke would stable me out and I would never reach that point. In my world Cocaine, Booze and Weed is a common tri-fecta party scenario. So there I am.. mildly getting a beer buzz and not pushing the limits of my partying like I used to .. wishing I never even had that beer but happy I’m on the same page-ish with my girl.. now watching her get real drunk..and unpleasant.. wathing her addition.. Which helps me now.. helps me to write about it so I can reach those goals of inspiring people to change as I will.
I am still falling into these patterns.. Any and all advice is appreciated. Changing my life situation is not an option. My close friends and loved ones are supporters of my treatment. And I have pushed all of the “Junkie/Drug dealer” friends away. I have text book ADHD. This too has improved amazingly. My decision-making has improved 100%. Just being alive now is a major accomplishment. Everything else I have done in this past year on Baclofen … including tripling my income I would not have been able to accomplish with out this treatment. Yet I am on a very high dose and still falling into “party situations” from time to time.. only with my loved ones, roommate, close friends, girlfriend etc. I do not go to clubs or after hours any more unless I am working. I do not go on days long benders I do know how to protect my self from high risk envornments and quite frankly do not feel comfortable in them anymore for all the right reasons.. yet.. I am still falling into these patterns.. I do not drink every day.. and when I do I seldom smoke pot or do coke.. it does happen from time to time.. I am still able to stop and go home and go to bed.. eventually.. huge change.. I just want to stop completely .. and would like any advice or support in this matter.. thank you!
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