Hypersensitivity

[Slaythefear]

I know for me, going through a battle with AL can produce hypersensitivity issues as my mental state can often be comprimised, and I often note this in others on this board. It's perfectly understandable, but when two or more hypersensitive individuals come in contact or a person is experiencing hypersensitivity, a thread can become very unhealthy for healing. I thought it would be a good idea to make a lone thread regarding this topic to bring awareness to this issue and lighten the conflict I've noted here quite often. I feel this can be a trigger for relapse as well, so let's hope this will be a healthy thread.

[stumpy]

Hypersensitivity

Hypersensitivity

Slay, great post. I feel I have been extra sensitive lately due to lack of sleep so for the most part, I've tried to limit my posts. Limiting your post doesn't always help either lol I always end up apologizing for my hyperness. Again great post

[mama bear]

Hypersensitivity

I love NoraC's saying
"I do not have to attend every argument I am invited to."
It just isn't worth it!!

[K9Lover]

Hypersensitivity

Hi Slay and Stumpy!

When I am feeling grumpy (like yesterday) I tend to stay away from the boards too, so I don't say something in haste that I'll regret. We do need to remember that we are all fighting the battle of our lives, so of course we're going to be irritable at times. I try to keep in mind that we are coming from all walks of life, and that sometimes words get misconstrued coming across the screen. We are only human, after all! :l

K9

[Slaythefear]

Hypersensitivity

stumpy;1394882 wrote: Slay, great post. I feel I have been extra sensitive lately due to lack of sleep so for the most part, I've tried to limit my posts. Limiting your post doesn't always help either lol I always end up apologizing for my hyperness. Again great post

It's in all of us. This is a board for people trying to overcome alcohol abuse which in its own right most likely makes us hypersensitive people. Our brain chemistry is a mess, so putting us all in a room together is great for not feeling alone, but it also makes us susceptible to misunderstandings and overreactions from our broken brain chemistry. Maybe if we remain aware of that fact, we can overlook the intensity and conflicts that arise on the forum.

We all have sensitivity triggers in our lives, I hate to see or experience it here where we should feel safe.

I think it's a melting pot applies in more than one way here.


:lto all!

I will put this on my list of things to be on the look out for. I'm sure I'll find some articles. I found a section in a book just now, but it is on google books and won't let me copy and post it...copyright issues.

[Mootsbill]

Hypersensitivity

Great post slay. This is so true, not just on the boards but the way we communicate with friends etc, Facebook, email, text. How one person writes something can be misconstrued by another don't you think? I had an incident recently where I received a text from a colleague which I took to be arsey! I wound myself up about it and when we met it was all blown out of proportion! 2 bad days clashing so to speak ;0)
On this board we need to care and nurture each other due to the nature of the subject, but also be aware that all of us have good and bad days.
I remember when I was pregnant being on mums net phew there were some humdingers on there ;0)

Happy posting all xxxx

[Wildflowers]

Hypersensitivity

I think this super sensitivity was present b4 alcohol came into the picture for many. Thus the need to depress the central nervous system.

I do feel the need to go bitch slap somebody on this site. I've slept on & still feel like doing it. But, I'm observing, sitting on my hands. There are some things that I'm passionate about in life. One of them is making fun of others finding there own way out of this insidious disease. Especially when they know nothing about their story.

I'm going to go for a walk, think on it. Edit what I've written as the PC is one dimensional world. I'm livid. I think some peeps should read RJ's story.

Please have something ready for me later my dear. :H

[Slaythefear]

Hypersensitivity

Agree Mootsbill. I've had to communicate through the written form online in other areas of my life as well. Sometimes even face to face communication can go badly. The written word online can definitely go badly. I've read things the second or third time in a different light or perspective, so sometimes just stepping away like wildflowers just did is the correct option, but sometimes, we let our impulse or immediate action take control. Things are, also, colored by our experiences as well.

I agree with the prior hypersensitivity, Wildflower. That's what I meant in my first paragraph. My WORDS may not have expressed that properly. Hmmm...lol

[Slaythefear]

Hypersensitivity

Molly's quote: "my point being that if someone is being hurt by attacks on their gutbusting efforts to lead a healthy normal life - that's not hypersensitivity - that's someone being hurt."
__________________


I do understand that. I know how I can often feel inside, so I am trying to find some compassion within the group to try to calm this inflamed environment down. I don't want to point fingers at anyone in particular (that just raises hair on peoples necks in a sensitive environment/brings out defensive behavior) as much as I just want everyone to think about it, and maybe try to adjust a bit so we can have as much peace and support around here as possible. Life is full of conflicts in relationships and healthy communication often takes an awareness outside of oneself and within oneself. Someone always gets hurt when these threads become inflamed. Sometimes even when they aren't as in Paulywogg noting some people are being ignored. Lots of sensitivity issues here. Everyone has a perspective. I'll try my best to keep things peaceful even if someone disagrees with me.

:lto all!

[Slaythefear]

Hypersensitivity

A Letter to the Seven Monkeys

This was posted in the 'What We Believe' Section by Cinders. I hope she does not mind me posting it here as I feel it may give everyone a moment of pause to think and feel in the spirit of love.




This letter is for the seven Monkees who wrote to me last night. For the Monkees who decided last night to try to swim.

Dearest Drunken Monkee Friend,

I have been where you are this morning. I?ve lived through this day. This day when you wake up terrified. When you open your eyes and it hits you . . . the jig is up. When you lie paralyzed in bed and shake from the horrifying realization that life as you know it is over.

Quickly you consider that perhaps that?s okay, because life as you know it totally blows. Even so, you can?t get out of bed because the thing is that you don?t know how. You don?t know how to live, how to interact, how to cope, how to function without a drink or at least the hope of a future drink. You never learned. You dropped out before all the lessons. So who will teach you how to live? Listen to me, because I am you.

You are shaking from withdrawal and fear and panic this morning, so you cannot see clearly. You are very, very confused right now. You think that this is the worst day of your life, but you are wrong. This is the best day of your life, friend. Things, right now, are very, very good. Better than they have ever been in your entire life. Your angels are dancing. Because you have been offered freedom from the prison of secrets. You have been offered the gift of crisis.

Kathleen Norris reminded me last night that the Greek root of the word crisis is ?to sift.? As in to shake out the excesses and leave only what?s important. That?s what crises do. They shake things up until we are forced to decide and hold onto what matters most. And what matters most right now is that you are sober. You owe the world nothing else. And so you will not worry about whether the real you will be brave or smart or funny or beautiful or responsible enough. Because the only thing you have to be is sober. You owe the world absolutely nothing but sobriety. If you are sober, you are enough. Even if you are shaking and cursing and boring and terrified. You are enough.

But becoming sober, becoming real, will be hard and painful. A lot of good things are.
Becoming sober is like recovering from frostbite.

The process of defrosting is excruciatingly painful. You have been so numb for so long. And as feeling comes back to your soul, you start to tingle, and it?s uncomfortable and strange. But then the tingles start feeling like daggers. Sadness, loss, fear, anger, all of these things that you have been numbing with the booze . . . you start to FEEL them for the first time. And it?s horrific at first, to tell you the damn truth. But feeling the pain, refusing to escape from it, is the only way to recovery. You can?t go around it, you can?t go over it, you have to go through it. There is no other option, except for amputation. And if you allow the defrosting process to take place, if you trust that it will work, if you can stand the pain, one day you will get your soul back. If you can feel, it means there has been no amputation. If you can feel, you can hope. If you can feel, you are not too late.

Friend, we need you. The world has suffered while you?ve been hiding. You are already forgiven. You are loved. All there is to do now it to step into your life. What does that mean? What the hell does that mean? This is what it means. These are the steps you take. They are plain as mud.

Get out of bed. Don?t lie there and think - thinking is the kiss of death for us - just move. Take a shower. Sing while you?re in there. MAKE YOURSELF SING. The stupider you feel, the better. Giggle at yourself, alone. Joy for its own sake . . . Joy just for you, created by you ? it?s the best. Find yourself amusing.

Put on some make-up. Blow dry your hair. Wear something nice, something that makes you feel grown up. If you have nothing, go buy something. Today?s not the day to worry too much about money. Invest in some good coffee, caffeinated and decaf. Decaf after eleven o?clock. Read your daughter a story. Don?t think about other things while you?re reading, actually pay attention to the words. Then braid your girl?s hair. Clean the sink. Keep good books within reach. Start with Traveling Mercies. David Sedaris is good, too. If you don?t have any good books, go to the library. If you don?t have a library card, apply for one. This will stress you out. You will worry that the librarian will sense that you are a disaster and reject you. But listen, they don?t know and they don?t care. They gave me a card, and I?ve got a rap sheet as long as your arm. When practicing re-entering society and risking rejection, the library is a good place to start. They have low expectations. I love the library. Also church. Both have to take you in.

Alternate two prayers ? ?Help? and ?Thank you.? That?s all the spirituality you?ll need for a while. Go to meetings. Any meeting will do. Don?t worry if the other addicts there are ?enough like you.? Face it ? we are all the same ? be humble.

Get Out Of The House. If you have nowhere to go, take a walk outside. Do not excuse yourself from walks because it?s cold. Bundle up. The sky will remind you of how big God is, and if you?re not down with God, then the oxygen will help. Same thing. Call one friend a day. Do not start the conversation by telling her how you are. Ask how she is. Really listen to her response, and offer your love. You will discover that you can help a friend just by listening, and this discovery will remind you that you are powerful and worthy.
Get a yoga DVD and a pretty mat. Practice yoga after your daughter goes to bed. The evenings are dangerous times, so have a plan. Yoga is good for people like us, it teaches us to breathe and that solitude is a gift. Learn to keep yourself company.

When you start to feel . . . do. For example ? when you start to feel scared because you don?t have enough money?.find someone to give a little money to. When you start to feel like you don?t have enough love. . . find someone to offer love. When you feel unappreciated, unacknowledged . . . appreciate and acknowledge someone in your life in a concrete way. When you feel unlucky, order yourself to consider a blessing or two. And then find a tangible way to make today somebody else?s lucky day. This strategy helps me sidestep wallowing every day.

Don?t worry about whether you like doing these things or not. You?re going to hate everything for a long while. And the fact is that you don?t even know what you like or hate yet. Just Do These Things Regardless of How You Feel About Doing These Things. Because these little things, done over and over again, eventually add up to a life. A good one.


Friend, I am sober this morning. Thank God Almighty, I?m sober this morning. I?m here, friend. Last week, my son turned nine. Which means that I haven?t had a drink for nine years and nine months. Lots of beautiful and horrible things have happened to me during the past nine years and nine months. And I have more or less handled my business day in and day out without booze. GOD, I ROCK.

And today, I?m a wife and a mother and a daughter and friend and a writer and a dreamer and a Sister to one and a ?sister? to thousands of monkees? and I wasn?t any of those things when I was a drunk.

And I absolutely love being a recovering alcoholic, friend. I am more proud of the ?recovering? badge I wear than any other.

What will you be, friend? What will you be when you become yourself? We would love to find out with you.

[Wildflowers]

Hypersensitivity

[stumpy]

Hypersensitivity

Slay, I'm going to print this one out. Love it. Thank you.

[Mootsbill]

Hypersensitivity

I saw it the other day, just as moving the second time. Beautiful

[porqoui]

Hypersensitivity

I'm stil crying :upset:.....THANK YOU.....for these tears.......PPQ

[Audrey14]

Hypersensitivity

Thanks Slay for a post!!!
As i had my crazy Day 1 this nice and hearthful letter helped me somehow...