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    #1

    New here

    Hi
    Just wondering if any help can be offered here.

    I don't normally drink during the week, and when l at home on the weekends my husband and l will share a bottle of wine over dinner and l am very comfortable with that.

    The problem is when l go out with friends, (who only drink moderately), or have people over that l find l over indulge. I end up feeling really crappy the next morning and feel so guilty because l can't function properly and take care of my kids the next day. It seems to be happening nearly every single weekend.

    I get very nervouse when l have planned to meet up with friends as a result of my lack of control and therefore have wanted to not see anyone anymore.
    I am not sure how much l drink on these social drinking sessions, but l do know that its way over the normal level. If it happened only once in a while l wouldn't mind so much, but because its happeing every single weekend, l am very worried about my bad habit.

    Not sure how this habit can be cured. Sometimes l drink with friends because l am bored with them or nervouse or just plain wanting to party. So there a variety of different reasons. But each time l do this to myself l hate it and always say l will never do it again, until the next weekend rolls around.

    Please if anyone here can offer me with some advice l would greatly appreciate it.
    Often l don't even crave drinking, l just do it because l want to escape and have some fun. So its not the craving. Usually a couple of wines would fix that craving, its more the zoned out feeling l am craving, the drunk feeling which l feel is so familiar on the weekend, that has becomse such a part of my weekend. Usually its on one day per week, but it ruins my entire weekend.

    Really need to break this habit, but why is it so difficult and why don't l just stick with my rules?

    Snez
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    #2
    New here

    Hello Snez.
    I think drinking can be a gradual build up. It starts with 1 or 2 the odd wknd then 1 or 2 every wknd and so on. the body gradually needs more to get that buzz. I had got to the stage of needing 8 to 10 drinks nearly every night.Drinking before i went out cos i was nervous etc.. Now i am trying to work out why i need that buzz. Something missing in my life? Anyway, maybe you could try to ask yourself questions and talk to other people here, there are loads of very kind, clever, knowledgable people to talk to. Good luck. B

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      #3
      New here

      Shezian

      The greatest tip I can give you is this; don't compare quantities/regularity to others amongst your friends or on this forum. If you *feel* that you have a problem with alcohol, then it's a problem for you and you can choose to do something about it further if you want to.

      You've made a decision to do something about it by doing some research on the net and you've found this site, which is a huge credit to you on its own. Its up to you what you decide to do from here on in. I can absolutely relate to where you are at right now, and you will get nothing but support here. Everyone is honest and supportive and it's confidential. We are all in the same boat.

      Download the pdf book for US$12 and have a read.

      DooDoo
      :heart: Sobriety - Keep it simple :heart:

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        #4
        New here

        Shezian, Hi and welcome. I can only speak from my own experience but you sound like how I used to drink in the past. I would completely binge on weekends with friends but didn't really have an issue besides that. The thing you have to be careful of ,which I was completely ignorant of, is that once you get your brain going with that binging you begin, I think ,to get yourself addicted to alcohol. As time goes by it can really progress into a bigger and bigger problem if you keep on feeding the addiction with alcohol. The earlier in the process you put a halt to it the easier I think it is to stop. And even if you never progressed any further if you are uncomfortable with your current level of drining then it is a problem. This is a great place to come for help and support. There is lots of people who want to help and really know what you are going through. Aquamarine
        NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF YOUR OWN DETERMINATION
        AF SINCE 3/16/2016

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          #5
          New here

          Nothing more to add then read the book & read the posts. Here you will find a very diverse bunch with many things to offer in regards to wisdom & experience.
          :flower: Change a life; make someone feel important. ................. ........................ ..................... ........................ ................. ....... sigpic

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            #6
            New here

            Hello shezian.
            Welcome.
            This is a great place.

            Comment

              #7
              New here

              Shezian:
              None of us starting drinking too much everyday of our lives, we built up to it. It creeps up on you. You sound like you are worried that there is something going on and you don't like it. Good for you! You are aware! Keep reading what people have to say. I believe everyone is different and you will need to find what is right for you, but one thing for sure, you need to start with a recognition that you are uncomfortable, and you have. Bravo. Welcome to MWO!!!
              Learning to live life on the outside of a bottle. :flower:

              Comment

                #8
                New here

                Dear Shezian,
                Your story sounds so familiar...I too am the "go to" person when people want to have fun and party. I too love to drink with friends, laugh, and feel that buzz. I too have nothing in particular that I am "running away" from when I drink. I just love to do it...until the next day. Then I hate myself for it. This pattern went on for most of the last 30 years...in the past few years I found myself drinking more and more often...lately it had become 4-5 nights a week, at least a bottle of wine a night, sometimes more. I read the book and went to see a counselor who helped me figure out what I was looking for with the alcohol. For me it was a sense of freedom from all of my day to responsibilities and stress, a sense of fun, and relaxation. Once I defined what I thought I was looking for, I set about trying to find ways to have fun and relax without the wine. I am actively trying to find things that please me and make me happy every day. She also helped me to see that I have the inner strength to do this by helping me to recall instances in my life when I overcame an obstacle or got through something difficult. Today is AF day #15 for me. I have gone that long before but have never consciously tried to find things to put in place of the wine. Interestingly enough, I am learning that the clear headed mornings after my evenings with friends and the slightly less tight jeans are already helping to reinforce this choice to moderate my drinking. I won't lie, there have been a few situations in the last two weeks when I desperately wanted to drink (especially after an argument with my son and every Friday evening), but the craving passes eventually and I've still had fun with my friends in the two social situations I've been in so far. The things I have found so far that help me are: drinking Pelligrino with lime...sparkling Italian mineral water that comes in a pretty glass bottle and feels festive and special when I open it and drink it in my nicest wine glass; taking long baths in my jacuzzi; writing in my journal, especially when I get a flash of inspiration. For example, the other day when I was exercising the thought came to me that drinking wasn't really giving me what I need anymore. The fun, relaxation, etc. was way overshadowed by how bad I felt about myself the next day...it was just not worth it anymore. Am firmly committed to making it 30 days AF...then may decide to try the occasional glass of wine or may just continue being AF. Anyway, best wishes to you as you begin this journey. The web site really helps, and I think the supplements are helping too, although it has taken a full week of taking them religiously to notice any difference in the craving. Hang in there! WINO2007

                Comment

                  #9
                  New here

                  Hi Win
                  Thank you for such an insight into how you dealt with your problem.
                  It all sounds very familiar.
                  I also did see a councellor last year and she also said l needed to fill in the dangerous times of the week with something else l enjoy, and so something for myself. Friday nights and Saturday nights was my biggest problem nights. So l usually grabbed a magazine or played with my kids while husband cooked dinner. Which was nice. I did this for 2 weekends and l was very pleased with myself and l thought, this is easier than l thought. But it was also easier because l didn't have any social engagments. Its not drinking during social times l think will be the hardest. Afterall, thats what everyone else is doing. I always think to myself, what is the point of having friends over or going out if you can't drink wine?? How boring!! When l can overcome this part, then l will be very pleased with myself.

                  I don't think my drinking will ever increase as l have never really drank during the week, and its only been in the last 2 years that my drinking has increased on the weekends. If anything l really enjoy having a break for a couple of weekends. When l say break, l mean just having a few with my husband. But that doesn't seem to come around much.

                  In my situation am l better giving up altogher or what is the best thing to do?

                  Snez

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