I need to do something about this

[DavidH]

30 years ago I had my first drink. My father was a big drinker and I grew up seeing him come home 3 or 4 times a week plastered....not that my life was unhappy, because it wasn't. He didn't get violent and it didn't seem to effect the daily life in our house, but it was a regular sight that I wasn't completely comfortable with.
I have turned into my father, except worse and now I have a young family and I do the same thing to them and I am totally ashamed of myself. I just don't know when to stop once I have started and my drinking will continue until the early hours of the morning (by myself) on most Friday and Saturday nights. I can usually manage to not have a drink early in the week, because the hangovers last about 3 days and the older I get the worse the hangovers are. I just wish I could control the drinking. Many times I have tried to give up but with no success. Why can't I drink responsibly like all my friends...they can have one or two glasses of wine over dinner yet I am looking for one or two bottles...they can go to a bar b que and have a couple of beers because they have to drive. Not me, I allways drink to excess and someone has to drive me home or I stay the night.
I really want to do something about this....it is effecting my health and above anything else I want to be a responsible parent

[DidItForMe]

I need to do something about this

Welcome to MWO David:
One thing I have learned just by reading the many posts here and talking to so many people on this website is that our brains really are wired differently. I was so used to beating myself up over my inability to control my drinking. All my friends could do it, but I was out of control. Just couldn't stop at two drinks. Read the book, it is very informative. Some people go for the supps, CD's, kudzu, some don't do any of it. Some just come here and talk. I know that the talking has helped me the most. No judgements made here, just support from people who know what you are going through. Hang in there!

[Beaches]

I need to do something about this

Welcome David,
Glad you found this site. Keep reading and posting. You will find a lot of people who share your experience. This is one of the reasons I came here, because I too have small children and needed to make a big change.
Best of luck!

[Accountable for Me]

I need to do something about this

Welcome David! Just as Beaches said you will find a lot of people here who share your experiences. I am a mom of a small child too and needed to make a change. Being able to share with others who understand is a big part in a successful recovery. Hang around here and read a lot. You will find insight and inspiration.

[lushy]

I need to do something about this

Welcome David!!! We can all relate. I would recommend maybe reading the book and seeing if the program looks like something you would be interested in. It can really be tweaked to suit your needs. The others are right about the support here on the boards being key. So I hope you will stick around so we can get to know you better!!! :welcome:

[Breez]

I need to do something about this

I finally gave up the "why me". I've concluded that I'm "special" & am allergic to alcohol.

[Popeye]

I need to do something about this

Hello David,
Glad you found us.
I hope you find what you need.

[amethyst]

I need to do something about this

:welcome: I am new here also( 1st posting yesterday, though I lurked for many months before) No real advise-in the same spot you are- kids at home, wanting to be a better parent. I seem to be somewhat like your father-no real problems with my drinking Other than consuming too much -I seem to have a high tolerance-it is just there, and part of the fabric of my familys' daily life. **I** want it to be different, and better, so they won't have all the ...remember when mom was so drunk... stories to tell each other. Good luck and sober happy days!

[melanie]

I need to do something about this

You have come to the right place, it might take time, but I am positive we can make it together! You want to change, so that is a positive thing, so head up! Keep chatting!

[Ripley]

I need to do something about this

Hi David and :welcome:

echo all the above. Yup, many of us are parents, ashamed of our lack of self control and solitary excessive boozing. DO read the book - apart from anything else it gives you permission to stop beating up on yourself about your lack of "willpower". Our drinking IS about brain wiring: all of us here are alcohol addicts, to one degree or another, self control is not a factor.

The MWO programme is amazing and it works. read everything here and take comfort from all these lovely people. you will be fine

Kate (8 days alcohol free and loving it) x

[Bella]

I need to do something about this

Hello David, You are saying what i have said to myself so many times. Why can't i be like other people and drink responsibly? Why am i tense drinking my wine because i'm thinking about the 2nd and 3rd etc? It's because i'm addicted pure and simple. Its also a habit. Someone told me here that it takes 21 days to form a habit and 21 days to break a habit. I am 21 days AF today so i'll let you know!!! Everyone here will help you and advise you so keep reading and posting, Cyber strengh coming through to you right now! Did you get it? Good luck David. B

[satori]

I need to do something about this

Hi David,

Welcome aboard!

You made it here - so it means you have made a decision to change - that is one of the biggest steps! Well done!

In a way we parents are lucky - we have MORE of a reason to want to give up.

It was my son discovering a stash of empties I had "hidden" and then me hearing myself lying to my 12 year old to cover my sorry ass that made me take that final decision to change!

Good luck!

You will find unlimited love and support here - the folks on here are the best.

Stick around

Take care

Satori

[Bella]

I need to do something about this

You are right there Satori, the guilt of letting my son down over and over drives me to try and address this problem once and for all. My son did not ask for an alcoholic mother!

[DavidH]

I need to do something about this

Thankyou to everyone that posted replies and those that viewed my story...I didn't realise there were so many people out there with similar stories to mine, all wanting to be responsible parents. I am sooo tired of my 10 year old son telling me that I was drunk last night and that feeling of guilt that I can't shake. I come home and cuddle and hold him for ages and hope that he won't feel different towards me.
Amethyst...I can really relate to you, I too seem to have such a high tolerance to alcohol and it also is a fabric of my daily life but also a fabric of daily life in Australia, although not to the excess that I indulge in. I never get falling down drunk, but the empty bottles in the morning absolutely stagger me. Good luck to all....David

[boycie]

I need to do something about this

Hey David, Welcome. I to have small Kids that deserve far better than I was giving. Now they are my biggest support. My 9 year old son loves putting my zero's in my drink tracker can't get better inspiration than that. Mate welcome. I hope you find all the courage, support and inspiration you need here and at home. Kim