LET US ALL BE MORE UNDERSTANDING.

[Patrick]

No doubt I 'm not the only one noticing a little tension creeping in to some posts here.So to all of you who feel insulted, condescended to , being picked upon or singled out .please remember that most people here at the minute are going through a tough ordeal withdrawing from alcohol and some can be understandably a bit over sensitve and are prone to overreacting to some unintended insult.and just because you may feel insulted or singled out that doesnt mean you are ,just try taking it up (politely)via pm and I,m sure things can be cleared up.Sometimes the written word can lose the nuance of speech and the intent be misinterpreted .Is there anyone here who DID'NT snap at someone close while in withdrawl?why should here be any different? Chill out all, we are all on the same journey and just like families not everyone will get along.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgzGwKwLmgM&feature=mr_meh&list=PL71B7035B 05EF3360&playnext=0[/video]]Queen - 'Don't Stop Me Now' - YouTube

[Lavande]

LET US ALL BE MORE UNDERSTANDING.

I totally agree Patrick!

One important thing to remember is always be mindful before you post something. If there's a possibility that your post may offend someone ~ don't post. End of story!

[Alcoholic]

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I agree, Patrick.

Thank you for posting.

We are all going to accidentally offend someone at one point or another in our lives. Just apologize abd go on, no big deal.

But I would have to say that I feel that the nest right now is alienating me. There are comments directed at me, questions directed at me as implying I'm lying about my own recovery.... All that is done of course very subtlety.

Ok. Maybe I'm paranoid. So I thought until I stumbled onto another thread and found others w similar experiences.

I don't want to start a war. I'm here for a buddy to stay here for at least a few days more and I can take my sobriety somewhere else as I've learned a lot from MWO and can join another online alc forum now I find it helpful.

But this war apparently is not new and was here before I got here and will be here when I leave. It has to do w mentioning of moderation or drinking and what is appropriate to discuss in the newbies nest.

I probably won't stick around long enough to find out because as you all know, we should avoid conflicts early in our sobriety. But let those who are interested, click on my name and look back at my posts especially in the newbies nest and look back at what was said throughout the past 2 weeks I was here, and make a judgment for themselves.

This shouldn't be an issue against me. It's an issue you guys have up work on to resolve peacefully.

[Lavande]

LET US ALL BE MORE UNDERSTANDING.

Alcoholic,

Perhaps you are feeling a bit touchy right now, not sure about paranoid.

I have been a member of MWO for nearly 4 years. Not once in all this time have I ever felt picked on or uncomfortable. In the beginning I needed a friendly push to help me move toward my goal & I am grateful to have learned all I have learned here.
When you stop bullshitting yourself you are able to make a lot of progress :H

[Alcoholic]

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Lav.

one can read your above comment and say what you mean is: "you are being over sensitive and Bullshitting yourself, so you won't make any progress."

That is in my humble opinion not what a newbie should hear. We can agree to disagree, Lav.

[stumpy]

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Alcoholic, have you checked out the moderate threads yet? You seem to be moderating and there are alot of great stories over there, I read that thread even though I'm AF. Also, stay on the newbies nest.

[Starfish1]

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"one can read your above comment and say what you mean is: "you are being over sensitive and Bullshitting yourself, so you won't make any progress."


So that's why I am so confused by all this tension.
I just don't get it. When I read what Lav wrote, it distinctly seems to me, that when she says "perhaps you are feeling a bit touchy right now", she is agreeing that Alco may have the tendency to get some hurt feelings right now. Alco called herself "paranoid" and Lav toned it down a bit.
And when Lav said "When you stop BSing yourself you are able to make a lot of progress"- she was speaking of her (Lav's) own self - something she herself learned after she was given a friendly push.
As has been mentioned several times, the written word can be interpreted different ways by different people- but that's all we got here, folks- unless we start calling each other on the phone.
So that leaves us with this:
One important thing to remember is always be mindful before you post something. If there's a possibility that your post may offend someone ~ don't post. End of story!

Just my 2 cents
Star

[Alcoholic]

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Hi Lady Stumpy:

Yes, I joined the mod thread not because I wanted to mod but because i feel comfortable in There.

I'm torn about staying in newbies nest because on one hand it's not good for my sobriety (I've had ~8 total AF days since I joined ~10 days ago)
But then I'm stubborn: Why be run off by some people? Why let some people get under your skin? They don't matter in the big scheme of things. Focus on why you're there... To share feelings and experiences and give support and encouragement to newbies.

[LibraryGirl]

LET US ALL BE MORE UNDERSTANDING.

I was specifically asked to leave the NN whenever I decided to start modding. I was torn about leaving some of my old friends and still posted occasionally until I was practically thrown out. Now, I don't even read the NN anymore and haven't in a long time. It was hard at first to leave it, but I am where I belong now.

[K9Lover]

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LibraryGirl;1399881 wrote: I was specifically asked to leave the NN whenever I decided to start modding. I was torn about leaving some of my old friends and still posted occasionally until I was practically thrown out. Now, I don't even read the NN anymore and haven't in a long time. It was hard at first to leave it, but I am where I belong now.

Now that's just not true. "Asked to leave" and "practically thrown out"? I've NEVER seen that happen and I've been here a LONG time. WHY, WHY, WHY keep stirring the pot with these comments?

[Alcoholic]

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All the sensitivity about these comments is in the context of relapse/moderation/self detoxing etc.

The core issue is whether moderation of alcohol use is a topic that can be brought up in newbies nest. And if it's not allowed, then newbies need to be aware of this rule from the onset/ beginning. That would lead to less confusion, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings.

[K9Lover]

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Alcoholic;1399913 wrote: All the sensitivity about these comments is in the context of relapse/moderation/self detoxing etc.

The core issue is whether moderation of alcohol use is a topic that can be brought up in newbies nest. And if it's not allowed, then newbies need to be aware of this rule from the onset/ beginning. That would lead to less confusion, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings.

Since most of you were not even here when this originally came up...let me clarify. There are no "rules" about what can and cannot be discussed in the Nest. We welcome anyone and everyone. There were certain members that continually came to the Nest "the day after" and talked about their drinking like it was a game. Those couple of people were politely referred to the mods thread. When new people come in a state of crisis (as most do), they do NOT need the constant talk about drinking when they are trying to QUIT. That's all that happened...nobody was thrown out...who of us has the right to throw anybody out of any thread? None! So please, do not let this thing grow out of proportion. Speak your mind and know that you are safe there (and everywhere, I hope). Please keep posting and sharing. Every single member has valuable input. You never know who you may be helping.

[LibraryGirl]

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K9Lover;1399885 wrote: Now that's just not true. "Asked to leave" and "practically thrown out"? I've NEVER seen that happen and I've been here a LONG time. WHY, WHY, WHY keep stirring the pot with these comments?

I was silently shunned and I know what I'm talking about K9. I didn't mention you. I was also told in private by more than one member that if I'm moderating I shouldn't be posting in the NN, whether or not I discussed drinking. I know that I left the NN with a heavy heart and I did NOT want to go. It's been quite a while now, but I didn't leave because I wanted to leave...No I was not "kicked" out, but we all know when subtleties are directed at us.

[Byrdlady]

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I decided to do a post mortem of the whole incident. Indeed, no one was thrown out...the whole affair was incited by the following comment...from there, it escalated and the story is getting even more embellished as we go. This post was made in the NN to DfromCt.

LibraryGirl
Also, be prepared to be outright ignored and shunned if you do decide to moderate. Could be why you don't see many successful moderators here too. Just sayin.

__________________


"Nothing has ever happened in the past that can prevent you from being present now..." E. Tolle

This was the shot heard round the world....and it continues as you can see. B

[LibraryGirl]

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Yes, I said that and it proves my point. What are you getting at? I'll say it again and again. We, modders, are not leaving this site and if we're asked to help Newbies or anyone else, we'll do it. How I perceive what happened to me in the NN is exactly that. My perception. I haven't accused anyone of anything and I stand by what I said. Enough is enough.