What if I have just only realised the connection between my increasingly alarming alcohol problem (2 bottles of wine per day for around the last 14 days with only maybe 1 or 2 alcohol free days) and the fact that my finances are terrible, my business is going no-where fast, I'm putting weight on because I'm not eating balanced and don't have the energy to exercise, I feel increasingly isolated and lost, my skin is looking worse everyday, I'm starting to go to the recycling bins under cover of darkness, I can't be bothered doing much of anything,
What if, it's not a limiting belief I have that I'm not good enough to have a rocking, fit body or have lots of money or grow and drive my business to the success that it deserves - what if, all of those things that are not happening and not going well are not because of me not being good enough but they are because of my addiction.
Recently I've been using wine (weapon of choice) to escape from my fear that I owe 4 mortgage payments. Well, the shit hit the fan a couple of days ago when they took my bank account off me!! Having taken the best part of Tuesday to sort all that out I actually felt relieved, the worst had happened. It was time to man up, so to speak and start bringing in some money. I celebrated with a couple of bottles of wine.
I woke up today and light bulb moment. What if all my problems could be solved and all I have to do is not put that glass to my mouth of an evening?
Sorry to go on folks but I needed to get this down on paper.
The thought of not drinking tonight - even though I feel bad is hard. I've stopped before for 2 years, started again one Christmas and I've slowly slipped back and I'm now worse than I've ever been in the past.
I need the strength to just go for two weeks, just to see what life would be like - total madness. I'm my own jailer and I hold the key to let myself out!!
What if, it's not a limiting belief I have that I'm not good enough to have a rocking, fit body or have lots of money or grow and drive my business to the success that it deserves - what if, all of those things that are not happening and not going well are not because of me not being good enough but they are because of my addiction.
Recently I've been using wine (weapon of choice) to escape from my fear that I owe 4 mortgage payments. Well, the shit hit the fan a couple of days ago when they took my bank account off me!! Having taken the best part of Tuesday to sort all that out I actually felt relieved, the worst had happened. It was time to man up, so to speak and start bringing in some money. I celebrated with a couple of bottles of wine.
I woke up today and light bulb moment. What if all my problems could be solved and all I have to do is not put that glass to my mouth of an evening?
Sorry to go on folks but I needed to get this down on paper.
The thought of not drinking tonight - even though I feel bad is hard. I've stopped before for 2 years, started again one Christmas and I've slowly slipped back and I'm now worse than I've ever been in the past.
I need the strength to just go for two weeks, just to see what life would be like - total madness. I'm my own jailer and I hold the key to let myself out!!
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