Please help!

[almost free]

Please help!

Thanks alcoholic. Also many thanks to zenstyle, paulywogg, mootsbill and turnagain. Your responses yesterday meant the world to me. Thank God I'm in a much better place today!

[Turnagain]

Please help!

I'm really glad you're doing better and that you followed up. Have you had a chance to explore the toolbox? Some of the advice and techniques there sure helped me.

Stick with it...Almost Free!

Toolbox

[BPH]

Please help!

I'm new on here looking at various threads but your message really reached me I am on day 2 today! Be proud of your success and remember how good it felt to help you get back there! As bad as you feel now, know that I look up to you; I never made 2 years of sobriety since I started drinking at 18 and I'm 44! The best I could do was 2 months! You can do it. It doesn't matter how long you last, how many times you have to start. Falling down on your face doesn't mean you have to stay there! One day at a time; here and now..no looking back to yesterday, last year or what ifs about tomorrow. Do not give up!

[timothykoenig]

Please help!

AF, you're absolutely right. Progress, not perfection.
take one day at a time.

we're here for you *hug*

[almost free]

Please help!

Thanks Turnagain, BPH and TimothyK,

(Caution: major rambling ahead.....)

Well, it's Saturday morning. Yesterday was actually much better than most Day 1s I ever had. I had hoped that Thursday would be Day 1, but with the hellish withdrawals, as I mentioned, I ended up going around the block and getting a couple of (large) dark beers to help wean off. (I was shaking too bad to drive to a hospital or anywhere else to get help.) I could never wean off with wine, my drink of choice, as that would have turned into another marathon of drinking. But I was able to 'nurse' those beers all day, really helping with the sweats and shakes. Tremendously. I woke up yesterday, had my lemon water and GABA, and actually felt amazingly well!

Here's the strange thing: I went all out yesterday, eating really well, lots of lemon water, even drinking some 'green drink', which is full of antioxidants and is very nutrient rich, making myself a big organic salad and some organic brown rice with lentils for dinner, totally vegetarian, no sugar, etc. etc. And I woke up today feeling like sh*t! Almost like a hangover. Go figure!

Here's the irony. I was kind of flirting with vegetarianism. Then I remember one of the holistic websites, mercola.com, wherein he said that everyone is different and some people thrive on it, but most don't. That's why there are four times more ex-vegetarians, than vegetarians. For some, especially if they are younger, can go longer, before the cumulative deficiencies show up and make them feel less than optimal.

Where am I going with this? Well, just before I got my two years of sobriety, I read Seven Weeks to Sobriety by Joan Larson, and remembered how important amino acids were to her program.(animal sources of protein being complete in amino acids, whereas vegetarians need to combine some grains with legumes to achieve this full complement.) Well, I adopted her program, bought the supps locally, on my own and ended up starting a 'no white stuff' diet, which was very strong on protein: eggs, lean turkey, chicken, peanut butter, plain yogurt. No white flour, sugar, rice, potatoes, pasta. No fruit, except limited low glycemic, like cherries, and hardly any grains. I allowed myself one whole grain bread a day (later, two). Also, a fresh dark green leafy salad everyday. I felt amazing! And keeping my blood sugar stable, with the low glycemic regimen, really helped with the cravings. I dropped thirty pounds in two months. (btw, amino acids need to be taken on an empty stomach).

I had noticed in AA, that everyone ate lots of sugar, drank tons of coffee and usually smoked. I hated the idea of just substituting three more addictions for the one I had. I must admit that I took up smoking (after a 20 year quit), early on, to give me something to do in cases where my first instinct was to go for a drink. I think it helped in times of stress, but maybe, giving enough time for the good diet to kick in, maybe I could have gotten along without smoking. I do feel it helped somewhat, because it was an incredibly stressful year, and many times I just went out back, sat down with my iced tea (with stevia, no sugar) and had a smoke, whereas, in the past, it would ALWAYS have been a drink. Now I have to quit smoking as well, but first things first.

Damn, I so wanted to be a vegetarian! But listening, for once, to my own body, and remembering how great I felt during those two years, I think I'm going to have to go back to what worked for me in the past. Sorry to go on and on, AND ON! Just needed to spew this morning. I'm half-debating whether to just erase this whole post, having gotten it all out, but am wondering if maybe one thing said here might help someone else. Have no idea but hope it will. Thanks for so much for listening.

[Mick]

Please help!

Hi almost free..read through your posts..and there is some real mixed emotions going on....sit down and write yourself a plan..what you want, how you are going to achieve it pitfalls, how to deal with low times..the complete strategy......then go through it again and see if there are any weak points...better still let someone else see it, and see if they can find any weak links..take it easy.....little steps and we will get there

[almost free]

Please help!

Hi Mick,

Thanks for your response and your good advice. It's true, I am all over the map. But then it's only Day 2. I felt so wretched when I got up today, of course the first thought was of a drink. I was told to do whatever I needed to do to avoid dealing with things in the usual way (drinking), so I got on here and started writing.

To be honest, I am just not up to anything so comprehensive as you suggest, at this point. The fog hasn't lifted and I'm just trying to get through the day without a drink. That's about all I can manage at this point. Besides, as we all know from experience, 'the best laid schemes of mice and men.....often go astray.'

I spent many years in and out of AA. When I was able to get two consecutive years of sobriety, I had a comprehensive plan, which included a daily meeting,(in the beginning, sometimes two), a change of diet, many different supplements recommended by experts, going to the gym, a sponsor, step work, leading meetings, helping others, praying, and a list of people to call when I needed to talk, or just to get support from when I needed a drink. And researching the many different approaches to dealing with alcoholism. I tried to cover all the bases, physical, mental, spiritual.

And yet, here I am. Who knows why it all went to hell. I guess we are all just human.

I'm afraid, for me, alcoholism is not something that responds so neatly to logic and a strategic plan. It is complete insanity. Just read the 'you know you are an alcoholic when.....' thread. I'm sure the posts on there are beyond belief to anyone but another alcoholic.

The 'weak point' is always the affliction of alcoholism. Cunning, baffling, and powerful is indeed true. This website is so helpful, because it offers support, acceptance, many different strategies and tons of feedback on what is working for other alcoholics. So glad I found this wonderful website. And thanks again for responding. Have a great rest of the evening and weekend. Take care.